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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Sep 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Amy-812495 said: While this is often misunderstood, the Catholic model of marriage is that the husband is the head o...
(Quote) Amy-812495 said:

While this is often misunderstood, the Catholic model of marriage is that the husband is the head of the family. So I think that when the man takes the initiative in dating, this provides the girl with a good idea of how he can fill that role.

And, besides, it just feels right to me to have the man initiate the relationship.

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Preach it girl!! Proverbs 18:22 "he who finds a wife finds a good thing and finds favor with God" but it takes some searching and initiative, doesn't it?

Sep 4th 2012 new

[quote]AnneMarie-641597 said:



I think they need a LOT of tweaking, but that's my opinion. I have also been told, more than once here, that I am forward and aggressive because I will send an email. That seems to come from a small percentage of men, but many, many women? ah well

AnneMarie, you are not being aggressive at all!! I probably sent hundreds of email emotes or short messages, birthday greetings and encouragements to men of all ages. Yes, at first it seemed out of character for me as I am not the type to flirt in person. As I continued to reach out, I began encouraging guys, writing to any whose profiles were especially well written that caught my eye. By the time I wrote to the guy that would become my fiance, it was as easy as falling off a log! Yes, some guys may feel like I overstepped my boundaries but for every one like that, my experience was that I found scads of guys that appreciated a friendly hi. And like you, I archived them a day or so after I reached out so that I was not faced with failure to respond back. I didn't get any advice from my mother as I spent 6 years in all girl schools and all my friends were female! When my daughter was growing up though I encouraged her to be friendly to everyone, male and female and I think this advice works online as well as off. Just my two cents

Sep 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Beth-621047 said: I probably sent hundreds of email emotes or short messages, birthday greetin...
(Quote) Beth-621047 said:


I probably sent hundreds of email emotes or short messages, birthday greetings and encouragements to men of all ages. Yes, at first it seemed out of character for me as I am not the type to flirt in person. As I continued to reach out, I began encouraging guys, writing to any whose profiles were especially well written that caught my eye. By the time I wrote to the guy that would become my fiance, it was as easy as falling off a log! Yes, some guys may feel like I overstepped my boundaries but for every one like that, my experience was that I found scads of guys that appreciated a friendly hi. And like you, I archived them a day or so after I reached out so that I was not faced with failure to respond back.

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"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

Woody Allen, while not exactly a role model in other ways, was right about showing up. Beth is a wise woman.

Sep 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Andrew-865848 said: "Eighty percent of success is showing up." Woody Allen, while not ...
(Quote) Andrew-865848 said:


"Eighty percent of success is showing up."

Woody Allen, while not exactly a role model in other ways, was right about showing up. Beth is a wise woman.

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Aaaawwww, Andrew, thanks for the compliment! rose hug rose

Sep 4th 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: Different perspective...what about the man in church who is painfully shy??? Several weeks ag...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:

Different perspective...what about the man in church who is painfully shy??? Several weeks ago, I was introduced to a man who I have seen in church for years. We have never exchanged more than smiles, sign of peace, etc. Come to find out he is good friends with my friend's husband, and they work together. At one point, she had asked her husband if his friend even dated. He is very cautious, and a very, very slow mover. Once he does start talking, he's really funny. The jury is still out as to whether he is interested, or it was wishful thinking on her part, but at least we share conversation now.

Wrong to pursue conversation with an interesting man who I share a great deal of common ground with, including work? Thoughts?

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I don't believe it to be wrong to pursue conversation with an interesting man. It's a great way of letting him know you're interested and in all honesty, you can determine if you're interested. You never know what can happen when you talk with someone. They might be interesting to you or they may not. It's the beauty in getting to know someone. Now if you walked up to him, squeezed his bottom and said, "yo, wud up!" Then that'd be too agressive. laughing

Sep 4th 2012 new

Dang it! irked



laughing

Sep 4th 2012 new

And THAT would be where MY shy bone shows up. Not so much of a chance of that happening. embarassed heart

Sep 4th 2012 new

Amen, Amen I say to you!!! I'm the same way offline. Life is too much fun to sit through it on the sidelines!! heart

Sep 4th 2012 new

(Quote) Andrew-865848 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Yes, we were told by our mothers that "Gi...
(Quote) Andrew-865848 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Yes, we were told by our mothers that "Girls do not call boys." TRUE! Do you think I listened? No. I am glad for the way I walked all over that. I am wondering were all the ladies here taught this from mom? Is it a Catholic way of seeing dating?



Context is everything. There was no Internet, no email, no computers, no Skype video when mothers were dishing out the "Girls do not call boys" advice. It made perfect sense because the context was the real world. I would go further and say the advice is probably still relevant, at some level, today, in the REAL WORLD.

In the digital world, not so much. As I discussed in another thread (look for purple bananas), the digital world lacks many of the cues and information that we have been using for thousands of years to date and mate in the real world. Hence, the rules just might, just maybe, do ya think, need a little tweaking.

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The digital world lacks all of the communication we enjoy on the phone but especially in person, yes. It lacks all we are used to. Lets hope some of us or allof us can persevere though if this is the way we are meant to meet our intended.

Sep 30th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) Linda-624584 said: Hi Marian, Of course I was taught not to...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Quote:
Linda-624584 said:

Hi Marian,

Of course I was taught not to call "boys". I was raised in a "Southern Baptist" home, so this had nothing to do with Catholic teaching.

I think it was a generational thing. A "sign of the times", if you will. I certainly don't abide by those rules now. However, I'm still of the "old fashioned" mindset that, men are the leaders in a relationship/marriage.




Due to my intuitive personality and my own way of thinking I was willing and did call boys. I think it was a wonderful opportunity for growth and I would not change it. I think people (women) (men) know what to do when they feel led and it does nto have to be all or nothing about calling or making some move.

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Where do we stand on this topic 4 weeks later? I did nto say that women should nto initiate contact with men at all. I said that I have done it and have no problem with it that I can identify.

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