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This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Aug 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Lisa-727959 said: Dear Cheryl, I've never felt it was appropriate for me to be friends with my ex-husband...
(Quote) Lisa-727959 said:

Dear Cheryl,

I've never felt it was appropriate for me to be friends with my ex-husband. We have both remarried and I lost our 3 children in miscarriage so we didn't need to be in contact. The forgiveness issue wasn't the reason for my feeling friendship with my ex was inappropriate, I just thought it was weird and not something that fit well with me.

I do know someone else in particular who got divorced and they both remarried. They happen to be friends for the kids' sake but they don't spend holidays together or hang out as couples. They see each other at baseball games or school events and give each other a hug. It seems to work well.

There are probably a lot of different scenarios out there but I think if you like the guy, give it a chance but keep your eyes open. It might prove to be a good match for you or you may see right off the bat that it's a situation you don't want to deal with.

- Lisa Duffy

hmmm, interesting...if they are friendly enough to give each other a hug, I'd wonder why they ever got divorced??? I guarantee I wouldn't be comfortable with my husband hugging his ex. I'd be fine if they were cordial for the kids sake and this is the kind of explanation on the word "friends" I'd need to hear.

Sep 9th 2012 new

Dear Cheryl

I think you should discern for yourself ,carefully, the people you meet, and are considering letting into the inner circle of your life. Always mindful in assessing the circumstances and trusting what you see in his dealings with you and with others.

Observe him when he is with others, friends and family. Look into what his hobbies and habits are. What is the quality of the relatonships he has cultivated before he met you.
Does he do volunteer work. Ask him the tough honest questions you are wondering about .Ask him to share his thoughts with you on the important issues the church expects all authentic Catholics to embrace.

Pay attention to the way he drives and how he interacts with children. If you like what you see , give him a chance, go all in , invest in the relationship with commitment to it and pray together that your friendship be blessed by God. It after time you feel he is not the one for you, nothing lost , you have your respect for self and your dignity in tact and another course completed in Life's university!

thx for the topic

Sep 9th 2012 new

I, too, have been divorced --for 2 years now. We have two children, both in college. For their sakes, I chose the high road. I never wanted them to be involved with the unpleasant issues of our divorce, though they did need to know the basics. My ex-husband has since remarried, and both of them are at family events. I am polite and acknowledge them, may speak briefly, but then go my own way. Is it awkward? Certainly. With forgiveness comes the grace to move on in your life. What a gift it has been! We share the memories of our almost 20 year marriage, and the intertwining of our families. Those things cannot be undone. We both love our children, and try to work together to do what is best for them. In my case, the chance of reuniting is nil. I have no desire nor would I ever even consider it. Seeking God's new plan for me, living my life with all of the dignity and grace I can muster, and reminding myself that our marriage did have worth and brought me my two wonderful children is what keeps me looking ahead. Is my relationship "wonderful" with my ex-husband? I wouldn't go that far. Trust your instincts about their relationship, and if you need clarity, ask for it.

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