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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Till Death do Us Part

05/15/2012 new

While listening to a motivational speaker address a team meeting today, I was fascinated by one segment where he repeatedly made a statement, for maximal effect: "If you find you cannot change the people around you, you have to change the people around you."

I purposely placed this thread in this room. While it could have easily went into St Pete's, and would have been weighted towards committed relationships, I believe it would given much more contemplation and reflection in this room, for obvious reasons.

Thoughts? Criticisms? Comparisons?

05/15/2012 new
(Quote) Richard-143340 said: While listening to a motivational speaker address a team meeting today, I was fascinated by one segment where...
(Quote) Richard-143340 said:

While listening to a motivational speaker address a team meeting today, I was fascinated by one segment where he repeatedly made a statement, for maximal effect: "If you find you cannot change the people around you, you have to change the people around you."



I purposely placed this thread in this room. While it could have easily went into St Pete's, and would have been weighted towards committed relationships, I believe it would given much more contemplation and reflection in this room, for obvious reasons.





Thoughts? Criticisms? Comparisons?

--hide--


If you can't change the people around you, you have to change the people around you?

what is this referring to?? Getting new friends?
05/15/2012 new

Friends, certainly, But I had tried to frame the thread within the particular institution of marriage. My apologies for not writing my thoughts more clearly.

05/15/2012 new
(Quote) Richard-143340 said: Friends, certainly, But I had tried to frame the thread within the particular institution of marriage. My apo...
(Quote) Richard-143340 said:

Friends, certainly, But I had tried to frame the thread within the particular institution of marriage. My apologies for not writing my thoughts more clearly.

--hide--


Marriage is a sacrament & should be discerned before choosing it. I know I have an annulment so obviously I did not choose wisely when I entered marriage at the age of 23. I would hope that if I get married again I will try to get to know the someone well before saying I Do. I am still of the mind that if I enter marriage again it will be for keeps.

So I guess I hope to not have to choose new friends once I am married......
05/15/2012 new

(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: Marriage is a sacrament & should be discerned before choosing it. I know I have an annulment...
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:

Marriage is a sacrament & should be discerned before choosing it. I know I have an annulment so obviously I did not choose wisely when I entered marriage at the age of 23. I would hope that if I get married again I will try to get to know the someone well before saying I Do. I am still of the mind that if I enter marriage again it will be for keeps.

So I guess I hope to not have to choose new friends once I am married......
--hide--

Me too, Brenda.

05/15/2012 new

not sure where you're going with this, but I'll give it a stab. I ain't got anything better to do!! laughing wink laughing

If a married couple is hanging around with a bunch of single friends who are going to the bar every night and sleeping around,
they might want to consider building some new friendships with other committed married couples.

Marriage can be difficult without a support system of like-minded people who share your faith and beliefs.

My two cents

(Quote) Richard-143340 said: Friends, certainly, But I had tried to frame the thread within the particular institution of ma...
(Quote) Richard-143340 said:

Friends, certainly, But I had tried to frame the thread within the particular institution of marriage. My apologies for not writing my thoughts more clearly.

--hide--

05/15/2012 new

(Quote) Debbie-168656 said: not sure where you're going with this, but I'll give it a stab. I ain't got anything...
(Quote) Debbie-168656 said:

not sure where you're going with this, but I'll give it a stab. I ain't got anything better to do!!

If a married couple is hanging around with a bunch of single friends who are going to the bar every night and sleeping around,
they might want to consider building some new friendships with other committed married couples.

Marriage can be difficult without a support system of like-minded people who share your faith and beliefs.

My

--hide--

Well, not exactly. Some marriages fail because of some catastropic event. Others fail because of the "pebble-in-the-shoe". One or both throw in the towel, so to speak. That was the idea behind this rather poorly written thread. laughing It was the idea that growth together ceased and growth apart took root..

05/15/2012 new

(Quote) Richard-143340 said: Well, not exactly. Some marriages fail because of some catastropic event. Others fail ...
(Quote) Richard-143340 said:

Well, not exactly. Some marriages fail because of some catastropic event. Others fail because of the "pebble-in-the-shoe". One or both throw in the towel, so to speak. That was the idea behind this rather poorly written thread. It was the idea that growth together ceased and growth apart took root..

--hide--

Sheesh. My spelling. Where's my glasses. eyepopping

05/15/2012 new
(Quote) Richard-143340 said: Well, not exactly. Some marriages fail because of some catastropic event. Others fail because...
(Quote) Richard-143340 said:



Well, not exactly. Some marriages fail because of some catastropic event. Others fail because of the "pebble-in-the-shoe". One or both throw in the towel, so to speak. That was the idea behind this rather poorly written thread. It was the idea that growth together ceased and growth apart took root..

--hide--


You know things do happen in marriage that changes people. In dating also, I know I am not the same person today that I was when I was in my 20's. Life happens, it is how you deal with bumps in the road that defines the person you become. And when a huge life event happens such as the one that happened in my life last year it does change you. I can honestly say a year later it takes time to allow God to heal you & draw you closer to him. I think the hope is that when you are married you both decide together to draw closer to God through prayer & that you keep the lines of communication open. And yes sometimes you learn to change & grow together....
05/15/2012 new
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said: You know things do happen in marriage that changes people. In dating also, I know I am not the same person...
(Quote) Brenda-74660 said:

You know things do happen in marriage that changes people. In dating also, I know I am not the same person today that I was when I was in my 20's. Life happens, it is how you deal with bumps in the road that defines the person you become. And when a huge life event happens such as the one that happened in my life last year it does change you. I can honestly say a year later it takes time to allow God to heal you & draw you closer to him. I think the hope is that when you are married you both decide together to draw closer to God through prayer & that you keep the lines of communication open. And yes sometimes you learn to change & grow together....
--hide--


I think the movie series Love Comes Softly addresses this particular problem well. The young woman was being courted by a rich gentleman when a turn of events caused her to have to help out on the farm. So in turn when the gentleman was talking about using his money to fix problems in life she asked him how he saw life if he ever lost his money? He did not quite get the question & said his family would always be rich.

She ended up marrying the poor farmer who wanted to walk beside her in times of trouble....
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