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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) DorothyJean-861157 said: i was protestant and joined the catholic church last year... i asked during rcia about what...
(Quote) DorothyJean-861157 said:

i was protestant and joined the catholic church last year... i asked during rcia about what to do as i was divorced...my first husband had died and i remarried ... was married a short time got divorced with good reason ....the father said i would have to find out if his first wife was babtized...and she died several years ago...so i guess i will work on it again... and i didnt know it cost money to get it annuled...

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DorothyJean, welcome home to the Catholic Church and welcome to the forums. If finances are an issue, I believe the Church will work with someone going through an annullment and can reduce (or in some circumstances waive the fee). If you have any questions about the annullment process, it is best to speak to the Tribunal office of your diocese as some priests have been known to give out incorrect information. The Tribunal is the office that the annullments go through so to speak. There is usually someone helpful and expert there that you can contact and speak to.

Sep 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said: Getting back to your reply: It would be helpful to hear how your priest, and other priest...
(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said:


Getting back to your reply: It would be helpful to hear how your priest, and other priests, justify (via theology, morality, etc.) their sidestepping of the things we know to be true, like indissolubility of marriage, marriage has the favor of the law, etc. Those details would be good to learn, because a generic statement saying the priest approves the dating, does not say why he approves it, i.e., what Teachings of the Church does he use to back up his statement of approval when we believe dating to be errant?

Based on the many comments in various threads from people who say their priest has given them the okay to start dating while the review of their marriage is underway and the file is still open, I would say there are many priests who do not abide by Canon Law and the Ten Commandments when it comes to counseling lay people on this topic.

. . .

Can. 1060 Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is
proven.

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For the MILLIONTH time, an annulment is not a "Catholic divorce." It doesn't end a marriage, it declares there wasn't one to begin with. Therefore, if the annulment goes through later, the dating couple wasn't doing anything wrong to begin with. This is an elementary concept that very few Catholics seem able to grasp.



Sep 24th 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: (Quote) Kathleen-878558 said: Getting back to your reply: It would be...
(Quote) David-364112 said:

Quote:
Kathleen-878558 said:


Getting back to your reply: It would be helpful to hear how your priest, and other priests, justify (via theology, morality, etc.) their sidestepping of the things we know to be true, like indissolubility of marriage, marriage has the favor of the law, etc. Those details would be good to learn, because a generic statement saying the priest approves the dating, does not say why he approves it, i.e., what Teachings of the Church does he use to back up his statement of approval when we believe dating to be errant?

Based on the many comments in various threads from people who say their priest has given them the okay to start dating while the review of their marriage is underway and the file is still open, I would say there are many priests who do not abide by Canon Law and the Ten Commandments when it comes to counseling lay people on this topic.

. . .

Can. 1060 Marriage possesses the favor of law; therefore, in a case of doubt, the validity of a marriage must be upheld until the contrary is
proven.



For the MILLIONTH time, an annulment is not a "Catholic divorce." It doesn't end a marriage, it declares there wasn't one to begin with. Therefore, if the annulment goes through later, the dating couple wasn't doing anything wrong to begin with. This is an elementary concept that very few Catholics seem able to grasp.



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Sorry David, I didn't mean to upset you. I understand that an annulment is not a Catholic divorce. I wasn't writing about that, so I'm not sure what your reply is referring to in the post you quoted of mine.

Kathleen

Sep 24th 2012 new

I'm someone who came on looking for friendship. I'm going to be letting my membership to this site lapse at the end of this month, and here's why:

I came onto the site hoping for two things, help with the annulment and maybe finding other people close to my area that had some insight. In an ideal world, I'd find somebody else who was tired of sitting home watching reruns that I could safely go out and have some fun doing things with on the weekends, but not have those romantic expectations.

I have gotten some insight into the annulment process, but basically, it's still scary. I've also decided this site puts me in a state more susceptible to temptation until the annulment is final one way or another. I mean, I'm 30 years old. I expected an entirely different life than the one I have now. It's just the way of it. I can't finish the paperwork because it's emotionally difficult? Then obviously it's not time to do it yet. I have to be fully prepared for the marriage to turn out validated and live in the limbo between civil divorce and annulment forever. I'm not really. It already throws coworkers for a loop that I'm not out jumping into bed with random people (ha) because that's apparently a societal expectation of someone my age who is divorced. So, when I get messages from people with romantic expectations, it throws me for a loop.

Sep 24th 2012 new

I've got a giant packet of papers, have had to get statements from tons of people, and I'm still not through.

Sep 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathleen-817752 said: I actually spoke with my priest and he is the go to man for annualments in my area. He told me...
(Quote) Kathleen-817752 said:

I actually spoke with my priest and he is the go to man for annualments in my area. He told me I had to get letters from him, his parents, and 6 witnesses who new both of us. I would love any other information if anyone is in the Diocese of Dallas.

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I would suggest that you speak directly with the Tribunal..Letters from your ex and his parents doesn't sound right And letters from parents would only be required if they were to be witnesses and 6 additional witnesses is excessive.. Most Tribunals only want 2-3.. What if your marriage was abusive? All those people would have to be personally interviewed and that is a lot of time taken up by an Archdiocese that is already overloaded.. Most Tribunals operate with a small staff.

Sep 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said: Sorry David, I didn't mean to upset you. I understand that an annulment is not a Catholic ...
(Quote) Kathleen-878558 said:

Sorry David, I didn't mean to upset you. I understand that an annulment is not a Catholic divorce. I wasn't writing about that, so I'm not sure what your reply is referring to in the post you quoted of mine.

Kathleen

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Sorry K. Didn't mean to snap. It wasn't you. I see or hear this again and again all the time. You did nothing wrong. heart

Sep 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Patricia-29176 said: So, please answer the question if you would, as to why not start the annullment if you want...
(Quote) Patricia-29176 said:


So, please answer the question if you would, as to why not start the annullment if you want to date/etc.? (I'm not talking about those divorced persons who clearly state in their profile that they are looking only for friendship.)

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I did complete the application almopst 2 years ago only to have the Chancery reject it because their form had changed. So now I have the new form. My biggest problem is that ALL of my witnesses are dead. I don't know whatto expect from the ex's relatives if they are called to be witnesses. Although the ex has met someone (a great guy) and they're starting to talk about marriage, so who knows?

Sep 25th 2012 new

My case is similar to Kathy's, my parish priest did not encourage me to pursue annulment immediately after my divorce. However, he did leave it open for me whenever I wanted to go in that avenue. All my efforts were spent on healing and raising my young son who is now a teenager. I have been very busy with my career and in the upbringing of my son that the process of annulment has not come to mind until recently. This could be the reason, probably, why I signed up for Catholicmatch - to find out more on how to go about in the next chapter of my life and doing it the right way. This is such an appropriate Topic and I appreciate it being brought up in this forum.

Sep 25th 2012 new

Very good question! I started my annullment process almost immediately.

I don't recall thinking, "Oh, I want to remarry within the next year.", or anything like that.

I simply wanted it done and out of the way, right along with the marriage.It was the

final step of separation that I, personally, needed. You would think that it would be


of utmost importance to most people....

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