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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

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10/08/2012 new
Chill out, guys. I'm scratching my head trying to see the "male-bashing" in this thread. Not really picking up on it.
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10/08/2012 new

Hmm. As I see it, women are encouraging men to ask them questions so as to show interest in the woman and to get to know her better,
and men want women also to ask questions of them for the same reasons.

If one doesn't respond much to questions, then that is either an indication of shyness/nervousness, lack of interest or lack of personality. If one monopolizes the conversation or talks abundantly about himself/herself, it is a turn-off.

If one asks too many questions in a formal style, that is perceived as interrogation and not interest, and interrogation is off-putting whether in romance or in friendship.

We want to be shown interest by the other person, as well as politeness, naturalness, and honesty. And we do the same, or think we do the same, in return.

This seems so simple and common-sensical, yet from many posts here, we can see it is not so common. Many times, one person on the date figures it's the other person's responsibility to carry the date in conversation, interest, etc.

Marian said she had a number of dating experiences, or even messaging experiences, where the man asked her no questions about her. This is clearly a big method for her (as for many others) that creates connection with the date. When that method wasn't used, it left Marian (and others) wondering why was the request for a date made in the first place. So, it seems that in an effort to clarify it for readers, Marian started this thread. It may have stemmed from frustration or hurt, but it was an encouragement for action, not a put-down.

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Patrick-872788 said: I always ask women questions on dates. Sometimes they answer and it starts new conversation. Ot...
(Quote) Patrick-872788 said:

I always ask women questions on dates. Sometimes they answer and it starts new conversation. Other times they mumble a one or two word answer and after a couple of these I remember a missed appointement. Or their reply takes up the rest of the date, making me regret having asked the question.

--hide--


Thanks Patrick. Ladies need reminders on how much "air time" to have on a date or how we two should share it on dates. We should share.. I feel the same when I have asked a guy a question and oh here comes the runaway train. But even one of those runaway trains became my beloved boyfriend for many years. I think we need to think through the art of conversation before our dates and come prepared. I think also that we sometimes need to be bolder. I wish you had asked those ladies why such a cursory mumbled answer, Patrick.. I think we should be slightly bolder on dates.

In one conversation I enjoyed the man did say at the end he wanted to talk with me again. This kind of wrap up helps give some idea of the process to the woman.

I was dating someone a year ago and after the date he would never say a word. He would hug me and then leave. I needed him to say "That was fun did you like this or that? Lets do this again or lets not.. whatever." EVALUATION done isn a kind way is very good to do and important. I wonder if there is a way a man can tell a woman to please slow down on the talking and ...share the discussion more!

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Lina-796057 said: Hmm. As I see it, women are encouraging men to ask them questions so as to show interest in the wo...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

Hmm. As I see it, women are encouraging men to ask them questions so as to show interest in the woman and to get to know her better,
and men want women also to ask questions of them for the same reasons.

If one doesn't respond much to questions, then that is either an indication of shyness/nervousness, lack of interest or lack of personality. If one monopolizes the conversation or talks abundantly about himself/herself, it is a turn-off.

If one asks too many questions in a formal style, that is perceived as interrogation and not interest, and interrogation is off-putting whether in romance or in friendship.

We want to be shown interest by the other person, as well as politeness, naturalness, and honesty. And we do the same, or think we do the same, in return.

This seems so simple and common-sensical, yet from many posts here, we can see it is not so common. Many times, one person on the date figures it's the other person's responsibility to carry the date in conversation, interest, etc.

Marian said she had a number of dating experiences, or even messaging experiences, where the man asked her no questions about her. This is clearly a big method for her (as for many others) that creates connection with the date. When that method wasn't used, it left Marian (and others) wondering why was the request for a date made in the first place. So, it seems that in an effort to clarify it for readers, Marian started this thread. It may have stemmed from frustration or hurt, but it was an encouragement for action, not a put-down.

--hide--


Thank you Lina. I started it for a friend who had recently not been asked any questions. I simply thought- well Lets take this to the forums. I have enough congruent experiences with this to need to see another round of discussion on this. No this was not meant as any sort of put down at all. THank you Lina and Thank you Edward! I want to bring people TOGETHER ---- wink REALLY!


I also had been in conversations on the phone in the past where the connection was not being easily built. So the question is WHY... so I am trying to enlist all of your comments and help so we can plug away at this together!

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Edward-512961 said: Chill out, guys. I'm scratching my head trying to see the "male-bashing" in this thread. ...
(Quote) Edward-512961 said: Chill out, guys. I'm scratching my head trying to see the "male-bashing" in this thread. Not really picking up on it.
--hide--


I tend to like to bring up topics like this and I think the last one I did had me accused the same way, but none of it was to bash anyone. It is the title that is off putting and scares guys. I think Communication is some of the most important activity we will ever do together and if my threads can help I am all for that.. Furthermore- if I would have entitled this "Communication"---That is a dry and boring topic. HUH?

I have tried those titles and we don't gather as much input..

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10/08/2012 new

I agree that some men including myself do not want ask questions because they feel they might be over stepping or getting too personal. I personally love being asked questions about myself, but get very nervous when I am the one having to ask the questions because I don't want to offend anyone. Great feedback from both males and females. That John Wayne quote was awsome. Have a great night.

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Brendan-824174 said: I agree that some men including myself do not want ask questions because they feel they might b...
(Quote) Brendan-824174 said:

I agree that some men including myself do not want ask questions because they feel they might be over stepping or getting too personal. I personally love being asked questions about myself, but get very nervous when I am the one having to ask the questions because I don't want to offend anyone. Great feedback from both males and females. That John Wayne quote was awsome. Have a great night.

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THANK YOU Brendan. Welcome to the forums. Thanks for sharing! Post more often!

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10/08/2012 new

Am I to infer by this thread that you are all actually going out on DATES? And that people are chatting/emoting you on CM? Or are we just talking theory for the day when...

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Edward-512961 said: Chill out, guys. I'm scratching my head trying to see the "male-bashing" in this thread. ...
(Quote) Edward-512961 said: Chill out, guys. I'm scratching my head trying to see the "male-bashing" in this thread. Not really picking up on it.
--hide--


Thank you Edward, I was thinking the same thing - I guess we are not reading it through David's eyes scratchchin

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10/08/2012 new

(Quote) Cherie-872998 said: Am I to infer by this thread that you are all actually going out on DATES? And that people are c...
(Quote) Cherie-872998 said:

Am I to infer by this thread that you are all actually going out on DATES? And that people are chatting/emoting you on CM? Or are we just talking theory for the day when...

--hide--

We can dream, Cherie, can't we? faint

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