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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Nov 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Chelsea-743484 said: AnneMarie, It's probably good that you get these statements out in the open...
(Quote) Chelsea-743484 said:

AnneMarie,

It's probably good that you get these statements out in the open so that men can discern you.

This one in particular: " I will adopt as I feel that a permanent single parent home is more beneficial to any child than the temporary foster care system."

If you're going to procure a child based upon "feelings," which "feelings" human experience and Church teaching on original sin shows are neither rational nor accurate, then you're merely setting yourself up and that child as well for a lot of heartache. The basis of being human is being rational. If you're going to give that up to live your life based upon feelings, then you're a very dangerous person.

I wish you well in life...and hope you reconsider your current position. Take care.

--hide--
Chelsea,

If you are so enlightened, why are you not married yet?

Nov 12th 2012 new

(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: Chelsea,If you are so enlightened, why are you not married yet?
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:

Chelsea,

If you are so enlightened, why are you not married yet?

--hide--

Hi, Marirose,

I'm not claiming to be any better than anyone else...and I don't see the cause-effect to which you're referring in your question.

Nov 13th 2012 new

(Quote) Nancy-838315 said: So, a question for all... What are your thoughts on a single woman in her mid-30s taking i...
(Quote) Nancy-838315 said:

So, a question for all...

What are your thoughts on a single woman in her mid-30s taking in foster children or possibly adopting children?

I ask because I am praying about it. I have a strong motherhood drive and would like children. Making every effort to live my faith, obviously, I will not be having biological children unless I marry. If marriage is not in a woman's future, yet she desires motherhood, should/could she be open to fostering or adopting? (Given, of course, that she is finacially stable and has family/community to help her as needed.) Thoughts? I would love to know what older men and women, especially parents, think about this. Would doing this in the future effectively "take me off the marriage market"?


Thank you!

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I considered foster care, however, after meeting with other foster moms and finding there were mostly teen with problems in the system I opted not to do it. Only because at the time I had a 14 year old daughter at home and I was concerned about the impact to her. Actually, because you do not have children it may be a better option for you.

I also have a cousin that adopted 2 siblings (age 2 and 3) this summer. Her and her husband have 5 biological children (18 mths to 11 years). Unfortunately, they are having a very difficult time because the kids were so severly abused by their parents and former foster parents. The 3 year old is terrorizing the18 month old. It is very sad.

Know that if you adopt, the kids often come with abuse issues and that can be very difficult to deal with. In your case at least it would not affect other children. I would go to the county and explore their foster program, talk to other foster parents and go to the foster parent support groups that are available. I would foster before adopting for awhile to see how it works.

Nov 13th 2012 new

I agree. It is better for me to be up front and above board. As I am not seeking a relationship though, how men discern me is of no concern. If there is such a time when I am free to marry AND God calls me to marriage, I am certain that He will provide an appropriate mate.

I make no decisions without much prayer for discernment. I have not made this decision lightly, and I am more than aware of the obstacles that may hinder progress. I am also aware that more often than not, many couples do not want, nor are they prepared to deal with older children who have been abused. You see that as irrational. I am sorry for you. I was one of those children that was abused. I know better than most what these children face. If making choices based upon prayer and reflective time with God is wrong, I am perfectly glad to be wrong. I will always choose to err on the side of love and compassion for my fellow man.

Your 'hope' is not my concern. My only concern is God's plans for me.

Nov 13th 2012 new

Wow! Strong opinions abound! This posting was to seek advice... I got more than I asked for!


I think everyone would agree that the optimal setting for child-rearing is in a two-parent home born out of a loving marriage. Unfortunately, life is not always so neat and tidy. Families do the best they can. They are people willing to take responsibility to love the children in their lives or who may be called into their lives by means other than marriage.

What is the solution for these children who are born into the foster care program? Was is the solution for children of single women who made the choice to value the sanctity of life? What is the solution for children born in wedlock but to a father or mother who suddenly decides fatherhood or motherhood is not for him or her?


Today, I will pray for single fathers and mothers. May God continue to bless you and your children!

Nov 13th 2012 new

They don't make them any nicer than you Nancy!!! heart

Nov 13th 2012 new

Thank you Nancy and I'm sorry if your thread got hijacked with some strong opinions voiced. I was simply trying to answer your question and let you know what worked for me and you are so right, there are children out there that were not asked to be put on this earth but need a good loving parent. Of course I would have loved for my son to have a father and a mother, I am not that selfish, however I know God put him into my life for a reason. He is a great kid and growing up to be a very responsible, loving, respectful little man. I pray that I can continue to lead him on a path wherby he grows up to be a productive, faithful and responsible adult whom respects everyone for whom they are no matter what choices they make.

I wish you luck on your decision.

God Bless. Nora

Nov 13th 2012 new

(Quote) Nora-914810 said: Thank you Nancy and I'm sorry if your thread got hijacked with some strong opinions voiced. I ...
(Quote) Nora-914810 said:

Thank you Nancy and I'm sorry if your thread got hijacked with some strong opinions voiced. I was simply trying to answer your question and let you know what worked for me and you are so right, there are children out there that were not asked to be put on this earth but need a good loving parent. Of course I would have loved for my son to have a father and a mother, I am not that selfish, however I know God put him into my life for a reason. He is a great kid and growing up to be a very responsible, loving, respectful little man. I pray that I can continue to lead him on a path wherby he grows up to be a productive, faithful and responsible adult whom respects everyone for whom they are no matter what choices they make.

I wish you luck on your decision.

God Bless. Nora

--hide--
That is wonderful that God put him in your life. Lucky little boy.

Nov 13th 2012 new

Thank you Marirose for your kind words, but I am truly the blessed one here. I appreciate your support shown throughout this thread.

Mar 17th 2013 new
Hi, Nora. I just read all this thread as I've been thinking about adoption for the last 4 years of my life. I'm 42 and I really desire to be a mom. A few months ago I decided I will do it. Your posts where very inspiring, thanks for sharing your experience,
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