What do you do when you just can't get your beliefs to line up with the Church's teachings? I'm not going to say what belief and start a HUGE debate. Let's say something that the Church has taken a stance on that is clear and concise---you just can't agree with no matter how hard you try? I try praying and asking God to help me understand. I study, read encyclicals, all sorts of things but it's personal to me and it's really hard to separate the emotion from the teachings. I also genuinely see (in my opinion) what seems to be a totally irrational, illogical basis for the whole teaching and I have this horrible thing about thinking--I can't just shut off my brain and pretend I don't see and think what I do.
I really do struggle with this and I've talked to the priest and left saying, "I just am not there, Father". I am not being angry or trying to be deliberately rebellious at all but I just can't seem to get my head wrapped around it and can't sign on the dotted line.
It also sort of connects (indirectly) to an addiction I struggle with so that makes it harder. Recently I just decided to "throw in the towel" on the addiction as I just can't do it...can't do what the Church says and I've sincerely tried. Confession has become a revolving door and in doing that, the addiction becomes all I think and obsess about, which makes it all worse.
Not sure what to do....I talked to my Confessor who keeps telling me not to give up but I'm sick of bashing the heck out of myself when I fall down which can be 3-5 times a week!
Has anyone else struggled with a teaching of the Church and either is still in that situation or resolved it? I'd like to hear from you--and I think it's best we not name the topics as things can get sidetracked--just asking about the struggle and giving up or resolving it.