(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:
Ana's topic was fabulous, but I have a simpler question. Does anyone just go on a date wh...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:
Ana's topic was fabulous, but I have a simpler question. Does anyone just go on a date when they are asked just because? While I understand that we are all (most - OK...don't shoot me here) seeking long term relationships with people we respect and can serve God with. We all have high ideals. What about simple fun? I'm sorry, but every man I meet is not a prospective husband; every person that asks me out is not necessarily a person I want to seriously date. That does not stop me from going out now and again.
In two different cases recently, I have shared a meal with a person - one from school and one from church. I can honestly tell you that if I had seen either one here, I probably would have kept looking. They are BOTH devout christians, one is obviously catholic. They are also interesting, vital, God-fearing men who I share careers in common with. If I was in the position to date, I would gladly date either of these men. I would NEVER have known that if I had shot down a friendly dinner invitation.
I guess my question is this (and it's been asked before I think somewhat more formally)...do we get so wrapped up in meeting the perfect person that we forget how to live? Life is a journey, not a destination. I like sharing that journey with other people, male and female. Thoughts anyone?? Both of these men, through simple conversation, gave me information I needed to complete thoughts that I had been praying about. How much longer would it have taken had I said no because...I am not in a position to date, or they were not the 'perfect' person I was looking??
I think yours is an interesting and worthwhile topic. I like your words, "What about simple fun?"
In answer to your basic question, "[D]o we get so wrapped up in meeting the perfect person that we forget how to live?", I'd say that I am sometimes too concerned about her tests (whatever they might be) that I need to pass in order to see her again, instead of having fun in the moment.
In the past, I have had thoughts perhaps similar to the ones the led you to pen this topic. I'll tell you what I did when those ideas occurred to me.
One time I wrote a topic asking women in general whether they would consider (just consider, not promise) going out with a man in Catholic Match who openly wrote something to the effect that he was trying to meet a number of women like he would at a party. That topic further explained that, without enough events or parties, he felt that he was forced to try some other way; namely, asking those women who saw him as at least a remote possibility for a match to let him know so that he could arrange a one-time, short meeting with them such as a coffee. As I recall, there were at best some neutral replies with most one's unfavorable such as, "I don't want to be one of many tomatoes that he will be reviewing" or "I would prefer not to be told outright that his coffee invitation was part of a wide fishing process". In this first post, maybe I should not have said just "a one-time brief meeting", but rather "a one-time brief meeting and possibly more meetings if the ladies chooses."
The other time, much more recently, I wrote a topic entitled, "Substitutes For Parties" (www.catholicmatch.com
. I had the same, basic goal as in the first post, but took a different approach.
There are probably a significant number of "seeking" women who also feel that, in the absence of more parties and other group activities, they need a substitute way to meet a lot of men through brief meetings without waiting for ages in a way that depends on whether others organize some kind of get-together. Rather than waiting on what others might do or not do, those many or few women who'd be open to a brief meeting should make that known somehow as in their profiles.
Thanks for making the effort to find new ways to meet us men.