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Singles discussion related to wedding planning, engagement, and married life should be posted in this room.

Saint Valentine is patron saint of love, young people, and happy marriages.
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06/01/2012 new

(Quote) John-727073 said: Joan - I have to say I enjoy reading your posts. They are insightful and educational. And ...
(Quote) John-727073 said:



Joan - I have to say I enjoy reading your posts. They are insightful and educational. And I do look forward to hearing more of your views in the future.

Keep in mind, that "lack of due discretion" has all the full force and effect of all the other reasons for granting an annulment.

To Jerry's question - there is a defender of the bond of marriage who is present in the proceedings, so any reasons that cannot establish a grounds for an annulment - I'm speculating here, Jerry - likely would eminate from that person.

The annulment process was very educational to me, mostly because I learned things in it that I never heard in years of Catholic grade school, high school and university educations. And I see people on here committing errors that would be grounds for an annulment and just pray that someone intervenes to point out the error before it's too late. To this end, I think the potential of CM in the Catholic church has yet to be fully tapped ...

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Good, informative post, John. However, I am curious about the errors you see on CM which could lead to future grounds? An example or two would be helpful. I certainly do not want to be guilty of any such behavior.

06/01/2012 new

(Quote) Lisa-572677 said: Good, informative post, John. However, I am curious about the errors you see on CM which ...
(Quote) Lisa-572677 said:

Good, informative post, John. However, I am curious about the errors you see on CM which could lead to future grounds? An example or two would be helpful. I certainly do not want to be guilty of any such behavior.

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While I can't speak for John, I don't think it's behavior he's referring to, but rather the beliefs inconsistent with Church teachings that are expressed in the forum posts. One example are those who indicate they plan to execute pre-nuptual agreements beyond the limited usage the Church has indicated is permissible.

06/01/2012 new

Thanks, Jerry. So, what does the Church find acceptable in a pre-nup? Would it lean towards inheritance for children of a previous union?

06/01/2012 new

Thanks, Jerry. So, what does the Church find acceptable in a pre-nup? Would it lean towards inheritance for children of a previous union?

06/01/2012 new

(Quote) Lisa-572677 said: So, what does the Church find acceptable in a pre-nup? Would it lean towards inheritance for child...
(Quote) Lisa-572677 said:

So, what does the Church find acceptable in a pre-nup? Would it lean towards inheritance for children of a previous union?

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That is my understanding from what I have read about the church and pre-nuptiual agreements. If there are children from previous marriages or other family members who need to be considered, then a prenup is OK or even encouraged. Clearly it is not OK for a prenup between two young people with no children involved. A lot of prenups have to do with one person having a lot more money/assets than the other, so at least in theory the intention is to protect the richer person if the marriage only lasts a short time. But of course that is not acceptable in the eyes of the church.


Based on what I have read, I would need a prenup if I were to get married, to ensure that my wife's kids get their inheritance. This is a major issue, as far as I can see, and I would not marry without having an agreed upon plan in writing.


Our accountant used to say that if my wife died first, that my second wife's kids would likely get all the inheritance from the first marriage, even the family heirlooms and photos. The horror stories are out there. So this does need to be considered. For this reason my wife's IRA had her kids as beneficiaries, not me, so that they would get some money when she died. But her IRA was less than one tenth of what my estate would be if I died tomorrow.


Richard



06/01/2012 new

(Quote) John-727073 said: The problem with being an editor is that we are always re-writing and revising.
(Quote) John-727073 said:




The problem with being an editor is that we are always re-writing and revising.

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Ain't that the truth!

06/01/2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: While I can't speak for John, I don't think it's behavior he's referring to, but rather t...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: While I can't speak for John, I don't think it's behavior he's referring to, but rather the beliefs inconsistent with Church teachings that are expressed in the forum posts. One example are those who indicate they plan to execute pre-nuptual agreements beyond the limited usage the Church has indicated is permissible.
--hide--


Thank you, Jerry. That is one such belief that, yes, is inconsistent with church teachings.

Another is this: make sure the people with whom you talk on here really use the name they say they have. Now, some European cultures encouage use of a confirmed name for church matters (so that is a cultural distinction), but make sure that the name is true. Why? When a person says he or she is using a nickname for any reason, and you later find out that that isn't true, the matter concerns fraud and deception and can be grounds for an invalid marriage. This is why I really bristle when I see people on here try to get past the CM filters with clearly erroneous names. It's not CM that they're deceiving. They're deceiving themselves.

Another is this: setting grounds for why you will or won't enter into marriage. For example, a marriage isn't considered "freely entered" when one or the other party imposes a "condition" on the other. There is an entire section in most annulment forms by the dioceses in the United States which asks, "Were there any conditions for the marriage?" I get concerned when I see people making various "conditional" comments because, to me, it's a "red flag" that they may not understand the self-gift aspect that is important to the core of the marital commitment.

Have I confused everyone? eyepopping

06/02/2012 new
06/02/2012 new

Claire, Not enough info, such as the Lord, love, happiness etc

06/02/2012 new

(Quote) John-727073 said:Another is this: make sure the people with whom you talk on here really use the name they say they...
(Quote) John-727073 said:

Another is this: make sure the people with whom you talk on here really use the name they say they have. Now, some European cultures encouage use of a confirmed name for church matters (so that is a cultural distinction), but make sure that the name is true. Why? When a person says he or she is using a nickname for any reason, and you later find out that that isn't true, the matter concerns fraud and deception and can be grounds for an invalid marriage. This is why I really bristle when I see people on here try to get past the CM filters with clearly erroneous names. It's not CM that they're deceiving. They're deceiving themselves.

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I don't understand your concern about using aliases on CM (or any dating site for that matter). It is true that deceit regarding one's identity can be ground for an annulment; however, that deceit would have to persist up to the marriage. Do you have reason to believe it is common for those who use aliases for an on-line identity to not reveal their true names to those they date, much less discern marriage with?

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