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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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Oct 22nd 2012 new
I also do not like that term. Children are a blessing. Two of my children are walking miracles! Baggage, they are not!

I do agree that most people use that term to identify single parents with baggage because of custody battles, child support battles, custody times in general, not so desirable ex-spouses, money troubles, etc...

Luckily, I don't have to deal with my ex. Doesn't seem to make much difference with dating.

It only takes one, the special one. I have come to the conclusion that I will not find him, but that he will fall in my lap, probably from tripping over one of my kids...when I am no longer looking for him.
Oct 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: I know exactly how you feel Valerie. I am in a situation where I have custody of my 13 year old ...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

I know exactly how you feel Valerie. I am in a situation where I have custody of my 13 year old son, and I get to have his sisters every weekend. Most guys my age have children who are out on their own, so I will have to be patient until I find that special person who is understanding. Not an easy task.

My prayers go out to you

--hide--


Hang in there, Daniel. Our children are what keeps us young!

Oct 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Valerie-880801 said: I've read several forums on CM.......different topics, but several people refer to a single parent...
(Quote) Valerie-880801 said: I've read several forums on CM.......different topics, but several people refer to a single parent with children as an individual with "baggage". Well, I'm one of those with "baggage", but I prefer to call them blessings!!! I'm a 30 year old mother of 2 wonderful boys. I don't think of them as baggage at all of course, I'm their mom. I just don't like the term. Lately I've been wondering if my already having children in putting people off??? I've had lots of people view my profile, but not make the effort to contact me. I know I'm not everyone's "cup of tea", but surely I have something in common with someone. Lately I'm feeling that my being a single mother has put me in some mystery taboo land that shouldn't be approached. Anyone out there in the same boat?
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Usually it is the ex spouse and the accompanying legal complications that create the 'baggage'...

Oct 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Laura-695247 said: Usually it is the ex spouse and the accompanying legal complications that create the ...
(Quote) Laura-695247 said:




Usually it is the ex spouse and the accompanying legal complications that create the 'baggage'...

--hide--

Now, that is baggage! wink

Oct 22nd 2012 new

Daddy GOVERNMENT has killed the respect for and of those with children seeking new spouses or of MEN especially of taking on that role because to the INTERFERENCE of Daddy GOVERNMENT!

Need I say more?

Oct 22nd 2012 new

I don't consider a man with children to have baggage, but when I come across a man's profile whose "seeking" section is obviously written in response to a bad first - or second - marriage, I know he's got baggage. The kind that you need one of those wheeled trollies to carry it all 'cause it's too heavy.

Oct 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Stephen-725391 said: Daddy GOVERNMENT has killed the respect for and of those with children seeking new spouses or o...
(Quote) Stephen-725391 said:

Daddy GOVERNMENT has killed the respect for and of those with children seeking new spouses or of MEN especially of taking on that role because to the INTERFERENCE of Daddy GOVERNMENT!

Need I say more?

--hide--

Huh? I am not sure I totally understand your post...when I posted it was based on the experience of my friends and coworkers. For example my coworkers daughter tried to take her 6 year old and my friend (the grandmother) on a Disney cruise. It all had to be cancelled and they couldn't go because to go out of the country requires to approval of the ex husband! The ex was vengeful and mean...and wouldn't allow it. Can you imagine being 6 and think you are going on a Disney cruise...then all the sudden can't go. I have friends who will completely not date guys with children...because the ex creates too many problems. In the instance above...I travel internationally quite a lot...something like that would cause a huge lifestyle change. I have never dated a guy with children...it would depend on the situation if I would or not...not the children.

Oct 22nd 2012 new
Well if children are baggage, even southwest is gonna charge me!!  I may not find anyone assuming the annulment comes through. But i will never give up on my children!!
Oct 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Cat-163322 said: I don't care for that term either. But I think ...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Quote:
Cat-163322 said:

I don't care for that term either. But I think something else to considered to be "baggage" is the drama we have have in our lives. That could be how things are with an ex-spouse. Like is there bitterness that affects the new relationship, custody disputes, legal and financial problems, etc.

I don't consider children to be baggage either and you are right, they are blessings! And now it goes both ways, there are lots of men who have either full custody, share, or are widowed raising children on their own.

Cat


What you say is true, Cat. There are male single parents on this site (and everywhere else for that matter) who are encountering the same difficulties. See my comments about my own thoughts about single parents. I can't begin to imagine the difficulties they face.

Many of them are so worn out they can't even begin to find the time or energy to go out on a date, much less begin a relationship with someone.

Our crosses come in many forms, but so do blessings (the children). They may wear you ragged, but they are providing the incentive to keep you going and doing your best.

--hide--


Ray, that is so true! And I think a man who is a great dad is a very attractive quality.

Cat

Oct 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Valerie-880801 said: I've read several forums on CM.......different topics, but several people refer to a single parent...
(Quote) Valerie-880801 said: I've read several forums on CM.......different topics, but several people refer to a single parent with children as an individual with "baggage". Well, I'm one of those with "baggage", but I prefer to call them blessings!!! I'm a 30 year old mother of 2 wonderful boys. I don't think of them as baggage at all of course, I'm their mom. I just don't like the term. Lately I've been wondering if my already having children in putting people off??? I've had lots of people view my profile, but not make the effort to contact me. I know I'm not everyone's "cup of tea", but surely I have something in common with someone. Lately I'm feeling that my being a single mother has put me in some mystery taboo land that shouldn't be approached. Anyone out there in the same boat?
--hide--


THANK YOU VALERIE!! You should be proud of who you are. Motherhood is the foundation of civilization. Without good mothers we descend into barbarism.


Children are not "baggage". The only people who think that way are selfish individuals with unrealistic expectations. Someone who's not willing to accept a "package deal" is not worthy of you - not the other way around.

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