(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Ok I just went to a wedding last week and another the week before and saw a few things. Things I never th...
(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Ok I just went to a wedding last week and another the week before and saw a few things. Things I never thought about before but now am wondering.
1. The bride walked herself down the aisle and didn't wear a veil. Granted she was married before (widowed) but if it's a first time bride does she have to wear a veil? does she have to wear a veil covering her face called a blusher? Does she have to have someone walking her down the aisle? As I understand it the bride walking with her dad started as a Protestant thing. Also, as an aside I think it is wonderful the ceremony doesn't include obey, though many churches are getting rid of it(as they should).
2. Another bride (first marriage)and her groom put flowers on the Virgin Mary. I understand this is common? My mom said she did it.
3. The second bride did the garter toss at the wedding. I never gave this much though but isn't it kind of sinful because it sort of implies certain things?
There's other things I was curious about but these are the ones upfront.
I had to read up on all this stuff because of my role as liturgy coordinator:
Veils are not required for any wedding. It is an ancient custom. And was bad in the Bible---Leah was hidden so the wrong bride went down the aisle. Most churches prefer that both parents escort the bride, if any. . . and the "giving away" is definitely Protestant AND from the 20th century forward (not practiced as commonly until the 1970s). Brides, however, often wear long veils now (and are permitted, in some cases) to meet the "covered shoulders" requirement of many diocesan or local parish policies. Our diocese is liberal as weddings are allowed in Lent and Advent (lower-key), and the bride and bridesmaids can be strapless without a wrap, stole, covering, or netting (a la the red dress in Gone With the Wind).
The offering of a gift to the Virgin Mary replaces the place and time for the Unity Candle in most Catholic weddings. I'm not a fan of those at the wedding proper, and don't believe that most liturgies originally included them, but it is up to diocesan and local policy. Ours frowns upon, but doesn't forbid Unity Candles. Our diocese does not comment on the offering other than it is a tradition that is not part of the liturgy. Usually, when the song is sung, the couple goes and hugs each set of parents, and then places the flowers. . .
The garter toss is originally what happened at weddings instead of the bouquet. It originated in the 1500s in Europe and had French influence. It was considered lucky to have pieces of the bride's clothing, and to dissuade people from tearing apart or unlacing pieces (sleeves and over skirts, among other pieces, usually all laced together) the bride started distributing articles including her bouquet and garters. There is a custom in the UK to throw the stocking. The removal of the garter, by the groom, indicated in earlier times, (as he had to place his hand on the bride's leg) a relinquishing of her body and virginity, publicly. However, in Europe in the Middle Ages, the couple were often accompanied to their curtained bed by guests who would often take part in disrobing the couple! Groomsmen would draw aside the curtains and attempt to land a stocking on the nose or forehead of the groom and was to be lucky to do so. This was also objectionable to couples. The practice of throwing the bouquet, the stocking, or the garter were developed as public ways of sharing luck WITHOUT invading privacy or personal space.
However, keep in mind that the garter removal by a groom was not risque until the 1930s. Most women wore "leg band" garters, that looked like men's sock garters, without clips. The stocking was rolled to a point barely above the hem of a dress and fastened around with elastic or rubber band to hold it up. In a longer dress (prior to 1920s), the stockings were probably at or below the knee. . . Women didn't regularly use and wear gartered stockings the way we think of, until the 30s, except for burlesque shows and dance hall girls. Although they were available, most women rolled their hose around their knee (think Mama Thelma) but above their hem. This is a reception custom in the USA now; the bride's bouqet means the girl will be married next, and the bride's garter means the man will be married next (although originally it was just to be lucky; given as a gift to his intended allegedly assured the fidelity of his sweetheart).