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07/29/2012 new
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said: Actually that is not correcct. It's the BLUSHER that the 2nd time brides...
(Quote) Lorrie-735074 said:





Actually that is not correcct. It's the BLUSHER that the 2nd time brides are not supposed to wear. The blusher over the face dennoted virginity in ancient times but let's really look at this....does every sincerely think that's the case? I mean wear it if you want. I worked as a bridal consultant at a dress shop so I know the traditions. No one believe all that silly supersition any longer. We are Christians, if you want to wear a veil, wear a veil. I wore one at my 2nd wedding, totally plan on wearing one at my third, although I'm thinking a mantilla veil--a larger version of what women wear for Latin Mass--think that would be gorgeous.





Lorrie

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I rarely see the blusher anymore at weddings and am mixed on that myself. I don't know if I'll wear a blusher. I remember in the 80s older brides were being told they should wear hats because veils were only supposed to be for younger brides. I disagree with this.
07/31/2012 new

(Quote) Marissa-529206 said: That is very nice, but I would be to embarrassed to do that. I may be outgoing when...
(Quote) Marissa-529206 said:




That is very nice, but I would be to embarrassed to do that. I may be outgoing when it comes to stating my beliefs, but I don't like to be the center of attention unless it is something that MUST be. I know at my wedding I'm going to be soooooo nervous. I'll be lucky if I get the vows right.....if no one stopped me from walking, I would probably just keep walking hahahaha..

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You can just do a private ceremony. A friend of mine did one with basically just family. I know she had a get-together afterwards at a restaurant, and she invited some colleague friends and her bosses. She hates attention, and even though she is the only daughter, her mother knew this was her choice. In fact, she bought her dress from Dillards online because she didn't want it to be a crazy ordeal looking for a dress and spending exorbitant amounts of money. I know the dress was under $100. :)

07/31/2012 new

(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Ok I just went to a wedding last week and another the week before and saw a few things. Things I never th...
(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Ok I just went to a wedding last week and another the week before and saw a few things. Things I never thought about before but now am wondering.

1. The bride walked herself down the aisle and didn't wear a veil. Granted she was married before (widowed) but if it's a first time bride does she have to wear a veil? does she have to wear a veil covering her face called a blusher? Does she have to have someone walking her down the aisle? As I understand it the bride walking with her dad started as a Protestant thing. Also, as an aside I think it is wonderful the ceremony doesn't include obey, though many churches are getting rid of it(as they should).

2. Another bride (first marriage)and her groom put flowers on the Virgin Mary. I understand this is common? My mom said she did it.

3. The second bride did the garter toss at the wedding. I never gave this much though but isn't it kind of sinful because it sort of implies certain things?

There's other things I was curious about but these are the ones upfront.
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There were several mentions of modest gowns. I found some neat links for modest dresses. Thought you might like to browse.

www.beautifullymodest.com

latterdaybride.com

www.totallymodest.com

Have fun! heart

07/31/2012 new
(Quote) Tara-539245 said: You can just do a private ceremony. A friend of mine did one with basicall...
(Quote) Tara-539245 said:






You can just do a private ceremony. A friend of mine did one with basically just family. I know she had a get-together afterwards at a restaurant, and she invited some colleague friends and her bosses. She hates attention, and even though she is the only daughter, her mother knew this was her choice. In fact, she bought her dress from Dillards online because she didn't want it to be a crazy ordeal looking for a dress and spending exorbitant amounts of money. I know the dress was under $100. :)

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I know someone who bought a white dress and had it fixed to look like a wedding gown. She saved a lot of money doing this and yes she had a train too attached. I've considered this myself because my mom is fantastic at sewing and maybe she could help make a dress. My sister in law did something I will do when I marry and that is let all of the bridesmaids pick our own dresses as long as they were dark blue. Sure we didn't wear the exact same style but I have a dress I can and have worn to parties.
07/31/2012 new
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: There were several mentions of modest gowns. I found some neat links for modest dresses. Thought yo...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:



There were several mentions of modest gowns. I found some neat links for modest dresses. Thought you might like to browse.

www.beautifullymodest.com

latterdaybride.com

www.totallymodest.com

Have fun!

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Thanks for the links. I am glad there are alternatives out there for more modest brides.
07/31/2012 new

(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: I know someone who bought a white dress and had it fixed to look like a wedding gown. She saved a...
(Quote) Dawn-758914 said:

I know someone who bought a white dress and had it fixed to look like a wedding gown. She saved a lot of money doing this and yes she had a train too attached. I've considered this myself because my mom is fantastic at sewing and maybe she could help make a dress. My sister in law did something I will do when I marry and that is let all of the bridesmaids pick our own dresses as long as they were dark blue. Sure we didn't wear the exact same style but I have a dress I can and have worn to parties.
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Good idea! I guess it works both ways. My niece (I think at age 14) started wearing wedding dresses as maid's dresses for Mardi Gras stuff. I know the dresses usually are around $800. Her mom jokes that she better still fit in on of the dresses for her wedding... lol I personally think the costs are ridiculous, though the dresses have been beautiful. I know one came with a train because my niece was telling me how she cried when they cut the train off.

07/31/2012 new

(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Thanks for the links. I am glad there are alternatives out there for more modest brides.
(Quote) Dawn-758914 said:

Thanks for the links. I am glad there are alternatives out there for more modest brides.
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Not a problem. The nice part. If your mother is a seamstress, many of these styles are very simple. I'm not that good. I do a great straight stitch. LOL...someday, when I retire, I have promised myself several classes for FUN!

08/01/2012 new

(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Ok I just went to a wedding last week and another the week before and saw a few things. Things I never th...
(Quote) Dawn-758914 said: Ok I just went to a wedding last week and another the week before and saw a few things. Things I never thought about before but now am wondering.

1. The bride walked herself down the aisle and didn't wear a veil. Granted she was married before (widowed) but if it's a first time bride does she have to wear a veil? does she have to wear a veil covering her face called a blusher? Does she have to have someone walking her down the aisle? As I understand it the bride walking with her dad started as a Protestant thing. Also, as an aside I think it is wonderful the ceremony doesn't include obey, though many churches are getting rid of it(as they should).

2. Another bride (first marriage)and her groom put flowers on the Virgin Mary. I understand this is common? My mom said she did it.

3. The second bride did the garter toss at the wedding. I never gave this much though but isn't it kind of sinful because it sort of implies certain things?

There's other things I was curious about but these are the ones upfront.
--hide--



I had to read up on all this stuff because of my role as liturgy coordinator:

Veils are not required for any wedding. It is an ancient custom. And was bad in the Bible---Leah was hidden so the wrong bride went down the aisle. Most churches prefer that both parents escort the bride, if any. . . and the "giving away" is definitely Protestant AND from the 20th century forward (not practiced as commonly until the 1970s). Brides, however, often wear long veils now (and are permitted, in some cases) to meet the "covered shoulders" requirement of many diocesan or local parish policies. Our diocese is liberal as weddings are allowed in Lent and Advent (lower-key), and the bride and bridesmaids can be strapless without a wrap, stole, covering, or netting (a la the red dress in Gone With the Wind).


The offering of a gift to the Virgin Mary replaces the place and time for the Unity Candle in most Catholic weddings. I'm not a fan of those at the wedding proper, and don't believe that most liturgies originally included them, but it is up to diocesan and local policy. Ours frowns upon, but doesn't forbid Unity Candles. Our diocese does not comment on the offering other than it is a tradition that is not part of the liturgy. Usually, when the song is sung, the couple goes and hugs each set of parents, and then places the flowers. . .


The garter toss is originally what happened at weddings instead of the bouquet. It originated in the 1500s in Europe and had French influence. It was considered lucky to have pieces of the bride's clothing, and to dissuade people from tearing apart or unlacing pieces (sleeves and over skirts, among other pieces, usually all laced together) the bride started distributing articles including her bouquet and garters. There is a custom in the UK to throw the stocking. The removal of the garter, by the groom, indicated in earlier times, (as he had to place his hand on the bride's leg) a relinquishing of her body and virginity, publicly. However, in Europe in the Middle Ages, the couple were often accompanied to their curtained bed by guests who would often take part in disrobing the couple! Groomsmen would draw aside the curtains and attempt to land a stocking on the nose or forehead of the groom and was to be lucky to do so. This was also objectionable to couples. The practice of throwing the bouquet, the stocking, or the garter were developed as public ways of sharing luck WITHOUT invading privacy or personal space.

However, keep in mind that the garter removal by a groom was not risque until the 1930s. Most women wore "leg band" garters, that looked like men's sock garters, without clips. The stocking was rolled to a point barely above the hem of a dress and fastened around with elastic or rubber band to hold it up. In a longer dress (prior to 1920s), the stockings were probably at or below the knee. . . Women didn't regularly use and wear gartered stockings the way we think of, until the 30s, except for burlesque shows and dance hall girls. Although they were available, most women rolled their hose around their knee (think Mama Thelma) but above their hem. This is a reception custom in the USA now; the bride's bouqet means the girl will be married next, and the bride's garter means the man will be married next (although originally it was just to be lucky; given as a gift to his intended allegedly assured the fidelity of his sweetheart).

08/08/2012 new

(Quote) Marissa-529206 said: Alot of the traditions have meanings, but are different for each culture. The veil for the brid...
(Quote) Marissa-529206 said:

Alot of the traditions have meanings, but are different for each culture. The veil for the bride has been switched to represent the modesty and purity of Mary. The flowers have ALWAYS meant that.

People used to be married in black....black used to be the colour for festivals. Until Queen Victoria. Now white is seen as the celebratory colours. So people didn't really wear white because it was connected with funerals.

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In my day, no self respecting Bride would ever neglect to take a Bouquet and place it on Mary's Altar. I served as an Alter Boy at hundreds of weddings at it heppened 100% of the time. And no self respectinggroom would every take an active part in that. It was strictly something for the bride bringing herself to her Heavenly Mother and deedicating herself to be like Mary in her own marriage

Today, of course, so called churches are built without an altar dedicated to Mary. What can you expect since they have banished the tabernacle to a hidden Adoration chapel somewhere else in the building. Many older Churches have had Mary's altar removed as well. My parish has a sweet statue of a girl instead of a Mary Altar. I presume it is the Blessed Virgin because right beside it is a small picture of Our Lady of Guadalupe. But it would not look out of place as a garden statue of some mythical forest nymph.

It used to be when change came about, the best of the hold was retained and the new added. The 60's and 70's generation, both in church as well as civilian life, just threw all the old and indisciminatly brought in the new whether it had any meaning, just so it was different.

08/10/2012 new
(Quote) Marissa-529206 said: Alot of wedding traditions are not Catholic in this country. I prefer the bride and groom walking behind the...
(Quote) Marissa-529206 said:

Alot of wedding traditions are not Catholic in this country. I prefer the bride and groom walking behind the priest together to be married. They are coming together and following the priest and their respective parents and bridesmaids and groomsmen. So the attendants go first, then grandparents, then parents, then the altar servers the priest and the couple. But this would be for a formal mass. The idea of the bride being "brought" to the groom is actually discouraged in the church but allowed for Americans out of tradition. However, they won't allow the priest to say "who brings this woman to be married" like in protestant services. Instead the priest says...."Do you come together to be married of your own free will?"

One thing they are getting rid of is the unity candle. I'm happy about this because I like my symbols to have a somewhat deeper meaning.....and how more united can you get than sharing the eucharist? Since Protestants don't have the eucharist, they have the unity candle. I don't like symbols that are overly sentimental. I suppose because I don't believe in love as being a warm and squishy feeling....it is much deeper. I once went to a wedding that played Disney's "A whole new world".....I thought to myself that if that song discribes what they believe marriage to be? They are in deep trouble. So many symbols today I see as coming from very shallow thoughts. And I think that reflects the relationships within the family. I don't like people being put on display, I don't like emotions being put on display. I know that the kiss in America is totally traditional. But my parents didn't do it and I won't. The feelings shared between my spouse and I should not be put on display so everyone can clap. Also the Mass is meant to be shared with everyone.....I feel the kiss is a private moment....and in a wedding....it is a public ceremony meant to be shared. I suppose this is just me.


About giving the bouquet to Mary. I think this is a German tradition. It is very common around here. I plan to do that. And it's an important gift to give Mary. Because brides love their bouquet, brides often keep their bouquet. So to give it up in thanks to Mary truly is a beautiful sacrifice.

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Never been married before, but was in many weddings.

Thanks for mentioning about the couple walking together behind the priest. At this point I'm thinking I will never be a bride, but if by a miracle it does happen that I would meet someone again that I want to marry, and vice-versa, would want to walk behind the priest to the altar. I do like some symbolism in weddings, but not necessarily the ones that are overdone. Have never seen that done at a wedding... the couple walking down the isle behind the priest. If I had of, I would have remembered it.
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