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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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I have 5 kids (12, 10, 8, 5 yo twins)....my ex has been unemployed for the past 2 1/2 months (receiving unemployment benefits). I worked part time this past year as a tutor for our school district, which naturally ended w/the end of the school year. I was planning on returning in the fall. I am now, however, forced to start looking for a job due to the fact I do not feel secure child support will continued to be made.

My dilemma: I've been presented with a full time opportunity. This position would give me fully paid health, dental, vision, & a fee free pension plan after a year. It would also require the kids to attend morning latchkey (apprx 20 mins) & after school latchkey (apprx 45-1hr). It would also require the use of my parents (66 & 70), taking away some of their freedom. And it would mean possibly switching my twins from 1/2 day Kindergarten to all day. And there is summer time to contend with...this position wouldn't start until July, so I think I got this summer figured out, but what about the ones to come?

I wasn't really intending to attempt to go back full time for another year...but is this an opportunity I should pass up? What other job will pay full health benefits? What other job is going to allow me to be off at 4pm? Is all that worth giving up another year of time w/the kids...especially the 5 yo's?

Dad has little involvement...see's the kids 2X (if they are lucky) for less than 24 hrs a time. So, he is not an option to help out.

Need advice, experience, opinions & most of all prayers please!!

Thanks!

06/09/2012 new

(Quote) Laura-824866 said: I have 5 kids (12, 10, 8, 5 yo twins)....my ex has been unemployed for the past 2 1/2 months (rec...
(Quote) Laura-824866 said:

I have 5 kids (12, 10, 8, 5 yo twins)....my ex has been unemployed for the past 2 1/2 months (receiving unemployment benefits). I worked part time this past year as a tutor for our school district, which naturally ended w/the end of the school year. I was planning on returning in the fall. I am now, however, forced to start looking for a job due to the fact I do not feel secure child support will continued to be made.

My dilemma: I've been presented with a full time opportunity. This position would give me fully paid health, dental, vision, & a fee free pension plan after a year. It would also require the kids to attend morning latchkey (apprx 20 mins) & after school latchkey (apprx 45-1hr). It would also require the use of my parents (66 & 70), taking away some of their freedom. And it would mean possibly switching my twins from 1/2 day Kindergarten to all day. And there is summer time to contend with...this position wouldn't start until July, so I think I got this summer figured out, but what about the ones to come?

I wasn't really intending to attempt to go back full time for another year...but is this an opportunity I should pass up? What other job will pay full health benefits? What other job is going to allow me to be off at 4pm? Is all that worth giving up another year of time w/the kids...especially the 5 yo's?

Dad has little involvement...see's the kids 2X (if they are lucky) for less than 24 hrs a time. So, he is not an option to help out.

Need advice, experience, opinions & most of all prayers please!!

Thanks!

--hide--
Praying rosary theheart


It sounds like a good opportunity for you.Considering the economic climate it even better.Under the circumstances I would take the job.Pray that things will fall into place.Your children are school age so the majority of the time they will be in school.By next summer they would be older and there may be more activities that they can be involved in.I used to go to camps which I loved and developed my love for swimming.


Hope things work out.

06/09/2012 new

(Quote) Sherrill-anne-13557 said: (Quote) Laura-824866 said: I have 5 kids (12, 10, 8, 5 yo twins)......
(Quote) Sherrill-anne-13557 said:

Quote:
Laura-824866 said:

I have 5 kids (12, 10, 8, 5 yo twins)....my ex has been unemployed for the past 2 1/2 months (receiving unemployment benefits). I worked part time this past year as a tutor for our school district, which naturally ended w/the end of the school year. I was planning on returning in the fall. I am now, however, forced to start looking for a job due to the fact I do not feel secure child support will continued to be made.

My dilemma: I've been presented with a full time opportunity. This position would give me fully paid health, dental, vision, & a fee free pension plan after a year. It would also require the kids to attend morning latchkey (apprx 20 mins) & after school latchkey (apprx 45-1hr). It would also require the use of my parents (66 & 70), taking away some of their freedom. And it would mean possibly switching my twins from 1/2 day Kindergarten to all day. And there is summer time to contend with...this position wouldn't start until July, so I think I got this summer figured out, but what about the ones to come?

I wasn't really intending to attempt to go back full time for another year...but is this an opportunity I should pass up? What other job will pay full health benefits? What other job is going to allow me to be off at 4pm? Is all that worth giving up another year of time w/the kids...especially the 5 yo's?

Dad has little involvement...see's the kids 2X (if they are lucky) for less than 24 hrs a time. So, he is not an option to help out.

Need advice, experience, opinions & most of all prayers please!!

Thanks!



It sounds like a good opportunity for you.Considering the economic climate it even better.Under the circumstances I would take the job.Pray that things will fall into place.Your children are school age so the majority of the time they will be in school.By next summer they would be older and there may be more activities that they can be involved in.I used to go to camps which I loved and developed my love for swimming.


Hope things work out.

--hide--

I agree. Sounds like too good an opportunity to pass up in the present economic climate. Praying hug rosary

06/09/2012 new
Sounds like wonderful job opportunity. I went to work 7 years ago as a teacher. I was amazed how well my children adapted. My son loved the latch key program ( the cost was high). Now my children are older and have clubs after school that provide transportation and I have awesome neighbors and friends. This year my school had to make chances so I am only working 36 hour. They let me have the 4 hours off on the day my children have early dismissal in their district. I have a college student ( his family is from my church) to fill in the gaps.

My ex was unemployed for a year before Child support enforcement could do.anything. I offered to my ex that he would pay half of his support while he was out of work. He refused so eventually child support was able to help him.

To avoid spending weekends cleaning, I made calendar of chores. ie. Thursday vacuum, Friday bedrooms ( I first helped the Kids on learning what mom defined as clean then took a picture for their reference) Sat groceries and meal planning It gave the children simple responsibilities. Plus we were able to honor God on Sunday as a family with mass and fun time.
06/09/2012 new
(Quote) Laura-824866 said: I have 5 kids (12, 10, 8, 5 yo twins)....my ex has been unemployed for the past 2 1/2 months (receiving unemplo...
(Quote) Laura-824866 said:

I have 5 kids (12, 10, 8, 5 yo twins)....my ex has been unemployed for the past 2 1/2 months (receiving unemployment benefits). I worked part time this past year as a tutor for our school district, which naturally ended w/the end of the school year. I was planning on returning in the fall. I am now, however, forced to start looking for a job due to the fact I do not feel secure child support will continued to be made.



My dilemma: I've been presented with a full time opportunity. This position would give me fully paid health, dental, vision, & a fee free pension plan after a year. It would also require the kids to attend morning latchkey (apprx 20 mins) & after school latchkey (apprx 45-1hr). It would also require the use of my parents (66 & 70), taking away some of their freedom. And it would mean possibly switching my twins from 1/2 day Kindergarten to all day. And there is summer time to contend with...this position wouldn't start until July, so I think I got this summer figured out, but what about the ones to come?



I wasn't really intending to attempt to go back full time for another year...but is this an opportunity I should pass up? What other job will pay full health benefits? What other job is going to allow me to be off at 4pm? Is all that worth giving up another year of time w/the kids...especially the 5 yo's?



Dad has little involvement...see's the kids 2X (if they are lucky) for less than 24 hrs a time. So, he is not an option to help out.



Need advice, experience, opinions & most of all prayers please!!



Thanks!

--hide--


Good for you Laura! I wouldn't depend on Child Support because of my own experience in the past. It can stop and start and be very erratic. I found it best to be thought of as money to add to the budget if it is received. Don't hesitate to ask for your parents help. How can they enjoy more "freedom" if you and the children are stressed and struggling? hug
06/09/2012 new

My heart hurts for you! I was blessed to not have to work when the kids were little, and when I did return to work when they got a little older, I usually worked at schools and had the summers off. When my son died I had to return to work full-time. I was able to delay a little longer, because my daughter was facing surgery a few months later. When she was 12, I was working a full-time job (no more summers off) and she really missed being able to come home and have that time with me right after school. Even though I pretty much worked the same hours as she was in school, there was that hour after school to be filled with "programs" when she really needed to be home destressing. We both missed spending the summers together.

I know you're looking at a great opportunity, and you shouldn't feel guilty or bad if you HAVE to take it. If there's another option, though, and you can make it financially, don't feel guilty or bad if you wait another year! They're only little once... two cents

06/10/2012 new
When Janna was a year old I went to work. She was two when we found the BEST daycare. When her father passed away, we started to recieve Social Security and I have been able to stay home with her. I am currently self employed, working from home and Janna goes to day care two days a week. We are waiting for her test results right now so I do not know how the summer is going to shape up.

When I went to work it took me awhile to find a great job. I do know that having a good job and the security of a paycheck is a really good thing and if you are happy your children will be happy. Having the benefits that you describe would take a lot of stress off of you. Never depend on Child support to be there. i worked in Human Resources for seven years, I have seen all kinds of crazy things.

I use Janna's money for a college and education fund. She also gets some extra things with her money, her supplements, copays and deductables for visits to Children's Hospital, and extra treats and toys when she has to get tests done.

I vote that you take the job. you never know what is going to happen in the future. Job security and benefits are things that will halp you care for your children. Trust your children and give them some responsibilities.
06/10/2012 new

Thank you everyone! I appreciate your insightfulness immensely! I'm going to go for it...I would rather be part time, but I just honestly feel like I do need the security. As much as my kids deserve to have me at beckon call, they also deserve a stable parent that can care for their basic needs. We will just need to value & make the best of the time we do have together!

06/11/2012 new

I wish you the best. Try to network with someone you trust who is also a parent. You could trade days that each of you watch one or two of each other's kids.
It is certainly not an easy road. Keep praying your way through it.

06/13/2012 new

Interview Friday...feeling kind of bummed about the whole thing but turning it over to God, knowing what needs to be done will be done with His help!

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