Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

Birthdays Mark Time

07/12/2012 new
Birthdays have a way of marking time for the survivor. Another birthday is coming and going without the person I thought I would be growing old with. The passing of time is creating big shifts in my heart. I am trying to decide where to live, what to do, and when to do it. I fall into my faith because I truly am paralyzed into inertia. All I know is that I am too young for my life to be over. I have thought about this. Does it mean that I didn't love Phil enough because I am lonely and because I would like to find the fairy tale again? No, it means that sense he loved me well and I loved him equally well for 23 years, I know what is missing in my life. I know what a comfortable companionship feels like. I do not need bells and whistles, but my heart is big and I want to share a life with someone again. Knowing that Phil wanted me to move on should something happen to him does help compel me, but I am wary now. I am nobody's option. At 51--okay in a few hours--I am not interested in changing who I am. I do not expect another person to change for me. Either I am enough, or I am not. It is that simple. I am not interested in a physical relationship until the rest of the relationship is established. The physical love is the easy part. I know that I am a hot tamale and what I am capable of, but the bottom line is this. I am not settling because I miss being touched. I am not settling because there are few options. I am not selling myself short. I know what is important to me. I would expect any man my age to know who he is and what is important to him. All in or all out. I may be alone for the rest of my days. If I am, that is okay, too. I know that God will provide if that is what I have left. All I know is that I cannot ignore the holy wind tearing through the holes of my heart. Too much has happened recently for me to ignore the path laid before me. My first book, Courageously Alive-Walking Through Military Loss, is about to be published. Jobs are within my reach to get back to the states. I see the promises. I feel the sparks of hope flitting across the buffeting waves. I feel a new dawn beginning. I really do. My birthday has reminded me of what I have lost. I lost the dream of my future and I lost the connections to my past. I lost the best friend I ran to for safe mooring. I lose the laughter and hope I carried, however, birthdays bring sparkles and a future. Birthdays bring dreams and new hopes. I will scrunch my eyes shut, take a deep breath, and I will wait. Yes, another year is marked, but another year is beginning. 51, you are here. I am ready to see where God is going to take me.
07/13/2012 new

(Quote) Linda-756196 said: Birthdays have a way of marking time for the survivor. Another birthday is coming and going without the ...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: Birthdays have a way of marking time for the survivor. Another birthday is coming and going without the person I thought I would be growing old with. The passing of time is creating big shifts in my heart. I am trying to decide where to live, what to do, and when to do it. I fall into my faith because I truly am paralyzed into inertia. All I know is that I am too young for my life to be over. I have thought about this. Does it mean that I didn't love Phil enough because I am lonely and because I would like to find the fairy tale again? No, it means that sense he loved me well and I loved him equally well for 23 years, I know what is missing in my life. I know what a comfortable companionship feels like. I do not need bells and whistles, but my heart is big and I want to share a life with someone again. Knowing that Phil wanted me to move on should something happen to him does help compel me, but I am wary now. I am nobody's option. At 51--okay in a few hours--I am not interested in changing who I am. I do not expect another person to change for me. Either I am enough, or I am not. It is that simple. I am not interested in a physical relationship until the rest of the relationship is established. The physical love is the easy part. I know that I am a hot tamale and what I am capable of, but the bottom line is this. I am not settling because I miss being touched. I am not settling because there are few options. I am not selling myself short. I know what is important to me. I would expect any man my age to know who he is and what is important to him. All in or all out. I may be alone for the rest of my days. If I am, that is okay, too. I know that God will provide if that is what I have left. All I know is that I cannot ignore the holy wind tearing through the holes of my heart. Too much has happened recently for me to ignore the path laid before me. My first book, Courageously Alive-Walking Through Military Loss, is about to be published. Jobs are within my reach to get back to the states. I see the promises. I feel the sparks of hope flitting across the buffeting waves. I feel a new dawn beginning. I really do. My birthday has reminded me of what I have lost. I lost the dream of my future and I lost the connections to my past. I lost the best friend I ran to for safe mooring. I lose the laughter and hope I carried, however, birthdays bring sparkles and a future. Birthdays bring dreams and new hopes. I will scrunch my eyes shut, take a deep breath, and I will wait. Yes, another year is marked, but another year is beginning. 51, you are here. I am ready to see where God is going to take me.
--hide--
We need to pause for a moment to wish you a Happy and Blessed Birthday. I know it's a difficult day for you, but I hope you will derive some joy on this special occasion.

You are here -- and it's for a reason. Another birthday, a meaningful day for you, even though it's not all peaches and cream (or ice cream and cake, although that can be part of it). It's a day to be thankful for the blessings you have -- you're still living, and capable of reaching others through your writings and upcoming book. It's a day to reflect on the impact all this has and will have on others. Obviously the Good Lord still needs you to be here on earth to heed His calling. You have a purpose -- a mission if you will -- and it's up to you to fulfill that purpose.

You're still seem to be at a "one day at a time" stage, which isn't a bad idea for anybody. So, use this "one day" to enjoy the fact that you have a life to lead, even though it's not the one you envisioned a year ago. Progress can seem painfully slow, but when you compare where you were mentally, spiritually and emotionally a year ago, you'll see quite a difference.

That difference spells hope.

07/13/2012 new
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: Birthdays have a way of marking time for the survivor. Another birthday is coming and going without the person I t...
(Quote) Linda-756196 said: Birthdays have a way of marking time for the survivor. Another birthday is coming and going without the person I thought I would be growing old with. The passing of time is creating big shifts in my heart. I am trying to decide where to live, what to do, and when to do it. I fall into my faith because I truly am paralyzed into inertia. All I know is that I am too young for my life to be over.

I have thought about this. Does it mean that I didn't love Phil enough because I am lonely and because I would like to find the fairy tale again? No, it means that sense he loved me well and I loved him equally well for 23 years, I know what is missing in my life. I know what a comfortable companionship feels like. I do not need bells and whistles, but my heart is big and I want to share a life with someone again. Knowing that Phil wanted me to move on should something happen to him does help compel me, but I am wary now.

I am nobody's option. At 51--okay in a few hours--I am not interested in changing who I am. I do not expect another person to change for me. Either I am enough, or I am not. It is that simple. I am not interested in a physical relationship until the rest of the relationship is established. The physical love is the easy part. I know that I am a hot tamale and what I am capable of, but the bottom line is this. I am not settling because I miss being touched. I am not settling because there are few options. I am not selling myself short. I know what is important to me. I would expect any man my age to know who he is and what is important to him. All in or all out.

I may be alone for the rest of my days. If I am, that is okay, too. I know that God will provide if that is what I have left. All I know is that I cannot ignore the holy wind tearing through the holes of my heart. Too much has happened recently for me to ignore the path laid before me. My first book, Courageously Alive-Walking Through Military Loss, is about to be published. Jobs are within my reach to get back to the states. I see the promises. I feel the sparks of hope flitting across the buffeting waves. I feel a new dawn beginning. I really do.

My birthday has reminded me of what I have lost. I lost the dream of my future and I lost the connections to my past. I lost the best friend I ran to for safe mooring. I lose the laughter and hope I carried, however, birthdays bring sparkles and a future. Birthdays bring dreams and new hopes. I will scrunch my eyes shut, take a deep breath, and I will wait. Yes, another year is marked, but another year is beginning. 51, you are here. I am ready to see where God is going to take me.
--hide--


A blessed birthday to you Linda. I relate to everything you've articulated. We are the same age, turning 51 in a few months, have loved for almost as long (25 years for me before he passed). September is a difficult month for me because so many reminders, Sept. 2 was when we were married, Sept. 3 is Fernando's birthday, followed by mine on Sept. 4. He passed away on Sept. 17. It is a month I would rather forget and just have it pass me by quickly.

I am so grateful that I am surrounded by friends who are always there to support me. I don't ever intend to be anyone's option, but rather, somene's priority.

Although I get lonely at times, I am just taking life in stride. What will be, will be. If I find another love in the interim, what a wonderful thing that would be. If not, then I will look forward to the day I am reunited with my loved ones.

Blessings and hugs to you. I hope you were able to pass the day with some laughter and joy. lovestruck!
07/13/2012 new
(Quote) Lilibeth-865123 said: A blessed birthday to you Linda. I relate to everything you've articulated. We are the same age, ...
(Quote) Lilibeth-865123 said:

A blessed birthday to you Linda. I relate to everything you've articulated. We are the same age, turning 51 in a few months, have loved for almost as long (25 years for me before he passed). September is a difficult month for me because so many reminders, Sept. 2 was when we were married, Sept. 3 is Fernando's birthday, followed by mine on Sept. 4. He passed away on Sept. 17. It is a month I would rather forget and just have it pass me by quickly.

I am so grateful that I am surrounded by friends who are always there to support me. I don't ever intend to be anyone's option, but rather, somene's priority.

Although I get lonely at times, I am just taking life in stride. What will be, will be. If I find another love in the interim, what a wonderful thing that would be. If not, then I will look forward to the day I am reunited with my loved ones.

Blessings and hugs to you. I hope you were able to pass the day with some laughter and joy.
--hide--
Thank you. I see God's hand working. I have talked more aboput my faith in the last year than I have my entire life. People listen now. It is humbling. I will stand with you in September. XXOO
Posts 1 - 4 of 4