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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Oct 18th 2012 new

I understand what you're saying, having 3 sons in Catholic school and solo at their events for years. I guest the important fact for me is remember that you are there for your kids and support them.

Oct 18th 2012 new

I can totally understand how you feel! I often feel that way when I go to Mass alone with my kids, and I can see how it might be harder in the school setting. Could you ask a female friend from church to go with you possibly?

Oct 20th 2012 new

My children (now three teenagers) attend the Catholic Middle & High School.

What I have noticed over the years is while somethings are for both parents to attend, there are always spouses which are not present. My own father did NOT attend many school functions due to his job. My mom just did it. I also know some military families, same situation.

Okay there are times its just plain awkward, ie father-daughter dance. My youngest cried the first year she was the only one in her class not to attend. A mother asked me about it the next day why she wasn't there. The next year she made sure that my daughter went with her two daughters and husband. God blesses us in so many ways.

There are those moments that I really wish I could share with someone, but it is not now.

Catholic schools have really wonderful families that attend. We are and so are you! God Bless your family! Praying hug

Nov 3rd 2012 new

biggrin wave Blinded by love Hi Anne
yes I do two, how many do you have? You should try to focus more of what your kids do rahter than what the other couples or families do. you need to get use to it , Behappy and enjoy life to the fullest.

Nov 19th 2012 new

Linda, its a small world to find you here, I also did time as a Trojan and a Knight - your brother and I survived it together. I am so sorry for your loss and I am praying every day for your dad now. Thanks for the good thoughts.

Nov 19th 2012 new

Thank you all for your responses. I am very active in my parish and the schools. It is important to me to be as present as possible for my children and I have a large loving family also in the parish who help me too.

Most of the time I just continue as if it is perfectly normal and if someone makes a thoughtless remark or does not realize I am single I use humor to get past it. There are moments though that I can relate to wanting to say something blunt. Once I did respond to the where is your husband questions with "I gave him up for lent, this year I'm giving up sobriety" luckily it turns out she was remarried and understood. :)

Dec 20th 2012 new

Well. I just went through an awkward Christmas program at my daughter's school yesterday. Sat with my son and my ex while we all watched my daughter's Christmas liturgical program. Afterward, the people right in front of us recognized me from helping out with bingo a few weeks ago. Long story short: they start talking to my ex and myself as if we are married. This went on for about five minutes. We both kept looking at each other but didn't correct them on the spot, as it would have been even more awkward.

Most people know we are divorced, but a few don't . Those that don't know the story or know us that well think that we are indeed married. We get a lot of compliments from people on how civil we act towards each other once they find out we are divorced and annulled. I guess that is a sign of having complete forgiveness on both sides to get to that level... But it does make for an awkward moment every so often.

(Quote) Anne-605874 said: Thank you all for your responses. I am very active in my parish and the schools. It is important t...
(Quote) Anne-605874 said:

Thank you all for your responses. I am very active in my parish and the schools. It is important to me to be as present as possible for my children and I have a large loving family also in the parish who help me too.

Most of the time I just continue as if it is perfectly normal and if someone makes a thoughtless remark or does not realize I am single I use humor to get past it. There are moments though that I can relate to wanting to say something blunt. Once I did respond to the where is your husband questions with "I gave him up for lent, this year I'm giving up sobriety" luckily it turns out she was remarried and understood. :)

--hide--

Dec 20th 2012 new

(Quote) ed-925050 said: Well. I just went through an awkward Christmas program at my daughter's school yesterday. Sat wi...
(Quote) ed-925050 said:

Well. I just went through an awkward Christmas program at my daughter's school yesterday. Sat with my son and my ex while we all watched my daughter's Christmas liturgical program. Afterward, the people right in front of us recognized me from helping out with bingo a few weeks ago. Long story short: they start talking to my ex and myself as if we are married. This went on for about five minutes. We both kept looking at each other but didn't correct them on the spot, as it would have been even more awkward.

Most people know we are divorced, but a few don't . Those that don't know the story or know us that well think that we are indeed married. We get a lot of compliments from people on how civil we act towards each other once they find out we are divorced and annulled. I guess that is a sign of having complete forgiveness on both sides to get to that level... But it does make for an awkward moment every so often.

--hide--
I'm sorry you felt awkward, Ed. I can recall I felt uncomfortable being with my ex at some school functions when my emotions over the divorce were still heightened. But once they simmered down, I stayed in my head, so to speak, knowing that there was no logical reason for me to feel awkward being at my son's event. The reality simply IS. How people interpret the reality is up to them, mostly, but I can help them along by setting a positive example. A number of school families have complimented me, too, for how civil my ex, his wife, and I all get along. I don't know that I would agree with your assessment that it's "complete forgiveness" that creates a civil atmosphere--at least not in my case. There are a few things from the distant past, as well as fairly recent behavior, for which I think my ex needs to apologize for to me. But to act nasty towards him over those transgressions smacks of immature adolescent behavior. I'd rather be immature in happy funny ways than in negative ways! wink

Dec 20th 2012 new

The only awkward part was that these two people thought we were married. Other than that it was actually great. Only the last 5 minutes of it was really that awkward.

Yeah, we still have our moments of friction, but we still try to keep things civil as much as possible. Forgive and not forget is kinda how I look at it.


(Quote) Lina-796057 said: (Quote) ed-925050 said: Well. I just went through an awkward Christmas prog...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

Quote:
ed-925050 said:

Well. I just went through an awkward Christmas program at my daughter's school yesterday. Sat with my son and my ex while we all watched my daughter's Christmas liturgical program. Afterward, the people right in front of us recognized me from helping out with bingo a few weeks ago. Long story short: they start talking to my ex and myself as if we are married. This went on for about five minutes. We both kept looking at each other but didn't correct them on the spot, as it would have been even more awkward.

Most people know we are divorced, but a few don't . Those that don't know the story or know us that well think that we are indeed married. We get a lot of compliments from people on how civil we act towards each other once they find out we are divorced and annulled. I guess that is a sign of having complete forgiveness on both sides to get to that level... But it does make for an awkward moment every so often.


I'm sorry you felt awkward, Ed. I can recall I felt uncomfortable being with my ex at some school functions when my emotions over the divorce were still heightened. But once they simmered down, I stayed in my head, so to speak, knowing that there was no logical reason for me to feel awkward being at my son's event. The reality simply IS. How people interpret the reality is up to them, mostly, but I can help them along by setting a positive example. A number of school families have complimented me, too, for how civil my ex, his wife, and I all get along. I don't know that I would agree with your assessment that it's "complete forgiveness" that creates a civil atmosphere--at least not in my case. There are a few things from the distant past, as well as fairly recent behavior, for which I think my ex needs to apologize for to me. But to act nasty towards him over those transgressions smacks of immature adolescent behavior. I'd rather be immature in happy funny ways than in negative ways!

--hide--

Dec 21st 2012 new

Ed - I am glad you were both able to get through it with grace. My ex sometimes attends the christmas and major milestone functions. We don't always sit together but when we do it is civil. He is on marriage #4 now and its not going well, so it's always a different experience.

It is funny you should metion forgive and not forget. I recently expereince a new sense of peace in realizing that I was at a point where I could forgive him but that it doesn't mean I had to forget the bad stuff that has happened.

I am finally beginning to really understand that forgiving those who we perceive as having wronged us, is actually more of a gift to ourselves than it is even to them. I got to a point where I no longer relied on him for anything and then I realized I can forgive. With this the lingering pain and betrayal can stop.

I am glad you are there too. I am hoping the feeling will stay.

Anne

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