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A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

Saint Paula is the patron saint of widows and Saint Stephen is the patron saint of deacons
Learn More: Saint Stephen and Saint Paula

My husband wanted to be at home and not in the hospital during his last weeks. One night I was so exhausted and my grandson said he would come over to sit with my husband so I could get some much needed rest. When I went to bed I fell into a very deep sleep. I had this dream..............in the dream some time had passed after my husband passed away and I knew my son who has a disability was OK. I was leaving an office when I decided to get a cup of coffee but I didn't know the area well so I decided to just walk till I found a coffee shop. As I started walking down the street a feeling of such peace, contentment and well being came over me like I had never known before. I was OK, I was happy. When I awakened I knew God had given me such a blessing. I knew no matter what happened that I would be OK. I thank Him everyday for this blessing because it's what get's me through. Whenever I get so miserable, when I feel I cannot breath I remember this dream and I start breathing again knowing this day will come. Whether it takes a year or 10 years this day will come. I will make it through.

Please share how God has shown you that you will be OK. That defining moment that lights your path.

May God Bless each and everyone of you on your life journey :-)

Sep 22nd 2012 new

I can tell you the exact day--June 25th, less than two months after my husband was assassinated. I had just received the autopsy pictures and report. I didn't intend to look at the pictures, but the words did not match what the military had told me about my Phil's death. I looked at the pictures and totally broke. I have never been there since or even before. Looking at my husband's bullet-riddled body crushed me. I ran to bed and threw the covers over my head. I have never done that since. I lay weeping and totally broken. I asked God why Phil and why not me. I had nothing to live for. I begged him to take me that very minute. I felt an electric jolt and saw me standing with a man at an altar in front of a priest. I cried on and thought that I was losing it. I felt a bigger jolt and saw the same picture. I was terrified. I jumped out of bed and tripped in the blankets. As I lay on the floor, I looked up. I saw the first double rainbow I had ever seen. Peace flooded my heart.


I can't say that the road has been easy, but I can say that I have never felt that darkness since. I have and I still do believe that all is well with my soul. I will never understand the brutality or the total betrayal, but I can see the hand of God working. I have also never had anything like that happen since.

Sep 22nd 2012 new

I had a feeling of calm through most of Bob's illness and passing that things would be okay, but I remember vividly the moment when I KNEW that I would. It was ten months after his death and I was in church for adoration. The loneliness, the pain, the fear of raising my children without him and the weight of losing my job a few months before that overwhelmed me. I sat crying in the back pews, wondering how God could have made such a huge mistake. Fear gripped me and I had no idea how I was supposed to get by on my own. I looked up and focused all my attention on the ninth station of the cross. "Jesus fell a third time." With tears streaming, I felt God's understanding. He was no stranger to suffering. He had watched his own child suffer in the most inconceivable way. A warmth engulfed me and I knew I would never be alone. My fear was instantly removed. I knew my kids would be fine, that I would be fine, that He was close at hand and would never leave me. I have never again experienced the desolation that I had that morning. I do believe it is when my heart began to heal.

Sep 22nd 2012 new
Last spring during lent I was visiting St Andrew's Catholic church in Moore. I was praying in front of the exposed Eurcharist, asking God why my son, and next to the Eucharist is a life sized statue of the Pieta, seeing Jesus laying in Mary's arms I started crying because at that moment I knew my pain was united with his Mothers.

This summer while traveling with my niece the Priest in Baton Rouge, LA gave a sermon based upon a former. Parishioner who lost her husband and had just found out she had terminal cancer. When she asked for an appt he started praying because he had no clue how to comfort her. When she came to see him, she said Father, I am not here for you to give me comfort, I am here to give you a message, I am ok, my pain is united with the suffering of Jesus and Mary.

Hearing that sermon confirmed what I already knew, God knows best and does hear my prayers. angel rosary theheart Praying
Sep 30th 2012 new

We came to the United States in 1986 on a medical visa. My then 10-year old daughter needed a chemotheraphy after losing her left-leg from a malignant bone cancer called "osteosarcoma." Out stay was only valid for 5 years, renewable every year with a doctor's recommendation. After five years we became "illegal." We overstayed our visa for another five years until the time came that my children would be entering college, they could not because of our immigration status. We consulted an immigration lawyer about our case, and the lawyer told us that there is a relief program that we can avail of, but we have to surrender ourselves to the immigration office and get the "deportation order." Using that document the lawyer would file a reconsideration of our situation under the relief program. I asked the lawyer what was our chance of being approved. He said just 1%, ninety-nine percent we will be deported. I looked at my husband (now my ex) and my children, then turned to the lawyer. I said to him. "We will give the 1% to God. Nothing is impossible with Him." The lawyer worked on the process charging us only $4,000.00 for the four of us. We surrendered to the immigration office, we got the deportation order, and then we have to face the trial. On the day of the trial we were so nervous and just sit quietly on our bench. The immigration judge called both lawyers and they talked in whispers, then our lawyer turned to us - we were approved, and we got our green cards - without the hearing. My children were able to get into college, finished their Masters in Business Administration in Accounting from a private Catholic University on a scholarship. I paid their first year tuition fee on installment with a request to my children that they have to get good grades to get full scholarship for the remaining years. Now were are Naturalized US citizens doing everything we can to be worthy of the privilege through community service and church involvement.

If you have time, you could also read my posting on "Good Deeds...Good news" topic in this forum. I am a self-published book author and I planned to culminate my writing career with a book that tells about my journey to LIFE. The title is "My Exodus: Crossing the Barriers of Fear, Pain, and Suffering." I also have a very abusive marriage of 36 years which I ended last year, June 2012. Like the Israelites, when God delivers them to the promised land, He was all along with them, and so is He with us.

Oct 1st 2012 new
(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said: We came to the United States in 1986 on a medical visa. My then 10-year old daughter needed a chemotheraph...
(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said:

We came to the United States in 1986 on a medical visa. My then 10-year old daughter needed a chemotheraphy after losing her left-leg from a malignant bone cancer called "osteosarcoma." Out stay was only valid for 5 years, renewable every year with a doctor's recommendation. After five years we became "illegal." We overstayed our visa for another five years until the time came that my children would be entering college, they could not because of our immigration status. We consulted an immigration lawyer about our case, and the lawyer told us that there is a relief program that we can avail of, but we have to surrender ourselves to the immigration office and get the "deportation order." Using that document the lawyer would file a reconsideration of our situation under the relief program. I asked the lawyer what was our chance of being approved. He said just 1%, ninety-nine percent we will be deported. I looked at my husband (now my ex) and my children, then turned to the lawyer. I said to him. "We will give the 1% to God. Nothing is impossible with Him." The lawyer worked on the process charging us only $4,000.00 for the four of us. We surrendered to the immigration office, we got the deportation order, and then we have to face the trial. On the day of the trial we were so nervous and just sit quietly on our bench. The immigration judge called both lawyers and they talked in whispers, then our lawyer turned to us - we were approved, and we got our green cards - without the hearing. My children were able to get into college, finished their Masters in Business Administration in Accounting from a private Catholic University on a scholarship. I paid their first year tuition fee on installment with a request to my children that they have to get good grades to get full scholarship for the remaining years. Now were are Naturalized US citizens doing everything we can to be worthy of the privilege through community service and church involvement.



If you have time, you could also read my posting on "Good Deeds...Good news" topic in this forum. I am a self-published book author and I planned to culminate my writing career with a book that tells about my journey to LIFE. The title is "My Exodus: Crossing the Barriers of Fear, Pain, and Suffering." I also have a very abusive marriage of 36 years which I ended last year, June 2012. Like the Israelites, when God delivers them to the promised land, He was all along with them, and so is He with us.

--hide--
thank you for sharing your remarkable story, you are such an inspiration

hug
Oct 1st 2012 new

I never thought I would share this one on CM because it is so special and private.....yet I think ALL should know that dreams can be fulfilling and peaceful.

I had fearful thoughts about how/when the hour would draw near for my Mom to pass away. Her impending death scared me. I had thoughts of "what do I do.....and how do I handle the others?" (my Father included) After all I was the one assigned to coordinate everything including the will.

About a month out....(from her death) I had a dream. I dreamed she and I were walking down a white road. She looked at me as if to say..."Which way do we go?" (for the road led to a crossroads left and right and went on ahead also....up a hill) I said "I don't know Mama" Just as I said this....a lady dressed in white....(you can only guess who!) started walking down the hill towards us. She was beautiful! She had on the gold lame running the entire length of the robes she had on. She walked....but sort of "glided" I said, "Oh Mom....look who is going to show you the way!" So I let go of her and she walked up to her (never looking back but staring up at the white Lady) The Lady in white looked over her shoulder (my Mom's) and stared directly at me. Her lips did not move but there was a type of conveyance. What came from her was: "You don't have to worry about your Mother anymore. I'm going to take care of her" I had goose bumps in the dream then! They both walked forward and up the hill while I waited at the crossroads. Both were engaged in conversation. And the white lady every once in awhile would sort of toss her head back laughing. Her arm was around my Mom's waist and off they went. I was overjoyed and saddened at the same time. Because it was goodbye....and Mom never looked back (guess that was the selfish part of me!) When I awoke there was moisture coming down my cheeks....oops. But I guess the message here is not so much what happened in a dream...but what happened after. The last month I was calm and unafraid....and handled everything. Everything was indeed okay~

Oct 1st 2012 new

Jerry, this is a beautiful reminder of how God speaks to us in the quiet. If your mom had told you not to worry, you would have fretted still. All those rosaries she was known to pray kept the Blessed Mother close to her heart. She was probably worried about you. I have read from oncologists that there is a time of grace before death where the patient feels no fear. I have been at the side of my grandma and my husband in their final days and I believe it is true, God protects them. I've also heard that we are promised that Mary and Jesus escort us from this life into the next. It seems like you were given a glimpse if that.

I find it nothing short of a miracle that your fears were put to rest in this way. Thank you for sharing.

Oct 1st 2012 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: I never thought I would share this one on CM because it is so special and private.....yet I think ALL should kn...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

I never thought I would share this one on CM because it is so special and private.....yet I think ALL should know that dreams can be fulfilling and peaceful.



I had fearful thoughts about how/when the hour would draw near for my Mom to pass away. Her impending death scared me. I had thoughts of "what do I do.....and how do I handle the others?" (my Father included) After all I was the one assigned to coordinate everything including the will.



About a month out....(from her death) I had a dream. I dreamed she and I were walking down a white road. She looked at me as if to say..."Which way do we go?" (for the road led to a crossroads left and right and went on ahead also....up a hill) I said "I don't know Mama" Just as I said this....a lady dressed in white....(you can only guess who!) started walking down the hill towards us. She was beautiful! She had on the gold lame running the entire length of the robes she had on. She walked....but sort of "glided" I said, "Oh Mom....look who is going to show you the way!" So I let go of her and she walked up to her (never looking back but staring up at the white Lady) The Lady in white looked over her shoulder (my Mom's) and stared directly at me. Her lips did not move but there was a type of conveyance. What came from her was: "You don't have to worry about your Mother anhymore. I'm going to take care of her" I had goose bumps in the dream then! They both walked forward and up the hill while I waited at the crossroads. Both were engaged in conversation. And the white lady every once in awhile would sort of toss her head back laughing. Her arm was around my Mom's waist and off they went. I was overjoyed and saddened at the same time. Because it was goodbye....and Mom never looked back (guess that was the selfish part of me!) When I awoke there was moisture coming down my cheeks....oops. But I guess the message here is not so much what happened in a dream...but what happened after. The last month I was calm and unafraid....and handled everything. Everything was indeed okay~

--hide--
Jerry, thank you so much for sharing this. It is such a special dream. I know your Mom is still looking after you!!
Oct 1st 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: I never thought I would share this one on CM because it is so special and private.....yet I think...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

I never thought I would share this one on CM because it is so special and private.....yet I think ALL should know that dreams can be fulfilling and peaceful.

I had fearful thoughts about how/when the hour would draw near for my Mom to pass away. Her impending death scared me. I had thoughts of "what do I do.....and how do I handle the others?" (my Father included) After all I was the one assigned to coordinate everything including the will.

About a month out....(from her death) I had a dream. I dreamed she and I were walking down a white road. She looked at me as if to say..."Which way do we go?" (for the road led to a crossroads left and right and went on ahead also....up a hill) I said "I don't know Mama" Just as I said this....a lady dressed in white....(you can only guess who!) started walking down the hill towards us. She was beautiful! She had on the gold lame running the entire length of the robes she had on. She walked....but sort of "glided" I said, "Oh Mom....look who is going to show you the way!" So I let go of her and she walked up to her (never looking back but staring up at the white Lady) The Lady in white looked over her shoulder (my Mom's) and stared directly at me. Her lips did not move but there was a type of conveyance. What came from her was: "You don't have to worry about your Mother anymore. I'm going to take care of her" I had goose bumps in the dream then! They both walked forward and up the hill while I waited at the crossroads. Both were engaged in conversation. And the white lady every once in awhile would sort of toss her head back laughing. Her arm was around my Mom's waist and off they went. I was overjoyed and saddened at the same time. Because it was goodbye....and Mom never looked back (guess that was the selfish part of me!) When I awoke there was moisture coming down my cheeks....oops. But I guess the message here is not so much what happened in a dream...but what happened after. The last month I was calm and unafraid....and handled everything. Everything was indeed okay~

--hide--
Jerry, thank you for sharing your beautiful dream with us. Just another example of God giving us what we need, when we need it. Or in this example, the Blessed Mother, and your beloved Mother giving you the peace you needed.

Your sharing has inspired me to share a VERY personal story as well. I've looked at this thread for over a week and kept debating whether or not to post my story of the day I knew everything was going to be okay. Well here goes......

Bob passed away on Nov. 15th, 2008, at home. As Kathy stated in an earlier post to you, the peaceful passing he had was nothing short of a miracle. God was truly merciful.

Anyway, three weeks after Bob passed I found myself enrolled in the RCIA. (Bob was Catholic, I was not). All through the RCIA process I was a woman in deep mourning, but knew this is what the Holy Spirit had called me to do. Some days all I could do was sit there and cry, but none the less I knew this is where I should be.

As the time approached closer to my being welcomed into the Catholic Church at Easter Vigil (March 2009) I wondered if I could make it through the confirmation without sobbing before the whole congregation, as this was certainly my pattern thus far while attending Mass and RCIA. Anyway, on Good Friday I was kneeling, praying, and crying before the Veneration of the Cross was to take place. When it came time for me to approach the Cross I was sobbing hysterically. I went forward, kissed the feet of Jesus, and then went back to my pew. I knelt down and started praying through the sobs. I finally just turned my hands up toward Jesus and asked him to help me. I told him that I'm turning all this pain over to him. I humbly asked him to help me get through the next night at the Vigil. It was the first time I had surrendered all my pain to Jesus. At that moment I looked up and saw Jesus standing at the altar with his arms outstretched toward me. I, like you, had more of a conveyance of words from Jesus. He told me not to worry any longer, as Bob was resting with him now.

I can't tell you how much of a burden was lifted from me at that moment. For the first time since Bob's passing I knew everything was going to be okay. I left Church with a much lighter heart and was actually looking forward to the Easter Vigil. I had worried so much about the bittersweet feelings I would have, as Bob wasn't there to share in this joyous event. But God was merciful to me on that Good Friday. He gave me what I needed, when I needed it. Maybe because that was the first time I had truly turned everything over to Him. All my pain and sorrow were in Jesus' hands.

Once again Jerry, thank you for sharing, and giving me the courage to share my story. God bless you. Praying rosary hug

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