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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Marilyn-597098 said: I don't understand why are you concerned about other women's views in sex.
(Quote) Marilyn-597098 said: I don't understand why are you concerned about other women's views in sex.
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So I am not supposed to be curious about others? Or attempt to learn from other people?

Sep 23rd 2012 new
I Googled it and only came up with websites or videos of babies dancing. ;)
Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Cathy-620979 said: You are assuming way too much here, AnneMarie.The boards are not infertility focused and ...
(Quote) Cathy-620979 said:

You are assuming way too much here, AnneMarie.

The boards are not infertility focused and I do not think the women who use the term Baby Dance are particularly concerned about infertility. It is not a euphamsm they employ to avoid painful emotions. They have no problem using scientific terms and commonplace slang for sexual issues.

They are using the term Baby Dance because they see sex as a means to getting pregnant.

I'm sure infertility puts strains on some marriages (although getting married for the express purpose of having children seems a mistake), but that is another issue. Start another thread if you want to talk about that.

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I am not assuming anything. I dealt, personally, with infertility for fifteen years, and all that goes with it. I am honestly saying two things: one - I have never seen the term 'baby dance' used anywhere but in those forums; and two - I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


I addressed it in this thread because it is relevant to your title. heart

Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: I am not assuming anything. I dealt, personally, with infertility for fifte...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:

I am not assuming anything. I dealt, personally, with infertility for fifteen years, and all that goes with it. I am honestly saying two things: one - I have never seen the term 'baby dance' used anywhere but in those forums; and two - I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


I addressed it in this thread because it is relevant to your title.

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thumbsup highfive hug hug Been there, done that in the 80's, got the T-shirt and two adopted kids, AnneMarie. I hear you loud and clear...I think we called it under a different euphemism "hearing our biological clocks tick". Same idea. But even though the focus was upon creating a child-filled family at the time, we always prayed ahead of time, and consummated our love each time, thankful for the special union He created BETWEEN US FIRST, and then hopeful that He would bless that union with a new creation. It was never a mis-use of "sex". rose heart

Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Cathy-620979 said: Start another thread if you want to talk about that.
(Quote) Cathy-620979 said:
Start another thread if you want to talk about that.

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eyepopping hellokitty A little strongly worded here, Cathy. Perhaps a gentler, more amicable way to say that would have been better....

Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Beverly-649723 said: A little strongly worded here, Cathy. Perhaps a gentler, more amicable way to say that would ha...
(Quote) Beverly-649723 said:

A little strongly worded here, Cathy. Perhaps a gentler, more amicable way to say that would have been better....

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Yes. Sorry. I was just afraid I was being tarred as insensitive to people with fertility problems, and that never even crossed my mind when I started this thread (and the people I saw using the term Baby Dance did not seem to have fertility problems, so that was not what it was about.)

Sep 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Cathy-620979 said: Yes. Sorry. I was just afraid I was being tarred as insensitive to people with ...
(Quote) Cathy-620979 said:

Yes. Sorry. I was just afraid I was being tarred as insensitive to people with fertility problems, and that never even crossed my mind when I started this thread (and the people I saw using the term Baby Dance did not seem to have fertility problems, so that was not what it was about.)

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Cathy - That was seriously not my purpose. The ONLY place I have seen baby dance is on infertility boards. I thought possibly you'd stumbled into one. No harm, no foul. My apologies for the misunderstanding. heart

Sep 23rd 2012 new

I kinda want to know what these sites are!

Oct 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Cathy-620979 said: I have no plans to have sex before marriage, but when I read message boards at other websites (wo...
(Quote) Cathy-620979 said:

I have no plans to have sex before marriage, but when I read message boards at other websites (women's sites), it can be discouraging.

I refer to the attitude that many married women (yougish women in their 20s and 30s) take toward sex with their husbands. They are interested in it only for the chance of getting pregnant. Sex is very often referred to as the "Baby Dance". And it you read the posts these women write, you see that they are interested in sex only so far as it will take them to motherhood.

Referring to sex as the Baby Dance is not just a denigration of a special and holy act, but even from a purely secular standpoint it seems to trivialize and make commonplace what can be awesome and transcendent.

I understand many women really, really, really badly want to be mothers (even if I don't feel this urge myself), but I wish they could see sex as more than just a means to a reproductive end.

I have to wonder about the stability of these marriages in the long run, because it seems (from their posts), that the women see their husbands as primarily a source of income and semen. With modern divorce law, the woman is financially protected, so I have to think that when the kids are out of toddler age, a divorce will be forthcoming. The ex-husbands still have to pay alimony and child support, so the woman maintains her lifestyle, but she doesn't have to have sex with the guy or interact with much at all. She got her kids and money out of him, so what else does she need? This is a severely cynical approach to marriage, but that's what I feel lurking underneath the postings of many women on those boards.

It's enough to put me off marriage altogether. I just hope I never end up in a relationship like that.

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"Everything about woman is a riddle, and ethat riddle has but one solution—it is called pregnancy. For woman, man is but a means to an end: the end is always the child." F. Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra


wink


Cathy:


Thank you for writing this. These women have a terribly selfish view of marriage and of marital love. They will drive their husbands off.


It's that nasty old Jansenism rearing its head again. All sex, even marital sex, is bad and should be kept to a necessary minimum. Thank God JPII spent much of his papacy clearing up this terrible error.

Oct 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Wendy-387654 said: Keeping God center in your life IS the way to go. Great comment Marilyn. I would hav...
(Quote) Wendy-387654 said:


Keeping God center in your life IS the way to go. Great comment Marilyn. I would have to wonder if these couples have God as their center, and if God was center when they were dating (....did they engage in premarital sex).

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I think the women who posted these things are very religious, but caught in the throes of a terrible and SELFISH error. I doubt premarital sex was something that appealed to them. Sadly, the total self-giving of marital love is something they find distasteful. They see sex not as a way of deepening their love for their husbands but only as a necessary and distasteful means to an end - i.e. pregnancy.


All marital love-making MUST be open to the transmission of life. No exceptions. it also must be self-giving. To act as they describe is to demean their husbands and to engage in sex only for the most selfish of reasons. This is a terrible attiutde.

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