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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

07/22/2012 new

Gone on a date

07/22/2012 new

(Quote) Sherrill-anne-13557 said: Gone on a date
(Quote) Sherrill-anne-13557 said:

Gone on a date

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That's probably the biggest leap of all, Sherill-Anne!

07/23/2012 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: I've been under the house to fix a leaking pipe...fixed one under the sink...traveled out...
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said:

I've been under the house to fix a leaking pipe...fixed one under the sink...traveled out-of-state and out of the country by myself. Stayed at work late at night and didn't call the local police to watch me go to my car (my husband always insisted that I have the police "watch" me to my car). Driven home from dinner with a friend after midnight. bought a house all by myself.


Wow. I'm impressed with myself. Wouldn't have thought I could do it. Great question!

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Oddly enough, I left out the most important and most difficult thing I have done since I have been a widow...stay in my house alone...the nights have been the worse. At first I was so afraid of being alone at night that I couldn't sleep. Of course, the grief was horrible. But the fear of being in the house alone was the worst. It makes no sense now. David was sick for a while and could not have done much if an intruder came in. But I just did not worry about intruders when he was alive. I always felt protected when he was with me.


After David died, I got a permit to carry a gun for those nights I was driving alone and had mace in my office. The obsession with the fear of no longer having the protection of my husband was overwhelming. These days I just act like I am not afraid (you know mind over matter) and so far after 5 1/2 years no attacker has shown up. For some strange reason, I keep my bedroom door closed at night. (as if that would make a difference) And, I've chosen to live well off the beaten trail so I can live on the bluff in the mountains. I've always felt closer to God in the woods, so I guess I swapped the safety of suburbia for the serenity of my mountain. Truly, I think I have just given up. If the intruder comes...well I will have to just deal with it. Still, staying in the house alone especially at night is the worst thing I have had to do since I have been a widow.

07/23/2012 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: (Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: I've been under the house to fix a ...
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said:

Quote:
Elizabeth-462557 said:

I've been under the house to fix a leaking pipe...fixed one under the sink...traveled out-of-state and out of the country by myself. Stayed at work late at night and didn't call the local police to watch me go to my car (my husband always insisted that I have the police "watch" me to my car). Driven home from dinner with a friend after midnight. bought a house all by myself.


Wow. I'm impressed with myself. Wouldn't have thought I could do it. Great question!



Oddly enough, I left out the most important and most difficult thing I have done since I have been a widow...stay in my house alone...the nights have been the worse. At first I was so afraid of being alone at night that I couldn't sleep. Of course, the grief was horrible. But the fear of being in the house alone was the worst. It makes no sense now. David was sick for a while and could not have done much if an intruder came in. But I just did not worry about intruders when he was alive. I always felt protected when he was with me.


After David died, I got a permit to carry a gun for those nights I was driving alone and had mace in my office. The obsession with the fear of no longer having the protection of my husband was overwhelming. These days I just act like I am not afraid (you know mind over matter) and so far after 5 1/2 years no attacker has shown up. For some strange reason, I keep my bedroom door closed at night. (as if that would make a difference) And, I've chosen to live well off the beaten trail so I can live on the bluff in the mountains. I've always felt closer to God in the woods, so I guess I swapped the safety of suburbia for the serenity of my mountain. Truly, I think I have just given up. If the intruder comes...well I will have to just deal with it. Still, staying in the house alone especially at night is the worst thing I have had to do since I have been a widow.

--hide--

theheart Moved 4 or 5 times and also physically moving my furniture by myself and driving the uhaul van to other states. Maintenence on my vehicles. Painting the outside of my home. Comforting myself when needed. Finding myself and other like faithful.
Camping out in the woods for 3 months with my 2 cats.
rosary probably more

07/23/2012 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: Oddly enough, I left out the most important and most difficult thing I have done...
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said:


Oddly enough, I left out the most important and most difficult thing I have done since I have been a widow...stay in my house alone...the nights have been the worse. At first I was so afraid of being alone at night that I couldn't sleep. Of course, the grief was horrible. But the fear of being in the house alone was the worst. It makes no sense now. David was sick for a while and could not have done much if an intruder came in. But I just did not worry about intruders when he was alive. I always felt protected when he was with me.


After David died, I got a permit to carry a gun for those nights I was driving alone and had mace in my office. The obsession with the fear of no longer having the protection of my husband was overwhelming. These days I just act like I am not afraid (you know mind over matter) and so far after 5 1/2 years no attacker has shown up. For some strange reason, I keep my bedroom door closed at night. (as if that would make a difference) And, I've chosen to live well off the beaten trail so I can live on the bluff in the mountains. I've always felt closer to God in the woods, so I guess I swapped the safety of suburbia for the serenity of my mountain. Truly, I think I have just given up. If the intruder comes...well I will have to just deal with it. Still, staying in the house alone especially at night is the worst thing I have had to do since I have been a widow.


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theheart Good for you Elizabeth!

so, why is it that we are looking for a husband?.....................theheart sorry just a joke I could not help myselfrosary

07/23/2012 new

theheart

Hey with all this woman power through our Lord , think of what we could accomplish if we all banded together?!!!!


I bit we could take all our talents and willpower and have a building built to provide children and teens in foster care who have no parents homes and we could all manage it!


rosary Bit we could do it

07/23/2012 new

you ladies are awesome

07/23/2012 new

(Quote) Sandra-471894 said: Hey with all this woman power through our Lord , think of what we could accomplish if we...
(Quote) Sandra-471894 said:



Hey with all this woman power through our Lord , think of what we could accomplish if we all banded together?!!!!


I bit we could take all our talents and willpower and have a building built to provide children and teens in foster care who have no parents homes and we could all manage it!


Bit we could do it

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Love this idea, Sandra! I've got experience pulling out carpet and interior painting. I can also build a patio and wood shelving units as well as yard maintenance. I don't do windows, though. That was my husband's specialty!

07/23/2012 new

I am a people person. I do require alone time, but a spate of time in my own home suffices. I have never ever lived on my own-not even in a dorm! Growing up in a city, I commuted from my family's apartment to obtain my degree. I married at 21 from that same home. 15 years later, folowing my annullment, I was alone, but I had three sons by then, and I was blessed to meet and marry my second husband...He died in our 20th year of marriage. So I have never had a "single life", and I have arrived here in middle widowhood with children. Needless to say, after his death it was terrifying to be solo...after 35 total years in married life, and 21 years in my family home...


But...on the third anniversary of his death...I was determined to make a date and meet my God in a beautiful and silent place...to face my fear of aloneness, and to begin to find my original self...under all the habit and pattern...to step out...with the help of the Holy Spirit, and reclaim my individual heart...The two had become one...and I was feeling like only a "half" not a whole person...So I was given an opportunity...I travelled and stayed solo in an isolated, remote beach house... to heal, to write, and to pray...from my inner core. The house was well-appointed for creature comfort and had sophisticated surveillance...but the total blackness far from all light...my goodness...and I have never seen the number of stars as I did those two nights! I have never heard the nuances in the slaps of the waves and the changes in the breezes all night long...The aloneness was so total ...and the nearess of God so profound that I think it drove fear out of me...and I came away...a bit shaken by the intensity...but much much stronger...with God's grace. I believe as I hid "in the cleft of the rock, God covered" me. It was major, and I would never have believed it was possible for me to accomplish! God is good! theheart

07/23/2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: That's probably the biggest leap of all, Sherill-Anne!
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:



That's probably the biggest leap of all, Sherill-Anne!

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Yeah it was.Just the thought of being interested in someone else seemed strange and foreign at first.

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