Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael
You bring up some good points. True, women are drawn to confidence, yet I'm not drawn to cockiness. We want men who know what they're doing and have some sort of "in charge" attitude to an extent.
The guy who doesn't ask for a girl's number, doesn't set up a F2F, and doesn't seem that ready to make a move (though he is interested) gets left behind. The girl ends up feeling frustrated, so it's not pleasant for either.
Everyone brings up some good points. I dont go after bad boys because they usually have to many issues.Although I do know girls that do because they think they have confidence.Nice guys can have confidence too! I prefer the nice guys. I am not looking to fix someone. No one is perfect. I am a strong believer of our imperfections make us who we are. Its just a matter of what imperfections you can look past and compromise on and if you cant look past them move on.
While there are girls who like the bad boys, I am not one of them. The only time I have been attracted to the “bad boy” type is when they seemed to be nice, but I later discovered that they weren’t. Especially when you are younger, there can be a tendency to be naïve and think that a person has no faults. As other posters have noted, these “bad boys” are usually a bit more of the attention-getting types (i.e. they either are charmers, know how to deliver a compliment, or are a bit loud, funny, eloquent, nicely dressed, star athletes, high achievers or a combination of these characteristics). I didn’t go seeking out a bad boy. He caught my attention, and then quickly lost my attention when he showed his true colours.
Nice guys would have better odds finding the love of their lives if they showed more confidence, and didn’t allow rejection from one girl to stop them from pursuing others. If you are shy and quiet, find activities that allow you to meet others with similar interests. Don’t be afraid to ask a girl to join you at the coffee shop afterwards. Whatever you do, don’t become a bad boy. You will lose the girl you want by trying to be something you are not.
This may be an age thing, but the older I get, bad boys are not attractive. Why? Basically, with age has come the wisdom that finding someone "to fix" is not a good basis for a relationship. That is more of a project than a give and take relationship. Bad boys don't necesarily want to be "fixed". They like the attention they get just being who they are. The girls who date the "rebel" type? Perhaps they are trying in a somewhat passive/aggressive way to be rebelious themselves. They live vicariously though the boy their parents don't necessarily approve of. He most likely has the impression that he is "misunderstood", and the only one who really "gets him" is the girl. She is elevated in his eyes because she is so savvy but she still has the needy rebel to concentrate on. How much does the girl get in return? If his "bad " behavior is truly that, perhaps run-ins with the law, alienation of family and friends, and the constant drain of an attention-seeking partner will run its course. If not, fasten your seat belt for it may be a bumpy ride! Excitement can exist in a relationship without having to seek someone who is on a constant collision course with the world. Yes, certainly no one is perfect. But there are degrees of defiance and narcissism, and each person has to decide how much is too much. As a Mom, I referred to them as "red flag boys" and hoped my daughters would steer clear.
As St.Peter (?) says what you do not master masters you, so in a sense though it is attractive perhaps to see the 'bad boy' (or girl) coming through (because it appears as a kind of freedom), if we do not rely on the grace of Christ and his power then in the long run it leads to self destruction - We need humility to be preserved from that and the charity to encourage our brothers and sisters, who we are tempted to judge. The guys who act 'wussy' may be cowardly, so are just as bad really?
We need the energy of our fallen nature for doing good. This is where faith comes in I think, because it is through our experiences and obedience to the Church that we are given the choice to see who we really are, and through acceptance and prayer transform in to a useful instrument for the work of God.
This is my first post on a forum, just thought this was as good a topic as any to contribute.
It's not a matter of bad boy are good boy. Lots of women are just attracted to strong men that don't act wussy and uphold there values. As long as you be yourself and are a strong man of prayer you should be fine.
It just so happens that many "bad boys" give off this strong tough aura but then they end up being the ones that women regret later and say "oh why did I get into that abusive relationship, why do I attract all the wrong guys" Becuase those type of men are everywhere in this culture of death. Strong Prayer is key, ask St. Rapheal to guide you.
A morally strong male that doesn't get all wishy washy. A man who doesn't give into temptation and upholds his values. A man who doesn't give up and can help her. To be the Knight in Shining Armor. This is what they want. I'm kinda into pshychology so I find this stuff interesting
But what one must work on is De-tachment, this will detach you from the world and attach you to Christ, this will destroy selfishness and allow you to be pure and loving. A level of cool indifference is important. Be strong, pray the rosary, and resist temptation. Be a manly man, a holy man, like St. Joseph. Praying for you all :]
Bingo! I was going to say something very much like this, Tony. It sounds so much better coming from a man. Your wife will be very blessed with the gift of her husband, Tony. Battle on, prayer warrior!