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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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05/24/2012 new

I am a single mother of 4 boys. I know exactly what you are going through. By reading books on raising boys, the only conclusion I can come up with is..... he needs a good Godly male present in his daily life. Most men in prison grew up without fathers. A mother can never replace a father, there is only so much we can do. They are wired to imitate men, thats how they learn. When there is no man to follow, they grow up confused. My oldest is 10 years old now. I am telling you, I hate my at home life with 4 fatherless boys. I'm on the edge of a meltdown on a daily basis. Point blank....BOYS NEED GOOD DADS.

05/27/2012 new

Wow, you are definately in my prayers! My son's father actually ended up in prison, he had too many father figures in his life as opposed to none at all. Anyway I think my son is putting off any potential suiters at Mass, but it's their loss. The way I see it, if a man can't sit next to a mother and her unrulely child at Mass because it's too much of a distraction, then I guess he's not that disciplined in his prayers and wouldn't have the patience or fortitude needed to be a step-dad.

05/29/2012 new

(Quote) Kate-749265 said: Wow, you are definately in my prayers! My son's father actually ended up in prison, he had too...
(Quote) Kate-749265 said:

Wow, you are definately in my prayers! My son's father actually ended up in prison, he had too many father figures in his life as opposed to none at all. Anyway I think my son is putting off any potential suiters at Mass, but it's their loss. The way I see it, if a man can't sit next to a mother and her unrulely child at Mass because it's too much of a distraction, then I guess he's not that disciplined in his prayers and wouldn't have the patience or fortitude needed to be a step-dad.

--hide--

Great posts, would you ever date a man that has never been married or had children?

05/30/2012 new

I don't see a problem with it, but I'm not gonna let my son get attached until it's serious, and then of course we'd have to agree on parenting techniques and such, and a big deal breaker for me is that he must love and accept my son, and think of him as he would think of his own son.

06/02/2012 new

(Quote) Gloria-860666 said: I am a single mother of 4 boys. I know exactly what you are going through. By reading books on r...
(Quote) Gloria-860666 said:

I am a single mother of 4 boys. I know exactly what you are going through. By reading books on raising boys, the only conclusion I can come up with is..... he needs a good Godly male present in his daily life. Most men in prison grew up without fathers. A mother can never replace a father, there is only so much we can do. They are wired to imitate men, thats how they learn. When there is no man to follow, they grow up confused. My oldest is 10 years old now. I am telling you, I hate my at home life with 4 fatherless boys. I'm on the edge of a meltdown on a daily basis. Point blank....BOYS NEED GOOD DADS.

--hide--

Gloria, I never had any biological children of my own but I did have a young boy in my care for six years, and I recognized that very fact you are stating here. Boys need good dads.

06/02/2012 new

(Quote) Kate-749265 said: I have a 6 yr old who consistantly acts out during mass. Its really hard to meet people when you&#...
(Quote) Kate-749265 said:

I have a 6 yr old who consistantly acts out during mass. Its really hard to meet people when you're sooo embarrassed and no one ever dares to sit near us, it's like a disease. I remember when I was little my sibs and I used to act up as well, and we eventually got older and quit going to mass all together. I've tried talking to him a million times and it doesn't seem to work. Tried bribing its hit or miss. Ignore him and it gets worse. I want to be able to enjoy mass and really pray and focus on the sermons, not constantly trying to curb his behavior. Does anyone have any ideas?

--hide--

I really don't know what to tell you. There was a couple that went to Mass with us and they had two little girls. The girls were plenty old enough to sit still and behave and pay attention, but they'd misbehave and if their parents told them no or tried to discipline them, they'd throw monstrous temper tantrums so eventually the parents just did nothing. And it always drives me crazy when kids misbehave during Mass. Maybe that's because when my brothers and I were 2 or 3, we were expected to sit still and behave and not complain. And that's what we did, probably because we knew the penalty for not obeying.

06/06/2012 new

(Quote) Kate-749265 said: I have a 6 yr old who consistantly acts out during mass. Its really hard to meet people when you&#...
(Quote) Kate-749265 said:

I have a 6 yr old who consistantly acts out during mass. Its really hard to meet people when you're sooo embarrassed and no one ever dares to sit near us, it's like a disease. I remember when I was little my sibs and I used to act up as well, and we eventually got older and quit going to mass all together. I've tried talking to him a million times and it doesn't seem to work. Tried bribing its hit or miss. Ignore him and it gets worse. I want to be able to enjoy mass and really pray and focus on the sermons, not constantly trying to curb his behavior. Does anyone have any ideas?

--hide--


this will pass. i haqve 5 kids and went through this for 15 years. talk to him before and after mass about what type of behavior is expected. mine used to ask when it would be over and i'd say after we kneel for a long time then walk to the front then sing on e more song. this helped them pay attention andlearn the parts of the mass.


don't mind any crank who gives you grief about his behavior. never let them make you feel bad. they have a problem - not you.

06/12/2012 new
i could tell you stories! Janna is five and she is special needs. She does not have ADHD but sometimes she acts like it. I have been told that she is more active than most children her age. She used to call the Parish Priest Jesus. The Church we attend now is the Cathedral. they have a crying room where we sit. Janna is full of questions and does not understand why she cannot recieve Communion.

We have missed Mass quite a bit lately because we have both been sick but we will be getting back to it. I have Catholic coloring books for her and we also have a write on and wipe off book about the Mass. She is really into the write on and wipe off books right now.

We used to bring a little cosmetic bag filled with animals and trucks for her and the kids around her to play with but we now just do the books and crayons. She is getting better about sitting through Mass but i am learning as we go. We went to a Children's Mass at the School once, in the gym. Not a good idea; Janna would not sit still and was trying to run and play. We will stay in the Church. She wants to sit in the balcony, so that is an incentive for her to behave. She needs to sit through Mass three times in a row to sit in the balcony. If she doesn't behave, it is back to the crying room. Since she is five, I figure that she has a couple of years to learn how to sit through Mass.
06/12/2012 new

Just keep bringing her. Does any parish in your area use the (Montessori method) Good Shepherd catechesis? It's especially effective with children who have difficulty focussing. Try to instill a few basic thoughts - that God loves her and wants her to be there, that we try to listen to what they say in church because it's one way God speaks to us. Let her know she will receive communin when she's 7 or 8.

God bless you and Janna. heart

06/13/2012 new
(Quote) David-364112 said: Just keep bringing her. Does any parish in your area use the (Montessori method) Good Shepherd catechesis? It...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

Just keep bringing her. Does any parish in your area use the (Montessori method) Good Shepherd catechesis? It's especially effective with children who have difficulty focussing. Try to instill a few basic thoughts - that God loves her and wants her to be there, that we try to listen to what they say in church because it's one way God speaks to us. Let her know she will receive communin when she's 7 or 8.

God bless you and Janna.

--hide--


I am not sure about the Good Shepherd Catechesis but the crying room is right next to the alter and she does like to watch. I need to remember to bring a stool in so she can see a little better.

I did find out that letting her pick breakfast as a treat seems to work quite a bit. We usually eat something before Mass, she can't get through Mass without getting something first. She brings her soy supplement in a no spill cup and then after Mass she either picks a restaurant or something at home. She really likes the spiced pancakes that I make for her with no milk and no eggs in them. She also likes sausage, bacon, and potatoes (hash browns, country potatoes or french fries depending on mood!) That seems to work sometimes.
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