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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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I was wondering if there are any members here who are currently dating someone in a LDR. There is a lot of discussion about LDR's. The pros and cons and the marriages that have resulted. I was just wondering if there were any members who are in a LDR right now. If so what do you feel about LDR's ? Would you recommend a LDR? There seems to be many members who would not even consider LDR's. Since this is an internet dating site there is the opportunity to meet others that you might not meet otherwise. Since there may not be very many members here that live in your area what should one do?

10/22/2012 new

I was just recently discussing this topic with someone. When I was much younger I had been in different LDRs in a 2-year time span. One was with a local gal home on summer break with whom I continued our relationship when she returned to school, and the other who I met while working in Canada that continued after I had left. Both proved to be too difficult to continue at that time (there was no internet, FB, or really even cell phones). Prior to joining this site my feelings were quite mixed as to how willing and/or able I would be to engage in another LDR after so many years since having been in one.


I gave a great deal of thought and consideration to both the positives and negatives culled from my own experiences as well as how engaging in one today could and would be different than it was 20 years ago. Communication certainly is easier today with the internet and cell phones - not like in days past where communication was either writing and mailing a letter (imagine that today!) or sitting at home with your ear pinned to a telephone. But, as in years past, there will always be issues with emotional and physical separation and, of course, the financial strain from travelling to see each other all the time.


As with any relationship though, it comes down to the two people in the relationship. Aside from those in circumstances that would prevent them from being in a LDR or relocating, it isn't beyond the realm of possibility for someone with little to no desire to be in a LDR to change their mind because they met someone. It's happened more than a few times on this site.


As for me personally, I'm in the midst of changing careers. Given the great likelihood that I will eventually be relocating any relationship I get into will likely go through a geographical change - be either we end-up closer in proximity or further apart. Considering that likelihood as well as my own general willingness to be in a LDR and/or relocate was actually the final consideration that convinced me to finally join this site. Had I not been either in the midst of changing careers or willing to be in a LDR I likely would not have ever joined this site. For me, having those limiters would have only caused me to subject myself to a lot that I either didn't want or couldn't have - something that I can find that easily enough in my own town.


theheart

10/22/2012 new

I know of two, it's not common knowledge so I won't mention any names, but one couple are NY and CT and engaged, and another couple are MidWest and West Coast, in that situation, the gent knew what he was looking for and pursued her and is relocating to his lady love's state.

10/24/2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-730470 said: I was wondering if there are any members here who are currently dating someone in a LDR. There is...
(Quote) Kathy-730470 said:

I was wondering if there are any members here who are currently dating someone in a LDR. There is a lot of discussion about LDR's. The pros and cons and the marriages that have resulted. I was just wondering if there were any members who are in a LDR right now. If so what do you feel about LDR's ? Would you recommend a LDR? There seems to be many members who would not even consider LDR's. Since this is an internet dating site there is the opportunity to meet others that you might not meet otherwise. Since there may not be very many members here that live in your area what should one do?

--hide--

I would rather have a LDR with someone I really liked, who really liked me, and who was an excellent choice for future spouse than have a so-so relationship with someone who lives ten minutes away.

10/25/2012 new

(Quote) Amy-56598 said: I would rather have a LDR with someone I really liked, who really liked m...
(Quote) Amy-56598 said:

I would rather have a LDR with someone I really liked, who really liked me, and who was an excellent choice for future spouse than have a so-so relationship with someone who lives ten minutes away.

--hide--
Amy I totally agree with you.

10/25/2012 new

Thanks Victor and Jacqueline for your comments.

10/25/2012 new

My answer is short and sweet. I would recommend it, BUT it only works if BOTH parties are putting any effort into it. soapbox

10/25/2012 new

(Quote) Amy-56598 said: I would rather have a LDR with someone I really liked, who really liked m...
(Quote) Amy-56598 said:

I would rather have a LDR with someone I really liked, who really liked me, and who was an excellent choice for future spouse than have a so-so relationship with someone who lives ten minutes away.

--hide--


I agree, Amy .... better to be alone than to be with Mr. (or Miss) Wrong, no matter how near or far he/she lives from you!

heart

10/25/2012 new

(Quote) Daniel-634934 said: My answer is short and sweet. I would recommend it, BUT it only works if BOTH parties are puttin...
(Quote) Daniel-634934 said:

My answer is short and sweet. I would recommend it, BUT it only works if BOTH parties are putting any effort into it.

--hide--


I agree, Daniel!

wave Battling eyelashes heart

10/26/2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-730470 said: I was wondering if there are any members here who are currently dating someone in a LDR. There is...
(Quote) Kathy-730470 said:

I was wondering if there are any members here who are currently dating someone in a LDR. There is a lot of discussion about LDR's. The pros and cons and the marriages that have resulted. I was just wondering if there were any members who are in a LDR right now. If so what do you feel about LDR's ? Would you recommend a LDR? There seems to be many members who would not even consider LDR's. Since this is an internet dating site there is the opportunity to meet others that you might not meet otherwise. Since there may not be very many members here that live in your area what should one do?

--hide--


I am not currently in a LDR; yet, there are several correspondences going on at the moment. However, I have been in some very successful ones in which the gentlemen and I are still friends today (along with their wives and children!).

Many of my relationship and friendships have been distance related ... whether twenty minutes down the road or across the ocean. The key factors to success in a long distance relationship is honesty, communication (written, oral, face-to-face, etc.), more communication, planning on both parts, tuning in to one another's likes and dislikes so you both can create opportunities to "see" each other via SKYPE, etc.; being on the same page as to what you are looking for in the courtship or dating; ... more communication and flexibility, trusting in God and sharing him in the budding relationship.

In reflecting on some of the relationships that were local and the ones that were long distance, I have to say that most of the ones that involved flexibility and planning, tons of communication, time apart that we could not control, etc. were better relationships. Better relationships in that we both took responsibility for the courtship (yes, the male lead; yet it was both of us being creative about time and such) and truly valued the time together.

In one of the Bible Study groups internationally, the 30 to 40 year old group were reading and dialoguing Gary Chapman's Five Love Languages. The book and sentiment of the book made perfect sense to me even before this study group. Yet, in the international setting and dialogue, I saw more of the love languages portrayed in long distance relationships. One needs to be honest with their perspective partner in how they relate to the world.
For example, I know I am one who thrives on quality time together and am not big on receiving gifts; yet love giving of my time and service or nurturing others. The gentlemen I would call successful relationships / now friendships, knew I thrived on time because we took the time to find out the little details that made each other click or feel connected the best.


Long distance is relative ... ya never know if the person God created just for you is right around the corner, across the state, on the opposite coast you are, or even ... gasp... living in a different country!

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