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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

So the highly anticipated letter from the Archdiocese arrived today, and I read that the Judicial Vicar “is pleased to inform [me] that [my] marriage to [my former spouse] has been declared invalid.” (Wording that I did find a bit odd, but I’ll save that for another thread).

My first reaction was to immediately say a prayer of gratitude as this was a Ligamen (Prior Bond) submission, which, in my archdiocese, requires responses form the respondent, witnesses, and the respondent’s former spouse(!?), all of whom, praise God, obviously did their part.

Anyway, my second reaction was to open a help ticket with CM to get my marital status updated on my profile. Okay, so far, so good.

Now, my third reaction, and one that was entirely unexpected, was to experience a sudden wave of sadness that I had not at all anticipated, especially after having gone through the entire annulment process over the past three months or so, leaving lots of time to come to terms with it all.

How about the rest of you “annullees (I think I just invented a word)?” Did you, too, experience a tinge or more of sadness once “the letter” was received, or were you jumping for joy, or was it something in between?

05/23/2012 new
Hi Vic,

I got an email from my Advocate on Mother's Day, letting me know to expect my Annulment letter in a few days. The email was joyful news, especially since it was in the personal style of the priest who had guided me through the rough seas of Annulment. The letter made me sad because it made me think of the past and the divorce.

I am grateful for the Annulment and the hard work of the Tribunal and my Advocate.

You get over the sadness of "what could have been" and start looking forward to the possibilities.

Congratulations - you are very blessed theheart
05/23/2012 new

(Quote) Vic-745458 said: So the highly anticipated letter from the Archdiocese arrived today...
(Quote) Vic-745458 said:

So the highly anticipated letter from the Archdiocese arrived today...

--hide--

Dear Vic,

I felt the same way you did when I received my decree of nullity. I felt freed of a terrible burden and at the same time, mournful over a marriage I hadn't wanted to end. I don't think many people go to the altar with the intention of getting divorced, so I'd say your reaction is quite normal.

I received my decree of nullity in 1997 and one thing I've learned since then, is to always remember Romans 8:28: "For we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him." If you can take this to heart and use it as your compass for the future, I think you will begin seeing the good things that God has in store for you in this new chapter of your life.

God bless you and best wishes for your search here on CatholicMatch! smile

Sincerely - Lisa

05/23/2012 new

I felt an immense sense of relief. And, then I cried. It was like someone had died. I didn't expect that either. I think I was grieving what could have been, the loss/death of a a dream, a hope.

05/23/2012 new

I can't say I felt 'sadness'..But I wasn't doing a happy dance either.. I just felt an anticlimactic numbness that after 20 years of anticipating getting it done and 18 mos of biting my fingernails through the process, it was finally over. It's kind of like anticipating Christmas for 364 days and and the day after you go.."All that anticpation and now it's over"

05/23/2012 new

Hi Vic,

I felt great joy, excitement and some sadness. The joy and excitement were for the opening of a new chapter in my life. The sadness was for realizing the dreams I had before my marriage would not become reality with that man. I did get over the sadness quickly since the entire divorce and annulment process showed me that he was not the man for me.

05/23/2012 new

Vic,


I'm still in the process, but that's the way I felt when my divorce was finalized. I do not think the 'death' of a marriage, however it happens, is something that any of us necessarily celebrate. I grieved the broken dreams, broken vows, broken friendship. I pray that God sends his grace through all of the emotions as they come.

Anne Marie

05/27/2012 new

[quote]Vic-745458 said:

So the highly anticipated letter from the Archdiocese arrived today, and I read that the Judicial Vicar “is pleased to inform [me] that [my] marriage to [my former spouse] has been declared invalid.” (Wording that I did find a bit odd, but I’ll save that for another thread).

My first reaction was to immediately say a prayer of gratitude as this was a Ligamen (Prior Bond) submission, which, in my archdiocese, requires responses form the respondent, witnesses, and the respondent’s former spouse(!?), all of whom, praise God, obviously did their part.

Anyway, my second reaction was to open a help ticket with CM to get my marital status updated on my profile. Okay, so far, so good.

Now, my third reaction, and one that was entirely unexpected, was to experience a sudden wave of sadness that I had not at all anticipated, especially after having gone through the entire annulment process over the past three months or so, leaving lots of time to come to terms with it all.

How about the rest of you “annullees (I think I just invented a word)?” Did you, too, experience a tinge or more of sadness once “the letter” was received, or were you jumping for joy, or was it something in between?

[Congratulations to you Vic! I hope that's acceptable to say. Although I didn't experience any sadness with my declaration, I think it's natural to experience mixed emotions when going through something emotionally traumatic. My nullity process was conducted in similiar style to yours - the Prior Bond submission - and took close to 18 months to be completed. My nullity process included formal written testimony as well as verbal acquisition. I kept all emotions in check and all the proceedings to myself to try and protect my three young (at the time) children. So, when I received my letter, I dropped to my knees in humble gratitude and had a Niagra falls tear party (On my own, the kids weren't privy to this part either). I felt I had been washed in the Peace of Christ.

btw - luv your new word laughing ]

05/27/2012 new

Vic,

As with my divorce, I certainly did not feel any joy. Since the first response from the Tribunal was not approved, I met with the second in command at the Tribunal and discussed my options. When I received the next letter, I was unsure what to expect. I recall in early January when the final letter arrived. I looked at the envelope for several minutes before opening and reading the letter. It was finally approved. I must admit I felt sadness and tears in my eyes as it brought to mind the many good things we did as a family, how that relationship produced two wonderful children.

That was then and this is now. That approval allows me the option to one day marry again in the church if that is God wish.

Blessings, Praying Praying Praying

Leon

05/27/2012 new


Even though I would love to re-marry again, and I'll only do so in the Catholic Church.

It makes me very sad to even think about the process; I can somewhat sympathize with your feelings.

So, I definitely have very MIXED feelings about this whole annulment process.







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