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Devoted to discussion pertaining to those issues which are specifically relevant to people 45+. Topics must have a specific perspective of people in this age group for it to be on topic.

The story of Abraham and Sarah is told in chapters 11-25 of the book of Genesis.
Learn More:Abraham & Sarah

Could it ever work out?

09/22/2012 new

Could it ever work out when someone who lived previously a long term relationship which is ended for whatever reason (divorced, widowed, lived in a long term partnership without marriage) and is now seeking marriage to someone who had never ever had a long term relationship – and that too for people 50+? Take in count that one or the other even has children.

Aren't the ideas of lifestyle and expectations as well as experiences as too different?

Looking at the “never married” profiles from let's say 48/50+ I wonder how they handle or think about this.

Would be nice if you shared your thoughts about that … Thank you!

09/22/2012 new

(Quote) Andrea-850967 said: Could it ever work out when someone who lived previously a long term relationship which is ended...
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said:

Could it ever work out when someone who lived previously a long term relationship which is ended for whatever reason (divorced, widowed, lived in a long term partnership without marriage) and is now seeking marriage to someone who had never ever had a long term relationship – and that too for people 50+? Take in count that one or the other even has children.

Aren't the ideas of lifestyle and expectations as well as experiences as too different?

Looking at the “never married” profiles from let's say 48/50+ I wonder how they handle or think about this.

Would be nice if you shared your thoughts about that … Thank you!

--hide--
There may be times I wonder this.The never married would be someone who has been on their own all their adult life with no major responsibilities but to themselves.He would have been living life his way without having to think about anyone else.It is a big adjustment to live with someone else for anyone.


Then I realise that love and the grace of God will help you through it all.Durng the courtship both individuals should show signs of committment to the relationship.Changes in one's life has to be expected and accepted.I has to be a conscious effort on both parts to make it work.

It is possible. Praying rosary theheart

09/22/2012 new

I've wondered about this myself. Someone who has never been married is usually set in their ways and change after 50 is very hard. I look at myself, I'm 55/widow, and sometimes I hesitate at the idea of dating because I'm comfortable with the way I do things and do I really want to change that?

Then I remember that dating is where you "learn" about each other. There are signs when you are dating someone whether that someone will fit into your lifestyle or not. There is no such thing as a "perfect" fit but a "conditional" fit. Where you agree on the important things and the lesser issues, the details of daily living can be worked out.

So I realize a relationship with someone who has never been married is possible and it's even possible it could work out and as long as we put it in God's hands who knows what could happen?

09/22/2012 new

(Quote) Andrea-850967 said: Could it ever work out when someone who lived previously a long term relationship which is ended...
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said:

Could it ever work out when someone who lived previously a long term relationship which is ended for whatever reason (divorced, widowed, lived in a long term partnership without marriage) and is now seeking marriage to someone who had never ever had a long term relationship – and that too for people 50+? Take in count that one or the other even has children.

Aren't the ideas of lifestyle and expectations as well as experiences as too different?

Looking at the “never married” profiles from let's say 48/50+ I wonder how they handle or think about this.

Would be nice if you shared your thoughts about that … Thank you!

--hide--
Short answer, Andrea: Yup!!!

If we take any stereotype images we have and toss them away as far as possible, we can see that two people who are compatible but have had different life experiences can have a successful marriage. It's the variance in experiences that can add a lot to a marriage. It's determination that counts. This is true even under the most ideal conditions.

In a real life situation, a family friend was divorced, met a man who was never married and the rest is history: a successful marriage of nearly 14 years. They were both in their 50's at the time.

Too often people look at the preconceived notions that exist. The bottom line is that individuals can choose to wallow in these notions just because they think it's expected of them, or they can cast these off and be the best they can be.

The couple can enjoy their own success story if they choose to disregard stereotypical expectations.

09/22/2012 new

I believe and still hope, that everything is possible, if both give their future in God´s hands and let them be guided by HIS will. Of course, it will not always be easy, getting together two adult ways of life, all the habits and everyone´s tics( a priest told me, you have to accept 25 of them by your spouse!!!) But I also think, that you can possibly estimate much more this living together after you have lived long time in single-hood- that´s the advantage of us "oldies"! wink

So let´s be ready, to forget our little EGO and increase our loving heart!

09/22/2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Short answer, Andrea: Yup!!! If we take any stereotype images we have and toss them away as ...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Short answer, Andrea: Yup!!!

If we take any stereotype images we have and toss them away as far as possible, we can see that two people who are compatible but have had different life experiences can have a successful marriage. It's the variance in experiences that can add a lot to a marriage. It's determination that counts. This is true even under the most ideal conditions.

In a real life situation, a family friend was divorced, met a man who was never married and the rest is history: a successful marriage of nearly 14 years. They were both in their 50's at the time.

Too often people look at the preconceived notions that exist. The bottom line is that individuals can choose to wallow in these notions just because they think it's expected of them, or they can cast these off and be the best they can be.

The couple can enjoy their own success story if they choose to disregard stereotypical expectations.

--hide--

Wow Ray, that comes out like from a shot gun wink ... So you really believe in that, right? I fully agree with you on the life experience that that could and would work, but I am not sure that it will work, when one maybe never had a long term relationship of 15, 20 or even more years. If one only had short relationships or never ever even one, then I consider it as a real difficulty and challenge. Of cause it is easy to just say trust in God, but I think yet it is difficult and a challenge. It is that the person with the lesser experience of a partnership has to start learning to not only share the thoughts, the house/flat/living area, bread and butter, friends. No, it is much more...

09/22/2012 new

(Quote) Sherrill-anne-13557 said: There may be times I wonder this.The never married would be someone who has been on their ...
(Quote) Sherrill-anne-13557 said:

There may be times I wonder this.The never married would be someone who has been on their own all their adult life with no major responsibilities but to themselves.He would have been living life his way without having to think about anyone else.It is a big adjustment to live with someone else for anyone.


Then I realise that love and the grace of God will help you through it all.Durng the courtship both individuals should show signs of committment to the relationship.Changes in one's life has to be expected and accepted.I has to be a conscious effort on both parts to make it work.

It is possible.

--hide--

yes, if something is supposed cupid to work out, both have to work on it ...

09/22/2012 new
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said: Could it ever work out when someone who lived previously a long term relationship which is ended for whatever ...
(Quote) Andrea-850967 said:

Could it ever work out when someone who lived previously a long term relationship which is ended for whatever reason (divorced, widowed, lived in a long term partnership without marriage) and is now seeking marriage to someone who had never ever had a long term relationship – and that too for people 50+? Take in count that one or the other even has children.



Aren't the ideas of lifestyle and expectations as well as experiences as too different?



Looking at the “never married” profiles from let's say 48/50+ I wonder how they handle or think about this.



Would be nice if you shared your thoughts about that … Thank you!

--hide--


I have often hoped of having a relationship turn to marriage, and thought I had a shot at it once. The lady decided, for reasons of her own, that there were too many issues to get past. While it is a bit upsetting, I hope to have a chance again.
09/22/2012 new

(Quote) Ulrike-857098 said: I believe and still hope, that everything is possible, if both give their future in God´s ...
(Quote) Ulrike-857098 said:

I believe and still hope, that everything is possible, if both give their future in God´s hands and let them be guided by HIS will. Of course, it will not always be easy, getting together two adult ways of life, all the habits and everyone´s tics( a priest told me, you have to accept 25 of them by your spouse!!!) But I also think, that you can possibly estimate much more this living together after you have lived long time in single-hood- that´s the advantage of us "oldies"!

So let´s be ready, to forget our little EGO and increase our loving heart!

--hide--

Hello lady's handkerchief Ulrike, welcome wave to the forum and do post often, so the all the wonderful knight-errant get to know you better!!

09/22/2012 new

(Quote) Chris-280015 said: I have often hoped of having a relationship turn to marriage, and thought I had a shot at it onc...
(Quote) Chris-280015 said:

I have often hoped of having a relationship turn to marriage, and thought I had a shot at it once. The lady decided, for reasons of her own, that there were too many issues to get past. While it is a bit upsetting, I hope to have a chance again.
--hide--

Chris, there are always issues to get past when something does not work out boggled. It would be good when we find out which those issues are ... faint scratchchin

... but don't give up!

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