I have not started the annualment process because I have to talk to my ex and his parents. They have to write letters and I am not ready for that yet. The reason for the divorce was due to his cheating and moving in with another women but he will not admit that this is the main reason. Getting the annualment is important to me and my faith but the process is holding me up.
Kathleen, when I got my annullment (which was in the late 80's), not only did I not have to get anything from my ex, but the priest/canon lawyer at the archdiocese actually told me to send my ex a note just saying that I was going through the annullment process and to ignore any mail he got from the archdiocese (ie., not to bother responding to it). The priest said it would be easier for me to get the annullment if he didn't respond as there were enough grounds without his response (and he was Lutheran and was the one who broke up the marriage). I did have to get 2 witnesses (my maid of honor and a cousin) to write a statement, but that was it. And, to get an annullment you have to have a pre-existing reason as it were - meaning a reason that the marriage wasn't a valid Catholic marriage to begin with (such as one partner being an alcoholic, or getting married too young to know what a Catholic marriage is, or one partner not wanting to have children). To some degree it doesn't matter what happened later in the marriage, if it didn't exist before the marriage occurred. You might want to talk to someone in your diocese that deals with annulments (parish priests and deacons don't always give correct advice).