This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.
Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola
I'll tell you this... I'm simply on fire for our Catholic faith, after coming from nearly 40 years on the Protestant side. So much beauty, so many faithful people. This is unlike anything I ever experienced in any Protestant denomination.
That said... I do like ladies who have been Catholic for awhile. Maybe this is because I'm still rather new, but I do appreciate the special little things Catholic lady friends (and a few of the guys I know) share with me. Sign of the cross on my forehead before a long trip, special prayers, etc. The sense of community is like none I've ever experienced, and there's so much good stuff here for building a family on the right ground.
Of course... winning some Protestant souls could be fun... ;-) (I'm working on my half sis and her Baptist minister husband...)
I encourage you to hold onto your Faith, because your Faith is why you are Catholic. Your Faith will get you through everything. Your inclinations to leave are human, but that is why Christ chose you. He wants you to be divine and with His help you can rise above these tribulations, including all the human error throughout our Church, and get closer to Him. Let Him lead the Way and you will be pleasantly surprised - and further in love with Him - and further in love with the woman who becomes your wife.
God Bless You,
welcome to my world + 5! If I'm on the West Coast and you're on the East Coast, imagine how many lonely people are sandwiched in between! My story is similar only I have 5 young children to carry through it. If you think being a divorced man is causing the ladies to hesitate, imagine a divorced woman with 5 children. I might as well have leprosy! Going to their extra-curricular activities makes it worse. I'm sorry to hear about your lady friend; again, I have a similar situation. Divorced friend so damaged by his previous wife and the havoc she still wreaks on him that he is happy to live for his children only. I'm a people person and will stumble and get up until my last breath. God has to have something better out there for me. If he would die such a horrible death for me, this can't be that hard, right? I just need to be really, really, reallllllly patient.
Know that you are in my prayers on the West Coast.
Congrats to you for coming back "home"! I have been divorced 6 years and started the annulment process in about the 3rd year. It took almost 2 years to complete. I have not yet found my life partner, but did not think I should wait to find him before I started the annulment. Now if I do find him, I won't have to wait for the process to be over to start our life together. I suggest that you start your annulment now so you have time to reflect on what direction you want your life to take without feeling pressured due to other obligations. You are in my prayers for the loss of so many family members in the last couple years. May you find comfort in knowing you have a church family that welcomes you and cares!
Your annulment application is perhaps classified as NON-SOS situation. I knew of a couple who were dating before any annulment was processed. When they applied for a marriage license in the Church, no one can stop them from marrying, so the parish priest followed up and they got their annulment granted and the wedding was officiated to their delight. Get a date first, or find that woman, then when you decide to marry tell your parish priest about your annulment papers. They will expedite your application. Make the first move. Catholic ladies are virteous, they hesitate to flirt. Show your interest in her.
This is extremely poor advice. The investigations take time -- in complicated cases or those where the witnesses do not respond promptly, if at all, perhaps a very long time. No amount of pressure is going to speed these up.
So what happens when you get deeply emotionally attached to someone, set a wedding date, then find you're not as lucky as the couple you refer to? Or, worse yet, the petition is denied? At best, all the pain is unnecessary and could have been avoided. At worst, you marry outside the Church -- and enter into a life of ongoing mortal sin?
The best advice is to submit the annulment petition early -- certainly before you need it; even if you don't think you will need it. Use the time before it is granted to grow closer to God. Offer up the burden as penance for yourself or for the souls in purgatory. And when the time comes you will be far better prepared spiritually.
I am just now reading this thread, six weeks later, but with great interest. One statement I read, I believe in Father Larry Richards' book, 'Surrender!' is that I am EXACTLY where God wants me to be right now. When I read this I did a doubletake. How can this be? Marriages are not supposed to fall apart. God doesn't want THAT. Then I thought of all the things that God could have made happen to: a) prevent us from marrying in the first place, years ago; b) one or both of us could have died before the separation/divorce happened; c) something could happen to one or both of us now, before the annulment determination is complete. So many things could change this current picture but, for this day, it is what it is and so this is what God allows and wants my life to be. There is peace with that knowing He is truly participating in my life and hasn't forgotten about me.
Wow. Like you, I have had some big hits in rapid succession. Loss of a nearly 15 year active duty military career in March of this year. Divorce final in March of last year. New career and major move away from support of a great parish and friends in April of this year. Dad's death in May.
Whew... So there's more going on here than "just" divorce and waiting for an annulment.
Prayers sent for you.
Don't lose hope! Don't settle for mediocrity and leave Catholicism because things are getting hard. This is precisely the time when you need to come closer to God and become more emmersed in your faith.
I know you are suffering much and it is a terrible feeling to be Catholic, divorced, and in the presence of families all the time. I have walked in your shoes and everything you are describing is true. I have experienced them myself. I know it's very lonely and very difficult. But please don't give in to the way the world does things. You will be ultimately dissatisfied and unhappy.
My annulment took 2 years and I was alone a total of 7 years before I met my 2nd husband. In looking back, I see that much of that time alone was necessary because I had a lot of work to do on myself. I don't know your circumstances and you may feel you are already healed and prepared for a new relationship, but for some reason, God is asking you to wait. Key word there, is "asking." Your circumstances could prove to be a great source of personal growth if you can find it within yourself to trust God with your life. You might try asking Him what it is you need to be doing while you wait for a new romance.
God's plans will blow you away, my friend. Don't lose hope. We'll be praying for you.
Sincerely - Lisa Duffy
I will never forget the scene in the Gibson movie of The Passion where Jesus has one eye glued shut with blood and out of his other eye He looks and that look, to me, asks "Meg, are you telling me 'no', you won't help me carry this Cross? Are you telling me you won't?" His look is pleading for help and love.
This helps me when it feels especially rough.
Wow. Michael, you came many steps closer to what you wanted by converting. Giving up only negates everything you have already done, and puts you much further away from what you desired.
There is NO doubt in my mind that there is definitely hope for every single one of us lone Catholics to find that person who will be by our side through thick and thin, and with whom we can enjoy a wonderful, fulfilling marriage and life together.
I totally agree with Alice about the Adoration. You need to maintain your hope, and the only way that you will do that is through your faith, which would be bolsered by Adoration. A close friend in my parish recommended that to me, and it has been just a fountain of everything good.
And, know that we are all here, as well. If you give up hope on that dream, what's to say your "giving up" won't make it easier for someone else to do the same...