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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Aug 31st 2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: It may seemingly work at the time, but I'm seeing a possible build-up of resentment between the...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

It may seemingly work at the time, but I'm seeing a possible build-up of resentment between the two youngsters. Might work on a short-term basis. Long term? I'm not so sure.

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You never know-what works for one person may not work for another. personality/temperment type has alot to do with it. biggrin

Sep 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Sarah-799098 said: I wish picking my battles was easier! LOL I am also a rather stubborn person and am having to lea...
(Quote) Sarah-799098 said:

I wish picking my battles was easier! LOL I am also a rather stubborn person and am having to learn which issues are best to deal with. Like I said, he's normally a sweet little boy! It's just when he gets mad that the world seems to fall apart.

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you're the adult. stubbornness and self-will are no good. try to leave them outside in the parking lot.

Sep 16th 2012 new

I have a very active, very strong-willed three year old right now, so I do know what you mean.

It's a tough stage for them, they know how to talk but don't always have the understanding or even the vocabulary to articulate when something is bothering them, when they are frustrated, or even simply tired.... so they act out.

One method I've found works well, is based on the attention principle. Children love attention and will seek it, even if it is negative attention. Give more attention and affirmation whenever he is being the sweet little boy you know he is, but refuse to enter any discussion or negotiation whenever he is being naughty. It could mean even separating him from the other children, similar to a time-out but be careful not to be feeding his need for attention when he is acting up.

My little boy for example, will run away from the 'naughty spot', run out of the house, throw things, even spit to get attention when he is in that mood. In good weather, I've even put him into the back garden and shut the door, then turned away so he doesn't believe he is getting the attention, though God knows I'm tuned in with every fibre of my being! Nothing like being ignored, can turn my boy around faster, and bring him to me with hugs and apologies for his behaviour.

Also, instead of time-outs, you could try removing 'priveliges' - for my three year old that means, if he's throwing or banging a toy about and not listening when I ask him to please stop, I take it away for the rest of the day. For older children it could mean, reduced TV time, playtime with friends, etc.

I don't claim to be an expert but, these methods have definitely worked for me. Good luck!

Sep 23rd 2012 new
When Janna was two her temper started manifesting itself in defiance. This lasted almost two years. I do not have any other children so I just had her defiance to deal with. I would send her to her room for time outs because she wouldn't stay in a chair and she would scream at the top of her lungs and watch everyone to see the reaction. I am good at ignoring but others are not. I had to put a hook on the outside of her door because she wouldn't stay in. She would scream and throw herself against dthe furniture and walls for 45 minutes to an hour. I told her that her time out would not start until she was quiet. I tried everything else and this was the only thing that worked. eventually she learned that she was not getting anywhere and it stopped. But isolating her was the only thing that worked.

One time she emptied all her drawers in the middle of the room. She never did it again because she had to fold all her clothes and put them away properly, with help from mama of course, but I think that taught her.

Another time she was beating the door with her baby doll. She lost her for several hours. Since she had never been without baby except for when she was at day care, I think she went through withdrawel symptoms. Crying was the worst of it.
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