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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Aug 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: I suppose that you did nto like being cor...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



I suppose that you did nto like being corrected by little me. I meant no offense. I have worked in life and death and CPS and crisis so I know how the humor works, you don't need to translate it for me. I just felt offended period. I am not feeling real great these days and everything hurts.


I have no problem with being corrected if I'm wrong about something.

--hide--



That is good Ray. I have worked with foster children and they are very broken.

When they are adopted, because what they have been through puts them into the category of "special needs" the federal system sends a chunky monthly stipend for each child to the parents who are adopting.

This goes on until the age of 18 years old. This little boy is hurting a lot right now. I have worked closely with these children as a Foster Care Social worker, have seen this pain up close and held these children who don't know who loves them.

My point is very simply that I was not up to that type of humor right now. That is all.

Whether it is wrong humor or not is not my point. I found it offensive because I have worked very closely with these children for long periods of time.

Aug 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: My point is very simply that I was not up to that type of humor right now. That is all. W...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

My point is very simply that I was not up to that type of humor right now. That is all.

Whether it is wrong humor or not is not my point. I found it offensive because I have worked very closely with these children for long periods of time.

--hide--

Marian, I'm very sorry you are having a difficult time. But if I'm to take your statement to its logical conclusion, it would be that no one should post anything that might offend someone else. What means that essentially nothing can be posted...

Aug 19th 2012 new

I think a lot of things get miscommunicated with on-line conversations. It is important to keep in mind we all have different backgrounds.

Humor is often misunderstood, but when I read posts and see people asking for clearifacation or giving explaination of their posts isn't that enough? Or does it all really have to be picked apart?

two cents Not every thing is logical.....somethings are just feelings! And that's OK!!! IMHO

Aug 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: That is good Ray. I have worked with foster children and they are very broken.
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:




That is good Ray. I have worked with foster children and they are very broken.

When they are adopted, because what they have been through puts them into the category of "special needs" the federal system sends a chunky monthly stipend for each child to the parents who are adopting.

This goes on until the age of 18 years old. This little boy is hurting a lot right now. I have worked closely with these children as a Foster Care Social worker, have seen this pain up close and held these children who don't know who loves them.

My point is very simply that I was not up to that type of humor right now. That is all.

Whether it is wrong humor or not is not my point. I found it offensive because I have worked very closely with these children for long periods of time.

--hide--
Marian -- if you review our previous posts (including mine) you'll see how serious we are taking this topic. Several of us have tossed out ideas, suggestions, and constructive comments. There's no indication that we were making wisecracks at the expense of the youngster involved here. It seemed we were at an impasse and "needed a break" -- that's all there was to it.

We appreciate your constructive comments about this behavioral problem in question, knowing that you have had experience because of your profession.

Aug 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: That is good Ray. I have worked with ...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:




That is good Ray. I have worked with foster children and they are very broken.

When they are adopted, because what they have been through puts them into the category of "special needs" the federal system sends a chunky monthly stipend for each child to the parents who are adopting.

This goes on until the age of 18 years old. This little boy is hurting a lot right now. I have worked closely with these children as a Foster Care Social worker, have seen this pain up close and held these children who don't know who loves them.

My point is very simply that I was not up to that type of humor right now. That is all.

Whether it is wrong humor or not is not my point. I found it offensive because I have worked very closely with these children for long periods of time.


Marian -- if you review our previous posts (including mine) you'll see how serious we are taking this topic. Several of us have tossed out ideas, suggestions, and constructive comments. There's no indication that we were making wisecracks at the expense of the youngster involved here. It seemed we were at an impasse and "needed a break" -- that's all there was to it.

We appreciate your constructive comments about this behavioral problem in question, knowing that you have had experience because of your profession.

--hide--



Yes I see what has been posted on this thread. I have been contributing to this thread a lot as well and have read the posts. God Bless You Everyone. theheart

Aug 19th 2012 new
I have a lot of very painful memories of for example: holding a 2 year old who would not go to sleep during his first afternoon in the second foster home; and he was simply confused week after week as I had to transport him from weekend visits with(former drug using) bio- mom back to foster home on a Monday, week after week while they went through these round of court ordered visits. It was pretty awful. He gets in the car after eating pancakes with bio-mom and is screaming and crying in the car all the way to the foster home. I have worked in this for years. I have worked in the Reunification Unit and watched foster parents who are tying to adopt cry while they let the children go home with (former drug using) bio- mom for a few days. The kids are crying too. It is pure hell.

The kids are as confused as you can imagine. I have worked in very intense and emotionally charged situations doing this work and documenting and observing.
Aug 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I have a lot of very painful memories of for example: holding a 2 year old who would not go to sleep dur...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I have a lot of very painful memories of for example: holding a 2 year old who would not go to sleep during his first afternoon in the second foster home; and he was simply confused week after week as I had to transport him from weekend visits with(former drug using) bio- mom back to foster home on a Monday, week after week while they went through these round of court ordered visits. It was pretty awful. He gets in the car after eating pancakes with bio-mom and is screaming and crying in the car all the way to the foster home. I have worked in this for years. I have worked in the Reunification Unit and watched foster parents who are tying to adopt cry while they let the children go home with (former drug using) bio- mom for a few days. The kids are crying too. It is pure hell.

The kids are as confused as you can imagine. I have worked in very intense and emotionally charged situations doing this work and documenting and observing.
--hide--


As a foster mom I can relate to this story Marian, It is so heart breaking to witness a child of God cry for fear he does not know what love is, nor where he will recieve his next meal, warm bath, or hug.

Handeling things with humor is something I do often, However I do not see any humor in child abuse. It is hard to not feel defensive toward people who do not fully understand.

It takes a lot of patients and love to work with any child, foster children need so much more. I will be praying for the 3 year old and hope the adoption goes through swiftly and his little heart can begin to heal. rosary

Aug 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Amy-868480 said: As a foster mom I can relate to this story Marian, It is so heart breaking to witness ...
(Quote) Amy-868480 said:


As a foster mom I can relate to this story Marian, It is so heart breaking to witness a child of God cry for fear he does not know what love is, nor where he will recieve his next meal, warm bath, or hug.

Handeling things with humor is something I do often, However I do not see any humor in child abuse. It is hard to not feel defensive toward people who do not fully understand.

It takes a lot of patients and love to work with any child, foster children need so much more. I will be praying for the 3 year old and hope the adoption goes through swiftly and his little heart can begin to heal.

--hide--
This particular situation involves a 3-year old. It's not uncommon for a 2-3 year old to "act up" when he doesn't get his way. That may account for of this youngster's problem. To what extent? We don't know. Now add to the equation all of the circumstances that were described and you have a nearly unmanageable problem. After all, children need roots. They need a foundation -- something solid they can rely on. When that foundation is rocked or destroyed, I can't even imagine what goes on in those children's minds.

I'm not sure if there's a way to sort out what's fairly normal as far as acting up, and how much to attribute to the child's added problems. If it were possible to do so, it could be the beginning of the solution. Just a thought......but we'll leave that up to the experts.

Aug 19th 2012 new

(Quote) Sarah-799098 said: Hi Catholic Match friends! I have a question about dealing with toddlers -- I would gladly...
(Quote) Sarah-799098 said:

Hi Catholic Match friends!

I have a question about dealing with toddlers -- I would gladly welcome any and all opinions or tidbits of advice you have to give me!!


I am a pediatric nurse, and I currently work in home health. My primary patient is a 3 year old boy who really and truly is the sweetest, most beautiful boy, especially considering all that he's been through. However, he is still 3, and he is at the height of his defiant stage. Everything is a battle, and lately he's also taken to hitting and punching when he doesn't get his way. Time outs don't work for him, he runs away and throws things and is constantly being put back in time out. I know I should be consistent with my consequences for his actions, but if that's the case, then he's in time out all day.


He also is one of 6 children who are constantly together, and the oldest is 7 and is a bully -- especially to my little one. I know that this is an exacerbating factor, and when they are separate, things normally go smoothly. However, I am not able to separate them all the time, and if they are never together my patient will never learn the good behaviors we're trying to teach him.


And the last factor is that he's still a foster child. So even his parents cannot do anything other than "talking to him" and time outs.



Do any of you with experience with this type of disciplinary problem have any suggestions or ideas of methods I could use to reinforce good behavior and to "punish" his bad behaviors?


I am at my wits end!


THANK YOU!!

--hide--
Put the 7 year old in time out.

Aug 19th 2012 new
(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I suppose that you did nto like being corrected by little me. I meant no offense. I have worked in life...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



I suppose that you did nto like being corrected by little me. I meant no offense. I have worked in life and death and CPS and crisis so I know how the humor works, you don't need to translate it for me. I just felt offended period. I am not feeling real great these days and everything hurts.

--hide--


hug rosary hug Sending hugs & prayers. I understand not feeling great....God Bless you during this time. hug Praying
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