I think you and I must be thinking the same way. I get asked out by the really old or really, really young. I have lost any interest in trying right now. Why? Maybe it is the online thing. I want the deep friendship, the laughter, and the time to develop the fairy tale. Right or wrong, people either want to hurry things, want sex, or want me to take antidepressants. I am not depresed according to multiple doctors, but why is it that people assume that we must be broken. Yes there are periods of feeling empty and there are so many doubts.
I was married for a very long time--would have been 24 years in Nov. I don't know how to be single and doing it online seems really foreign. I feel like part of a meat market and that I must have been beten by an ugly stick because people don't even make an effort. The rules have changed and I am not sure that I am up to it. I am not a pursuer and I am wary. I am open and I believe that God has a second chapter (a very amazing event led to this belief), but maybe I will be 90. I do believe that it is possible to love between the holes of our hearts in a whole different way. I clutch that belief and I wait in hopeful expectation for God to work.
My husband and I had such a wonderful relationship and I miss him terribly. We had our ups and downs but we were always there for each other. We had so much laughter in our relationship and now well..............I feel mostly empty. It's been a little over a year since he passed away and like a turtle I'm just beginning to poke my head out of my shell to try socializing again but at the same time I see so many break ups happening around me. My husband and I were together for 31 years. My question is, "What are the odds of finding a good relationship again?" Can it really happen twice in one lifetime? Sometimes I feel like why even try. What do you think?