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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Oct 8th 2012 new

(Quote) David-364112 said: dating is a serious sin!
(Quote) David-364112 said:


dating is a serious sin!

--hide--

How did I know this was coming? rolling eyes

It would be of great benefit to all if people would make an honest attempt to understand the reason for moral teachings instead of taking advantage of any opportunity to attempt to discredit them; in this case using the ambiguities of common language.

No moral statement can be made about 'dating' without further qualification because is an ambiguous term that can be taken to mean any of a wide spectrum of activities, as Anne Marie's replies in this topic demonstrate. Yes, certain types of dating by those who are not free to marry are serious sins; however, this clearly doesn't apply to the type of dating Anne Marie is discussing here.

Oct 8th 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How did I know this was coming? It would be of great benefit to all if people would make an...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

How did I know this was coming?

It would be of great benefit to all if people would make an honest attempt to understand the reason for moral teachings instead of taking advantage of any opportunity to attempt to discredit them; in this case using the ambiguities of common language.

No moral statement can be made about 'dating' without further qualification because is an ambiguous term that can be taken to mean any of a wide spectrum of activities, as Anne Marie's replies in this topic demonstrate. Yes, certain types of dating by those who are not free to marry are serious sins; however, this clearly doesn't apply to the type of dating Anne Marie is discussing here.

--hide--


Thanks Jerry. I understand and do my best to follow all the Church's teachings on sexual morality. I agree with them 100% and never attempt to belittle or discredit them. My jokes are not aimed at these precepts but at those who swing them around like a stone ax on these forums. It might be a worthwhile exercize to try and differentiate your will from the will of ALMIGHTY GOD. They are not always the same thing.


heart

Oct 9th 2012 new

Yay! clap clap clap

That's what 'LIVING' means! or to "get a life",
Communing with one another was God's plan all along!
Just think of all the people in town who would have been left uninformed if Christ had not taken the time to talk to the woman at the well.
(and she was considered a tainted lady ) wink

Oct 9th 2012 new

We know Christ handled Himself well within the Law - both letter and spirit of -
and we are capable of this too, with His grace and guidance. Dove

Oct 9th 2012 new

(Quote) Lina-796057 said: Right on, hon!It's always seemed off to me to reject spending time with a person of th...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:


Right on, hon!
It's always seemed off to me to reject spending time with a person of the opposite sex because he/she is not "the one" upon first sight. That seems to be negating a person's inherent value. Definitely not a Loving thing to do.

--hide--


You're a wise woman Lina. If we want to meet our match we must be open. We must have standards but not expectations. Expectations and a silly list of qualifications are what prevent us from getting to know the special people God sets in our path.

Oct 9th 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: Ana's topic was fabulous, but I have a simpler question. Does anyone just go on a date wh...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:

Ana's topic was fabulous, but I have a simpler question. Does anyone just go on a date when they are asked just because? While I understand that we are all (most - OK...don't shoot me here) seeking long term relationships with people we respect and can serve God with. We all have high ideals. What about simple fun? I'm sorry, but every man I meet is not a prospective husband; every person that asks me out is not necessarily a person I want to seriously date. That does not stop me from going out now and again.

In two different cases recently, I have shared a meal with a person - one from school and one from church. I can honestly tell you that if I had seen either one here, I probably would have kept looking. They are BOTH devout christians, one is obviously catholic. They are also interesting, vital, God-fearing men who I share careers in common with. If I was in the position to date, I would gladly date either of these men. I would NEVER have known that if I had shot down a friendly dinner invitation.

I guess my question is this (and it's been asked before I think somewhat more formally)...do we get so wrapped up in meeting the perfect person that we forget how to live? Life is a journey, not a destination. I like sharing that journey with other people, male and female. Thoughts anyone?? Both of these men, through simple conversation, gave me information I needed to complete thoughts that I had been praying about. How much longer would it have taken had I said no because...I am not in a position to date, or they were not the 'perfect' person I was looking??

--hide--


Anna Marie,

You ask, "Does anyone just go on a date when they are asked just because?". In my case, yes. I do not have dinner or an outing with a lady friend thinking is she the one? I go to have a good time. If something else develops fine, if not, fine.

Very good thread material.

Blessings, Praying hug rose

Leon

Oct 9th 2012 new

Hi, Ann Marie - I've gone on dates with a couple of guys I didn't have an immediate connection with for a couple of reasons. # 1 - I believe in giving people (and possibly a relationship!) a chance beyond just a few emails or phone calls. It's difficult to put full context of communication into an email or even a phone call. # 2 - even minus a connection, the guy was just interesting! I enjoyed chatting with him! We went out a cuople of times, had some great conversation and chuckles.


As long as expectations are managed on both sides, I see nothing wrong with it. God bless!

Oct 9th 2012 new

Thanks!! This is exactly what I mean! Sometimes, OK is OK. No harm, no foul. I've made some really terrific friends this way! heart

Oct 9th 2012 new

This is it exactly. It's not about a spark, instant anything. It is about enjoying life as it comes. True friendship, true love takes time..the rest, when it is at the very best, comes from those things. heart

Nov 5th 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: Ana's topic was fabulous, but I have a simpler question. Does anyone just go on a date wh...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:

Ana's topic was fabulous, but I have a simpler question. Does anyone just go on a date when they are asked just because? While I understand that we are all (most - OK...don't shoot me here) seeking long term relationships with people we respect and can serve God with. We all have high ideals. What about simple fun? I'm sorry, but every man I meet is not a prospective husband; every person that asks me out is not necessarily a person I want to seriously date. That does not stop me from going out now and again.

In two different cases recently, I have shared a meal with a person - one from school and one from church. I can honestly tell you that if I had seen either one here, I probably would have kept looking. They are BOTH devout christians, one is obviously catholic. They are also interesting, vital, God-fearing men who I share careers in common with. If I was in the position to date, I would gladly date either of these men. I would NEVER have known that if I had shot down a friendly dinner invitation.

I guess my question is this (and it's been asked before I think somewhat more formally)...do we get so wrapped up in meeting the perfect person that we forget how to live? Life is a journey, not a destination. I like sharing that journey with other people, male and female. Thoughts anyone?? Both of these men, through simple conversation, gave me information I needed to complete thoughts that I had been praying about. How much longer would it have taken had I said no because...I am not in a position to date, or they were not the 'perfect' person I was looking??

--hide--
Hi AnneMarie,

I think yours is an interesting and worthwhile topic. I like your words, "What about simple fun?"

In answer to your basic question, "[D]o we get so wrapped up in meeting the perfect person that we forget how to live?", I'd say that I am sometimes too concerned about her tests (whatever they might be) that I need to pass in order to see her again, instead of having fun in the moment.

In the past, I have had thoughts perhaps similar to the ones the led you to pen this topic. I'll tell you what I did when those ideas occurred to me.

One time I wrote a topic asking women in general whether they would consider (just consider, not promise) going out with a man in Catholic Match who openly wrote something to the effect that he was trying to meet a number of women like he would at a party. That topic further explained that, without enough events or parties, he felt that he was forced to try some other way; namely, asking those women who saw him as at least a remote possibility for a match to let him know so that he could arrange a one-time, short meeting with them such as a coffee. As I recall, there were at best some neutral replies with most one's unfavorable such as, "I don't want to be one of many tomatoes that he will be reviewing" or "I would prefer not to be told outright that his coffee invitation was part of a wide fishing process". In this first post, maybe I should not have said just "a one-time brief meeting", but rather "a one-time brief meeting and possibly more meetings if the ladies chooses."

The other time, much more recently, I wrote a topic entitled, "Substitutes For Parties" (www.catholicmatch.com. I had the same, basic goal as in the first post, but took a different approach.

There are probably a significant number of "seeking" women who also feel that, in the absence of more parties and other group activities, they need a substitute way to meet a lot of men through brief meetings without waiting for ages in a way that depends on whether others organize some kind of get-together. Rather than waiting on what others might do or not do, those many or few women who'd be open to a brief meeting should make that known somehow as in their profiles.

Thanks for making the effort to find new ways to meet us men. cool heart

John

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