Barbara, if I didn't know better, I'd swear you were my ex's secret "second wife" (that's an all-too common occurrence in his family, but no, he didn't have a second family--and no, they aren't Mormons; they're Catholics). Your ex sounds exactly like mine, and I made exactly the same mistake you did.
No one--man or woman--should ever enter a relationship with the goal to change anyone. It's only setting oneself up for misery, compounded daily. I thank God for every day I am free from that hell on earth.
I never expected to change him. I thought the change would come from within. Before we were married he said things that made me think that we had the same expectations of marriage and responsibility.
It is nice to know that I am not the only one that went through this just sorry that you had the same experience.
You know it's quite insulting to assume that I go out to the bar everynight and on the weekends too. It's almosty like you just called me an alcholic. And then to say that because I enjoy hunting and fishing I'll neglect my family? My dad liked to hunt and fish, you know what he did? He included the family, well on the fishing, had to wait to hunt until I was older. On top of that I'm not looking to leap right into Marriage. Yes I want to be married. But I don't want it to be next weekend. And I don't want it to be with someone that finds a good time sitting in front of the television. Just because your dad did those things and was a dirt bag, doesn't mean everyone who does those things is.
Your comments suggest that you aren't ready to settle down, nor is there a need for the insulting remarks directed at Donna. She was describing her personal situation, but didn't refer to her father as a "dirtbag". I think Richard's comments sum up the situation pretty well.
As far as sitting in front of the TV frequently, well, that doesn't have to be the case. There are many activities in which to participate without the presence of alcoholic beverages. If you seriously can't leave them alone, you might want to rethink your situation.