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This room is for those who have lost a spouse and need support or who can provide support to those who have.

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Oct 1st 2012 new

Linda, I'm in tears reading this. Peace and blessings to you, dear one.

Oct 1st 2012 new
(Quote) Linda-624584 said: Jerry, thank you for sharing your beautiful dream with us. Just another example of God giving us what we need, ...
(Quote) Linda-624584 said:

Jerry, thank you for sharing your beautiful dream with us. Just another example of God giving us what we need, when we need it. Or in this example, the Blessed Mother, and your beloved Mother giving you the peace you needed.





Your sharing has inspired me to share a VERY personal story as well. I've looked at this thread for over a week and kept debating whether or not to post my story of the day I knew everything was going to be okay. Well here goes......





Bob passed away on Nov. 15th, 2008, at home. As Kathy stated in an earlier post to you, the peaceful passing he had was nothing short of a miracle. God was truly merciful.





Anyway, three weeks after Bob passed I found myself enrolled in the RCIA. (Bob was Catholic, I was not). All through the RCIA process I was a woman in deep mourning, but knew this is what the Holy Spirit had called me to do. Some days all I could do was sit there and cry, but none the less I knew this is where I should be.





As the time approached closer to my being welcomed into the Catholic Church at Easter Vigil (March 2009) I wondered if I could make it through the confirmation without sobbing before the whole congregation, as this was certainly my pattern thus far while attending Mass and RCIA. Anyway, on Good Friday I was kneeling, praying, and crying before the Veneration of the Cross was to take place. When it came time for me to approach the Cross I was sobbing hysterically. I went forward, kissed the feet of Jesus, and then went back to my pew. I knelt down and started praying through the sobs. I finally just turned my hands up toward Jesus and asked him to help me. I told him that I'm turning all this pain over to him. I humbly asked him to help me get through the next night at the Vigil. It was the first time I had surrendered all my pain to Jesus. At that moment I looked up and saw Jesus standing at the altar with his arms outstretched toward me. I, like you, had more of a conveyance of words from Jesus. He told me not to worry any longer, as Bob was resting with him now.





I can't tell you how much of a burden was lifted from me at that moment. For the first time since Bob's passing I knew everything was going to be okay. I left Church with a much lighter heart and was actually looking forward to the Easter Vigil. I had worried so much about the bittersweet feelings I would have, as Bob wasn't there to share in this joyous event. But God was merciful to me on that Good Friday. He gave me what I needed, when I needed it. Maybe because that was the first time I had truly turned everything over to Him. All my pain and sorrow were in Jesus' hands.





Once again Jerry, thank you for sharing, and giving me the courage to share my story. God bless you.

--hide--
Linda, Thank you so much for sharing, I really needed to read your uplifting story tonight. I have been on the verge of tears since yesterday. Birthdays are the most difficult time for me. And mine will be this Sunday, the Feast day of Our Lady of the Rosary. From the time Andrew was little I allowed him to plan my Birthday treats. I remember when he was four & we were going to counseling to get a little help for me to learn how to deal with a very strong willed child who had more energy than most I asked him where do you want to go for Mommy's birthday? And the answer was Chucky Cheese, so we went there & had so much fun eating pizza & playing games. It is when birthday time rolls around that I miss him most because that birthday became what was normal for us, when it was my birthday he chose, then when his birthday fell November 7th we would typically have a huge celebration & invite all of his friends. I think the most I have cooked tacos for is 25. I have been praying about how best to honor his birthday this year since it is the day before I leave on my trip, and I think I need to find a group who feeds the hungry & either donate my time or my treasure or both in honor of my son....

scratchchin
Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: I never thought I would share this one on CM because it is so special and private.....yet I think...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

I never thought I would share this one on CM because it is so special and private.....yet I think ALL should know that dreams can be fulfilling and peaceful.

I had fearful thoughts about how/when the hour would draw near for my Mom to pass away. Her impending death scared me. I had thoughts of "what do I do.....and how do I handle the others?" (my Father included) After all I was the one assigned to coordinate everything including the will.

About a month out....(from her death) I had a dream. I dreamed she and I were walking down a white road. She looked at me as if to say..."Which way do we go?" (for the road led to a crossroads left and right and went on ahead also....up a hill) I said "I don't know Mama" Just as I said this....a lady dressed in white....(you can only guess who!) started walking down the hill towards us. She was beautiful! She had on the gold lame running the entire length of the robes she had on. She walked....but sort of "glided" I said, "Oh Mom....look who is going to show you the way!" So I let go of her and she walked up to her (never looking back but staring up at the white Lady) The Lady in white looked over her shoulder (my Mom's) and stared directly at me. Her lips did not move but there was a type of conveyance. What came from her was: "You don't have to worry about your Mother anymore. I'm going to take care of her" I had goose bumps in the dream then! They both walked forward and up the hill while I waited at the crossroads. Both were engaged in conversation. And the white lady every once in awhile would sort of toss her head back laughing. Her arm was around my Mom's waist and off they went. I was overjoyed and saddened at the same time. Because it was goodbye....and Mom never looked back (guess that was the selfish part of me!) When I awoke there was moisture coming down my cheeks....oops. But I guess the message here is not so much what happened in a dream...but what happened after. The last month I was calm and unafraid....and handled everything. Everything was indeed okay~

--hide--


Thank you for sharing this, Jerry. I think the biggest block to human interactions and friendship is someone being afraid to share himself/herself which is a fault I often have...something of a protection mechnism so we won't get hurt. The unfortunate thing in protecting ourselves from being hurt, we deny ourselves the friendship such honesty will bring. You, it appears, have learned the wonderful lesson that is in making ourselves vulnerable we allow ourselves to be loved. Good for you, Jerry, and thank you for reminding us that the Blessed Mother is there for us all.


God bless,


- Elizabeth

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: Thank you for sharing this, Jerry. I think the biggest block to human interactions an...
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said:



Thank you for sharing this, Jerry. I think the biggest block to human interactions and friendship is someone being afraid to share himself/herself which is a fault I often have...something of a protection mechnism so we won't get hurt. The unfortunate thing in protecting ourselves from being hurt, we deny ourselves the friendship such honesty will bring. You, it appears, have learned the wonderful lesson that is in making ourselves vulnerable we allow ourselves to be loved. Good for you, Jerry, and thank you for reminding us that the Blessed Mother is there for us all.


God bless,


- Elizabeth

--hide--
Thank you for your kind comments Elizabeth. I later thought: "Well it was befitting Blessed Mother came to get her...since she (my Mom) was so dedicated to her; never missing her daily rosary and mental prayer. People would actually come to her with their problems and ask for advice. If she didn't know she would say...."I don't know the answer to your problem...but I will pray and we'll find the answer"

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Linda-624584 said: Jerry, thank you for sharing your beautiful dream with us. Just another example of God giving us ...
(Quote) Linda-624584 said:

Jerry, thank you for sharing your beautiful dream with us. Just another example of God giving us what we need, when we need it. Or in this example, the Blessed Mother, and your beloved Mother giving you the peace you needed.

Your sharing has inspired me to share a VERY personal story as well. I've looked at this thread for over a week and kept debating whether or not to post my story of the day I knew everything was going to be okay. Well here goes......

Bob passed away on Nov. 15th, 2008, at home. As Kathy stated in an earlier post to you, the peaceful passing he had was nothing short of a miracle. God was truly merciful.

Anyway, three weeks after Bob passed I found myself enrolled in the RCIA. (Bob was Catholic, I was not). All through the RCIA process I was a woman in deep mourning, but knew this is what the Holy Spirit had called me to do. Some days all I could do was sit there and cry, but none the less I knew this is where I should be.

As the time approached closer to my being welcomed into the Catholic Church at Easter Vigil (March 2009) I wondered if I could make it through the confirmation without sobbing before the whole congregation, as this was certainly my pattern thus far while attending Mass and RCIA. Anyway, on Good Friday I was kneeling, praying, and crying before the Veneration of the Cross was to take place. When it came time for me to approach the Cross I was sobbing hysterically. I went forward, kissed the feet of Jesus, and then went back to my pew. I knelt down and started praying through the sobs. I finally just turned my hands up toward Jesus and asked him to help me. I told him that I'm turning all this pain over to him. I humbly asked him to help me get through the next night at the Vigil. It was the first time I had surrendered all my pain to Jesus. At that moment I looked up and saw Jesus standing at the altar with his arms outstretched toward me. I, like you, had more of a conveyance of words from Jesus. He told me not to worry any longer, as Bob was resting with him now.

I can't tell you how much of a burden was lifted from me at that moment. For the first time since Bob's passing I knew everything was going to be okay. I left Church with a much lighter heart and was actually looking forward to the Easter Vigil. I had worried so much about the bittersweet feelings I would have, as Bob wasn't there to share in this joyous event. But God was merciful to me on that Good Friday. He gave me what I needed, when I needed it. Maybe because that was the first time I had truly turned everything over to Him. All my pain and sorrow were in Jesus' hands.

Once again Jerry, thank you for sharing, and giving me the courage to share my story. God bless you.

--hide--
Great story Linda. We all can benefit from these things

Oct 2nd 2012 new

Jerry, Kathy, and Brenda,

Thank you all for acknowledging my story. It truly was something I debated about for a week. I kept thinking that folks would think I was nuts in describing what I saw on that Good Friday. I know it was real, as sure as I know my own name.

If my story touches one person, then it was worth taking the chance in posting it.

God bless you all. Praying hug hug hug

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Linda-624584 said: Jerry, Kathy, and Brenda, Thank you all for acknowledging my story. It truly was ...
(Quote) Linda-624584 said:

Jerry, Kathy, and Brenda,

Thank you all for acknowledging my story. It truly was something I debated about for a week. I kept thinking that folks would think I was nuts in describing what I saw on that Good Friday. I know it was real, as sure as I know my own name.

If my story touches one person, then it was worth taking the chance in posting it.

God bless you all.

--hide--
Of course it was. I can probably speak for Kathy and Brenda.....and safely say it will touch others as well as us!

Oct 2nd 2012 new
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said: Of course it was. I can probably speak for Kathy and Brenda.....and safely say it will touch others as well as ...
(Quote) Jerry-730726 said:

Of course it was. I can probably speak for Kathy and Brenda.....and safely say it will touch others as well as us!

--hide--


It definatelly touched my heart - would love to meet you in person one day
Oct 2nd 2012 new

When my spirit became free my mind and body followed. Went through a period of repair and worked diligently to feel alive again. Was numb but could see outside myself that the life was being sucked out of me. Have always been a person to help others but this time I had to save myself. It was hard to grasp that I was the one in need now and didnt know how to ask for help. Grieving group helped me understand the stages and how common they were. Not fully fitted on the saddle again but know I am headed in the right direction.

Oct 3rd 2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Jerry, this is a beautiful reminder of how God speaks to us in the quiet. If your mom had told yo...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Jerry, this is a beautiful reminder of how God speaks to us in the quiet. If your mom had told you not to worry, you would have fretted still. All those rosaries she was known to pray kept the Blessed Mother close to her heart. She was probably worried about you. I have read from oncologists that there is a time of grace before death where the patient feels no fear. I have been at the side of my grandma and my husband in their final days and I believe it is true, God protects them. I've also heard that we are promised that Mary and Jesus escort us from this life into the next. It seems like you were given a glimpse if that.

I find it nothing short of a miracle that your fears were put to rest in this way. Thank you for sharing.

--hide--
Kathy, thank you. And I do indeed believe this because I witnessed it when I was by her (my Mom's) side when the time came. She looked at peace. The hospice nurse warned us that the moment (of passing) could be a tough sight to behold. I said, "No....she will die in peace. There will be no awkward moments." (in hindsight I don't know how/why I said this) But I was right. She died totally in peace and displayed total acceptance. In fact, when the actual moment passed my Mother became beautiful in death. Her skin was radiant. Course she was (by her own admission) vain and had always taken care of her skin anyway. But this was different. All the lines of struggle had disappeared. It was tough losing her....she was....after all, the "centerpiece" of the family...but I was happy and unafraid~

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