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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) John-593352 said: I appreciate everyone's replies and totally agree with many of your points. There just may be ...
(Quote) John-593352 said:

I appreciate everyone's replies and totally agree with many of your points. There just may be an underlying issue to the weight gain that needs to be discovered and addressed. One person has told me before that the weight gain could've easily come from a skewed self concept in the first place. So, a better spiritual relationship with God is imminent in all matters not just the one I'm currently facing. Focusing on the worldly problem just may be the problem! I also liked the suggestion that women like the fixer up guys lol. I just may need a lady to love me and fix me up . I know that I need to continue to progress in my relationship with God and I know it will work it self out. Thank you all for your time.

--hide--
Maybe a little caution is in order before you find a woman looking for a fixer-upper. What happens once you're fixed and, to her, the job is finished?????

Oct 2nd 2012 new
(Quote) Laura-695247 said: John, I good friend told me it is never the wrong time to meet someone! Although I am not sure if that ...
(Quote) Laura-695247 said:



John, I good friend told me it is never the wrong time to meet someone! Although I am not sure if that is true during extreme life drama...(just after a death, breakup etc)...in general I think she is right. Stay open! You might meet someone in your weight loss struggle...cause we ladies are ALWAYS trying to lose a few pounds. And this may be a bit pathetic...but a LOT of women like fixer-up guys. Women wanna solve problems and help. It is our nature. It is true we often like those ultra self secure types too...but that can be a bit much....don't underestimate or pass over the women who want to get involved and help:o) Of all the things I can tell guys (women too)...good personal hygiene goes a LONG way....dress nice, get that hair cut- on the head and in the ears (ewww) ...look after yourself...I well put-together guy who might be a few pounds too heavy, if a lady feels some attractions, she won't even notice- I promise!

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Laura, this is very good advice!!rose
Oct 2nd 2012 new
(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Dan-656122 said: ( signed; hopelessly postive thinking romantic) -...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Quote:
Dan-656122 said:





( signed; hopelessly postive thinking romantic) -------> easy to be hopelessly positive when the Vikings are 3-1 and the only team thus far to have beaten the 49ers. Yeah, baby! Me thinks you're related to Dawn 58330 who is the purveryor of positivity, as you too are purveying positivity.




You're positively positive about the positivity????

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I'm positive someone said something about accentuating the positive! thumbsup Thank you, Dan-baby!rose
Oct 2nd 2012 new
(Quote) Ray-566531 said: Greetings, John -- First of all, we want to welcome you to the CM forums. You've found your way here. If you&...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Greetings, John -- First of all, we want to welcome you to the CM forums. You've found your way here. If you've been browsing and lurking, you know there are many topics that relate to everyday life, problems and solutions; you'll find wisdom, knowledge and solid suggestions here, many coupled with a sprinkle of humor.



You've started off with a serious question -- one that is difficult to give a 100% correct answer.



Wonder no more about self-esteem tanking relationship potential. Your first and foremost goal is on target. Ultimately, you're here to be of service to Him -- that's of primary importance. It's the only thing that will last forever. Self-esteem can be at an all time high if you are in good standing with the Good Lord.



While we're here, we're expected to take good care of ourselves, being "temples" of the Holy Spirit. as it is said. We're not perfect in this by any means, nor are we in our behavior. But it's important to be trying -- making progress or at least trying to make progress. Sometimes our obstacles are difficult to overcome.



Weight problems? You're not alone, but that's really not much of a comfort to you. The question that comes to mind is the reason for your "major weight gain". There could be some underlying medical problem, and I hope if that's a possibility that you've been checked out by a doctor. Lack of activity and dietary habits are both a major cause. If that's the case, you know what you have to do. It'll take discipline and patience, along with lifestyle changes, but your health will improve, your weight problem will be reduced (no pun intended), and your self-esteem will rise.



In the meantime, you can feel free to seek a relationship or companionship. No reason not to. If your situation is a concern to a woman who is drawing your interest, you can be open and honest. Perhaps a compassionate woman will be able to help you achieve your worldly goals that you have mentioned. People come in all shapes, sizes, and colors -- it makes the world a more interesting place. Each one of us is unique. We see married couples, and couples in a relationship that will probably lead to marriage with all different appearances. What's important is our core values -- what's inside of us, our personality, our spirituality.



Stay focused -- especially spiritually. Ask Him for help. No -- you won't lose weight just by saying a prayer, but you can gain the fortitude to pursue your goal. Try it -- you have nothing to lose except some weight.



(A little PS -- if you haven't been involved in an exercise routine, consult with your doctor so you can find some ways that are safe for you.)

--hide--
Ray, thank you for always giving such helpful and welcoming answers to our new posters! You make us all look good. hug
Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: Ray, thank you for always giving such helpful and welcoming answers to our new posters! You make us all lo...
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: Ray, thank you for always giving such helpful and welcoming answers to our new posters! You make us all look good.
--hide--


Agreed Dawn, Ray is a good egg!!!
and Yeah Dan baby, Go Vikes! (can you believe it!)

Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Karen-712407 said: Agreed Dawn, Ray is a good egg!!!
(Quote) Karen-712407 said:



Agreed Dawn, Ray is a good egg!!!

--hide--

It helps that he's slightly cracked. wink hug

Oct 2nd 2012 new
(Quote) John-593352 said: I appreciate everyone's replies and totally agree with many of your points. There just may be an underlying...
(Quote) John-593352 said:

I appreciate everyone's replies and totally agree with many of your points. There just may be an underlying issue to the weight gain that needs to be discovered and addressed. One person has told me before that the weight gain could've easily come from a skewed self concept in the first place. So, a better spiritual relationship with God is imminent in all matters not just the one I'm currently facing. Focusing on the worldly problem just may be the problem! I also liked the suggestion that women like the fixer up guys lol. I just may need a lady to love me and fix me up . I know that I need to continue to progress in my relationship with God and I know it will work it self out. Thank you all for your time.

--hide--


Take it from someone who used to have low self-esteem issues all the time (now they only creep up now and then), our personal relationship with God is at the core! When I finally learned that this life was not about me, but about Him and His work for me, I found my self-esteem rising. How could God be choosing a wrong person for His work? He doesn't!! That's just it-- He knows what ahe is doing. The less I focus on me, the more I am confident. My confidence is in the Lord! (I think St. Paul wrote something similar.) In terms of dating, if I am to believe that God put me in someone's life because He wants me to be a blessing to him (and he a blessing to me), then who am I to doubt Him? I just have to work on being the best tool for God to use.

In many ways this is an issue of humility. I've heard "humity" defined as "having the correct sense of our place in the universe--neither too small nor too big, neither too grand or too lowly." Low self-esteem is a vice as much as arrogance. Humility is in the balance of the two. We all struggle with it in one way or the other.

It sounds like you are making good progress! Forward, go, warrior! knight-errant
Oct 2nd 2012 new

(Quote) Dawn-58330 said: Take it from someone who used to have low self-esteem issues all the time (now they only creep up ...
(Quote) Dawn-58330 said:

Take it from someone who used to have low self-esteem issues all the time (now they only creep up now and then), our personal relationship with God is at the core! When I finally learned that this life was not about me, but about Him and His work for me, I found my self-esteem rising. How could God be choosing a wrong person for His work? He doesn't!! That's just it-- He knows what ahe is doing. The less I focus on me, the more I am confident. My confidence is in the Lord! (I think St. Paul wrote something similar.) In terms of dating, if I am to believe that God put me in someone's life because He wants me to be a blessing to him (and he a blessing to me), then who am I to doubt Him? I just have to work on being the best tool for God to use.

In many ways this is an issue of humility. I've heard "humity" defined as "having the correct sense of our place in the universe--neither too small nor too big, neither too grand or too lowly." Low self-esteem is a vice as much as arrogance. Humility is in the balance of the two. We all struggle with it in one way or the other.

It sounds like you are making good progress! Forward, go, warrior!
--hide--


Good post, Dawn! thumbsup
As far as my self-esteem goes, it's a see-saw ride or a pendulum swing. At times certain recognition makes me feel really good about myself, but I temper that with humble thoughts. More often than not lately, that self-esteem has been sinking. What has really helped are posts such as yours, Dawn, and several others in this thread. Is it new information for me? No. They're gentle reminder of things that I (or any person) forget when we feel low. And the fact that, at times, people DO forget the basics--that we are important because God made us, Jesus died for us, we are here to help others, etc--it's all the more important to be a part of an affirming community, who offer support when we start to sink, and a hand up when we're quite low.
We need each other!

Oct 2nd 2012 new
(Quote) Lina-796057 said: Good post, Dawn! As far as my self-esteem goes, it's a see-saw ride or a pendulum swing. At tim...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:



Good post, Dawn!
As far as my self-esteem goes, it's a see-saw ride or a pendulum swing. At times certain recognition makes me feel really good about myself, but I temper that with humble thoughts. More often than not lately, that self-esteem has been sinking. What has really helped are posts such as yours, Dawn, and several others in this thread. Is it new information for me? No. They're gentle reminder of things that I (or any person) forget when we feel low. And the fact that, at times, people DO forget the basics--that we are important because God made us, Jesus died for us, we are here to help others, etc--it's all the more important to be a part of an affirming community, who offer support when we start to sink, and a hand up when we're quite low.
We need each other!

--hide--


hug You are such an honest and beautiful soul, Lina. Yep, sometimes the very people who need evangelization are ourselves! We need to be reminded of the Good News rose
Oct 2nd 2012 new

Yes, I believe that low self steem is a problem when finding the right person, as well as to be successful in other endeavors. Everyone has talents and traits to feel proud of him/herself. It is important for us and for others to feel we are good, caring people and deserve a first and second look and feel good about our own strengths. My husband did not have a low self esteem, but he was a quiet, unassuming man and I always was the total opposite, very sure of myself and successful at most things I did in my life, so it was difficult to relate sometimes. I was too gregarious and he was too quiet.

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