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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

08/10/2012 new

Thank you Elizabeth for your kind words.
Yes I too am a widow of 7 + years and have seen ups and downs in my life since then. Lately I have noticed that I am alone but that is ok at times. I made mistakes and some poor choices but I learned from those experiences. Right now, I am working full time and don't seem to have many recreational activities where I can meet others. One thing I learned is that a person cannot rush into any new relationship too quickly and assume too much. I believe that the gentlemen on this site are being cautious plus there are those who are not altogether honest either. I pray that we all meet others who have the same faith values that we have in our journey of life. Some of the joys I experienced after a layoff was a new puppy that makes us all laugh. Another blessing is that I can reconnect with my aging mother once or twice a year (she lives out of state and is 92) and have my one son home from Iraq safe and sound after 8 years of active military duty. He too will move on once school is completed. While my life is far from perfect, I am dealing with it day to day and am hoping to get more involved in new activities.
Karen

08/19/2012 new

(Quote) Karen-814518 said: Thank you Elizabeth for your kind words. Yes I too am a widow of 7 + years and have seen ups ...
(Quote) Karen-814518 said:

Thank you Elizabeth for your kind words.
Yes I too am a widow of 7 + years and have seen ups and downs in my life since then. Lately I have noticed that I am alone but that is ok at times. I made mistakes and some poor choices but I learned from those experiences. Right now, I am working full time and don't seem to have many recreational activities where I can meet others. One thing I learned is that a person cannot rush into any new relationship too quickly and assume too much. I believe that the gentlemen on this site are being cautious plus there are those who are not altogether honest either. I pray that we all meet others who have the same faith values that we have in our journey of life. Some of the joys I experienced after a layoff was a new puppy that makes us all laugh. Another blessing is that I can reconnect with my aging mother once or twice a year (she lives out of state and is 92) and have my one son home from Iraq safe and sound after 8 years of active military duty. He too will move on once school is completed. While my life is far from perfect, I am dealing with it day to day and am hoping to get more involved in new activities.
Karen

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Thank you for sharing your experience, Karen. Reading others stories and opinion has been the best part of CM for me. While I continue to pray and be hopeful that God's plan for the rest of my life includes marriage, I'm not convinced that my new other half is on CM. My faith though shaken by my husband's death has actually become stronger. It sounds like yours has, too. Keep posting, Karen. I feel like I have made friends here on CM and I am blessed by the discourse.


- Elizabeth

08/25/2012 new

I found it hard to attend mass the first few months after he died. However, my faith is stronger, yes but also offers a lot of solice. Good luck to you, Elizabeth.

08/25/2012 new

(Quote) Andrew-865848 said: I'm beginning to realize that there are a number of things that I put off or did not pursue ...
(Quote) Andrew-865848 said:

I'm beginning to realize that there are a number of things that I put off or did not pursue when I was married. I love to sail, but logistically, it was difficult when the kids were smaller, and going off for a week to sail and leave the family behind was something I just wasn't going to do--so we did family vacations, and I treasure every one of them (we did do one family sailing vacation, but it was very expensive; it was not something we could do regularly). But my last child is off to college in the fall, and I have realized that I can go sailing any time I can work out the time off from work. I'm even looking around for a small boat for local sailing.

And I have not been able to make pots since I started my business ten years ago, again family and spouse obligations just made it difficult, and my wife was ill for a long time. But I'm thinking about getting a wheel and a kiln and starting to throw again.

The big realization for me, that I'm still getting used to, is that I have much more free time. I'm still figuring out how to make good use of it.

--hide--

I think it's great that you are looking at taking up your hobbies again. After losing my spouse, I had to put my husky down a month later, then lost my job five months later. So when people asked me to host a church group or enter a craft show, my first response was "no way." But I did them anyway and it was fantastic. The church group gave me love and support and a place to talk about God's role in my life. The craft show gave me a sense of accomplishment in a way I never thought could happen again. It was something I'd always wanted to do and for someone who was distracted to the point of always burning the soup, it was a step in the right direction. I've since taken on two management positions that require a great amount of dedication and organization.

I don't have any free time and wish I had that balance. For now, taking care of my kids and my home take priority.

08/26/2012 new

Elizabeth,

We all bloom with the sunshine that comes from the grace of God. You are blooming well.

The bloom after the tragedy we have all been through - takes a while to come back - but, it does.

As for not making mistakes - I have asked God to lead me and he has. I ask him every morning to take my hand and lead me in the way he wants me to go. My humanness gets in the way sometimes and I have messed up. I have learned the little tap on the shoulder is God; the gut feeling is from God and I have learned to trust it. If it truly feels right then it is. If it feels wrong - even if you can't figure out why and you think it is your paranoia or insecurity - trust it anyway.

I have grown in my faith and as a person. I still don't always like some things about myself - but, I work at every day and do not let opportunities go by. Life is played out today. Not yesterday or tomorrow. Both of those are out of reach..............so the key is doing the things you are thinking about today.

Get out the pottery wheel. Go sailing. Call someone who is important to you. We only get today. I have wanted to camp for a long time. My husband had a large farm, kids to raise. Very difficult to get away. The kids are off doing their own thing. My wonderful Jack has been gone for 5 1/2 years. Yesterday I bought a camper. I would like someone to share this get away time but I will trust God will provide. I will meet some new people and make new friends. If it doesn't work out for whatever reason the way I think it will - I will sell it. We never get over the loss - the key is moving on.

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