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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Aug 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: It was within a year, but they weren't a typical LDR..
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


It was within a year, but they weren't a typical LDR..

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They met on CM, fell in heart and celebrated a Catholic wedding. What's not typical?? wink

Aug 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Now you've got the point of my topic!!
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Now you've got the point of my topic!!

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Well, I'm waiting .... until at least date three!
Need to give him time to have the ring sized... cool

Aug 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: They are all still married.. I know them on FB... All the couples I have been persona...
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:


They are all still married.. I know them on FB... All the couples I have been personally acquainted with that have gotten married from CM are still married. I have heard about a couple of people who met on CM and then divorced..But I was not personally acquainted with them or their stories..

I deliberately did not say anything about civil vs sacramental marriage because that is not the point of my thread.. The point is the decision to marry someone you've only met in person once or twice.. Do you think that distance is the factor to marry quickly? However it is accomplished, civil or sacramental?

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Donna, that's a very interesting point that the impetus to marry quickly may be the long distance factor. You might be right about that. Do you know of any quick marriages between people who lived within say 1-2 hour drive of each other? Whereas there is no real urgency to commit/get married to someone who lives nearby as you can more likely continue seeing them on a regular basis, in an LDR I think there is a felt need to see fairly quickly (although maybe not as quickly as your examples) to determine if both people are willing to commit fairly early on (due to the time/energy/cost of 1 or both parties going back and forth) - especially if both are working. Even if one or both are retired, I think there is an interest on both parties to determine (say within 4-10 months of meeting) to either move forward or end the relationship. I was in an LDR in 2003-04. We met end of July, 2003. By end of December, I was ready to move forward, but he wasn't. I continued the relationship until about May I think and then stopped seeing him (he wanted to "live together" rather than get married, even though he was a supposedly devout Catholic). I did see him him once again in the fall of 2004 to more officially end the relationship. So, really it took me about 5 months to know where I wanted the relationship to go. And, I actually really enjoyed being in an LDR, but I was able to spend substantial amounts of time with him (as I could also now since I'm retired). I felt that I really got to know him better than I have gotten to know people I dated who lived nearby (just going out to dinner/movie/etc. on weekends for a long time). I'm a fan of LDR's!

Aug 12th 2012 new

Pat and Dan's story in a nutshell..


I'm finding this difficult to answer. "The one" is a hang up for me. I truly believe that, at this stage of life, love is a choice. When I say that, I don't want people to think that we settled and took the first available prospect.
Dan was determined to be married. His CM interactions were focused on finding someone matching his level of faith and commitment to family. He had no desire to sample all the candy in the jar or spend loads of time chatting and phoning. He was ready, willing and able to travel. He nearly went to Arizona to meet someone. He had some local dates but no developing interests.

We met in the CM Rosary group praying a 54 day Rosary novena. A general shout out to all of CM posters yielded several women and 1 male, Dan.

Our time line:
August-September, 2005 (Katrina and the failed levees occurred at this time, I deployed to Louisiana with the Red Cross) Rosary group
October 21-24 F2F - he drove to Kentucky from the Detroit area; declared his honorable intentions on the 24th
November 10-12 F2F he again drove to Kentucky to provide moral support as I closed the sale of my dream home and moved out of it
November 25-29 I introduced him to my mother and some of my siblings; Dan stated we needed to shop for a ring
December 1-7 another F2F and just before he left on the 7th he proposed.
March 9, 2006 - Dan moved to Louisville; civil wedding planned for 031706 but he had a relapse of CIDP and was hospitalized for 10 days including the 17th
April 16 - civil marriage
March 17, 2007 - married in the Catholic church which is the anniversary we celebrate

Dan claims he knew I was "the one" with the first F2F. I think I knew at the second F2F.



Aug 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Donna-83441 said: Pat and Dan's story in a nutshell.. I'm finding this difficult to answer....
(Quote) Donna-83441 said:

Pat and Dan's story in a nutshell..


I'm finding this difficult to answer. "The one" is a hang up for me. I truly believe that, at this stage of life, love is a choice. When I say that, I don't want people to think that we settled and took the first available prospect.
Dan was determined to be married. His CM interactions were focused on finding someone matching his level of faith and commitment to family. He had no desire to sample all the candy in the jar or spend loads of time chatting and phoning. He was ready, willing and able to travel. He nearly went to Arizona to meet someone. He had some local dates but no developing interests.

We met in the CM Rosary group praying a 54 day Rosary novena. A general shout out to all of CM posters yielded several women and 1 male, Dan.

Our time line:
August-September, 2005 (Katrina and the failed levees occurred at this time, I deployed to Louisiana with the Red Cross) Rosary group
October 21-24 F2F - he drove to Kentucky from the Detroit area; declared his honorable intentions on the 24th
November 10-12 F2F he again drove to Kentucky to provide moral support as I closed the sale of my dream home and moved out of it
November 25-29 I introduced him to my mother and some of my siblings; Dan stated we needed to shop for a ring
December 1-7 another F2F and just before he left on the 7th he proposed.
March 9, 2006 - Dan moved to Louisville; civil wedding planned for 031706 but he had a relapse of CIDP and was hospitalized for 10 days including the 17th
April 16 - civil marriage
March 17, 2007 - married in the Catholic church which is the anniversary we celebrate

Dan claims he knew I was "the one" with the first F2F. I think I knew at the second F2F.



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We were several in that rosary group... its what I looked forward to every evening during the first days of evacuating from New Orleans, but I don't recall that Dan was the only man in the group.

During Pat's time in Louisiana with the Red Cross we met and had a wonderful day. I was so sad that I wasn't able to attend their wedding.

Aug 12th 2012 new
I think this topic has mixed feelings for me. On one hand I think it's wonderful to hear all the success stories. However the fast reactions seem like bad vibes for me. I hope all the marriages work out and they are all happy but I just think a 1st or second f2f is way too soon for me. I'd want to date someone for 6 months or so before engagement then get married 6months to a year after that. I know way too divorced people who rushed into marriage to think this is a good idea.
Aug 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Cindy-57124 said: it does remind us that if we're serious about marriage, we need to get off our respective duff...
(Quote) Cindy-57124 said:

it does remind us that if we're serious about marriage, we need to get off our respective duffs and see where it leads.

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Amen to that!

Aug 12th 2012 new

I feel the urge to participate in this forum, because my late husband and I met (not through CM) but through The Hartford Courant personnel, met the following day ( February 14, Valentine's day), got engaged after 5 days, got married at JP on April 15. We waited that long, trying to get marry in the Church, but there was no earlier dates available other than June 17. So, on June 17, we got our marriage blessed in the church with Mass and we were happily married until he died of unexpected cancer. On the first date we met at the Boarder's book store, had a cup of coffee and spend about 3 hours talking and introducing each other. Then we went out for dinner at the Rain forest caffe. He was a gentleman, he opened the car door for me. Before dinner when he took my hand said the blessings over the meals, I knew he was the man I was looking for. The following day he asked me out, we went for a walk and a cup of coffee. He told me that he felt the same that we were meant for each other. He used to brag about it to his friends later and his friends and my friends laughed at us when we got engaged.

My point is, nothing is impossible for those who trust in God and His goodness in all mankind. Some people call it as a coincidence (accidental occurance of events that seem to have a connection), and others say it is a miracle (an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention). I call it as God' s will in our life. Let us all pray for the gift of wisdom and discernment, if it is God's plan it will happen. Patience is a virtue.

Aug 12th 2012 new

Thank you so much for sharing your story..


I used to do a private duty case with an 80+ retired lawyer.. When he was around 30 years old he went to KY with one of his law school friends to a birthday party for the friends cousin. The cousin was engaged to the daughter of his mothers best friend. John and Margaret layed eyes on each other and that was all it took.. He brought his friend back to Indy and immediately drove back down and picked Margaret up. They were married just 4 days after the party.. They stayed married 54 years until Margaret suddenly passed away. I arrived for work, just 2 hours after she died. He told me at some point that they took Margarets mother in to care for her and she told him every day how much she hated him for breaking up that engagement to her best friends son.

Aug 12th 2012 new

If a women lives within a two hour drive, we see each other a lot - weekends, weeknights, cooking together, shopping, all the domestic stuff - and we both knew there was something special on the first date, the I can see proposing in six months. Now I just need a couple of matches within 150 miles.

I guess proposing can work for some people since I've seen arranged marriages work, but it won't work for me.

Donna, I have to ask. Are the quick proposal success stories all never married or widowed? I will be extremely surprised it there were many divorced people on that list.

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