This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.
Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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I am finally beginning to really understand that forgiving those who we perceive as having wronged us, is actually more of a gift to ourselves than it is even to them. I got to a point where I no longer relied on him for anything and then I realized I can forgive.
That is a very thought provoking observation, Anne. I think once one person in the ended relationship gets to that stage, the other one naturally goes down that path as well, cause its hard to continually be a jerk to the other person if all you get back is kindness, lol... :-)
Yes, you are probably right that forgiveness came easiest for you after getting out of any sort of "survival mode". Survival mode is a tough place to be....
My son is in Catholic Elementary School and I feel out of place at some events especially our school auction. Luckilly my HS best friend sends her kids their to so we go as each others dates now. Not the same as having a guy on your arm but at least neither one of us is alone. My advice would be see if there are other single moms in the school and make it a girls date to the next function. Blessings to you.
My children attend the catholic school here where I also grew up. It is my faith community and my home, but sometimes I still feel so out of place among all the married couples and two parents families.
Most of the events are couples or two parent family oriented and its hard to show up alone...I know, sadly, that all those couples and marriages are not perfect, but at least they are not sitting at the holiday concert alone again! or worse I am sitting with my parents!
Anybody else feel this way?
Hi Anne, my three sons attend the same catholic elementart/middle school. I can absolutely relate to how you feel. I've dealt with this head-on, when meeting new partents for the first time (as is the case with my youngest who started Kindergarten this fall) I tell them that my wife is deceased and I am a single parent. Each parent, wife and husband alike, have been very understanding of the challenges of being a single parent. You are not alone.
Yes, My boys are in a Parochial school and I would not have it any other way. It was harder when they first started school-my husband had died the January before they started Kindergarten and I did not know anyone. My parents are both deceased as well so those first few events were really hard. But now that I know people, it has become the best support network for me. I like that it is small and I get to really know all the other parents. There are always kids over at my house or my boys are getting invited to other places. I am always surprised by just how nice and helpful most of the parents are. There are a few parents that are not so nice but there are so many nice people that it doesn't really bother me.
It still can be hard at times-First Communion was really hard for me-but we were invited to their friend's party and they included us like family. My boys could not wait to get their jackets and ties off and run around and play soccer at the party.
I try to not think about how our situation is different. Instead, I try to focus on the similar goals that we want for our kids.
Hope it gets easier for you.
Miss Anne, ... I have taken my son who is now 13 to more band concerts and school activities than you can shake a stick at. In fact, he was my guest at my company's annual Christmas party for the past two years. I love my child and he loves me. We don't care what anyone else thinks. It's about us. When I was a child in Catholic Schools, there were eight of us kids. My parents were WAY too busy to even come to watch me play ball.
Be a loving parent and simply support your child. Forget the rest. In turn, God will shower you with His love.
You could use the opportunity to join some fundraising activities to help out the school or organisations that they are involved in.I did this a few times when my sons were in primary school.You also get the opportunity to meet a few other parents.
Just a thought......Is the concept of rejection or awkwardness real or perceived? Not having experienced what you and others have gone through, I'm just wondering. Sometimes we become self-conscious when we feel different from the people around us, and that feeling is sometimes based upon one's own perception. Those of you who have undergone this experience are in a much better position to respond to this than I could possibly guess.
My kids have always been in Catholic schools. Out of 200 families, there are always 5 or 6 single moms and one single dad. I'm usually the only widow.
Awkward? Yes! I've walked out of a social event 5 minutes after it started because I couldn't handle being the only one there who was not part of a couple.
My son goes to a Catholic school. I don't usually attend any social events there and don't know how many single parents are there, but my son tells me that most families are two-parent families. I find this to be a good sign - in a society with over 50% divorce rate, it's encouraging to see that the majority of parents in a Catholic school environment are married.