This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.
Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
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Where I was living at that time, there was a fireplace ... the pictures mysteriously made their way there and went up in smoke ... no reason for me to have hung onto them ... all the best to you, Lorrie
That's what I want to do with the divorce papers! That's were the pain was.
I haven't answered this one myself, either. My annulment came through earlier this year, and as I let the marriage and its losses go, as I realize the bond was not sacramental, I am coming to believe I should dispose of the photographs.
They make little sense, no longer carry the meaning they did when I was under the belief that a true vow had been made in God.
I came to a point where I stopped looking at them, even the beautiful one of me alone in my dress. All the love that went into the planning and preparation is yet one more grief to let go of.
However, I don't want to dispose of them in anger or vengeance. My personal feelings are very complex over the whole thing. I would prefer to lovingly let them go in the way I have worked to lovingly let the marriage go. How do you do that when you are "destroying" something?
Maybe the answer is to bury them or burn them as a renewal. I'm not sure. I'd welcome your thoughts.
Hi Lisa Marie, you weren't asking me but I was reading through this and saw your post from yesterday~ I relate to what you said about the reluctance to "destroy." When I was going through this it seemed to me that burning them would be a gentle way to dispose of them (I think Anne Marie mentioned the "phoenix," I like that hopeful reference to new life). I had a couple of friends over and we built a small fire in the backyard and placed the pictures in the flames. We prayed and cried together as the photos slowly burned. It was very healing and good to share it with close friends. (The rings went into the river but that's a different story!) Just my experience.
I have children so for me I kept one wedding picture for my children. Later in life it might be important to them and perhaps one or more of them may want it. I didn't keep it for myself. I have grandparents and great grandparents who are now deceased. I would love to have their wedding pictures. Therefore maybe if not my children, my grandchildren might one day be interested in my wedding picture.
I left the rest of the wedding pictures for my ex husband. He can do whatever he would like to do with them. I only took one. I left my wedding rings for ex husband too.
I gave my wedding ring to my daughter.
I suggest that you re-think the word 'mean'. Who are you being mean to? Would you be mean to your former husband? Would you be mean to yourself?
Why dust them off? Start my boxing them and storing in a closet, out of site. The longer they are there, the more detached you will be from them and the marriage. Maybe later you can dispose of them. Maybe family members and friends that are in the photos may want some.
I'll be giving mind to my daughter. What she does after that will be out of my control and I won't ask either!
When I moved from the house to an apartment, there were a few personal things that I simply could not throw in the trash. I left them at the house and told the cleaning lady that they needed to disappear but I couldn't make it happen. There were thousands of slides of our married life. Our daugher didn't want them either.
Start moving forward, one step at a time.