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This room is dedicated to those who are facing the challenge of raising children without the support of a spouse. This is a place to share ideas and lend mutual support.

Saint Rita is known to be a patroness for abused wives and mourning women.
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10/29/2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: You think it's a good thing that you allowed your 14 year old son to have access to p...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

You think it's a good thing that you allowed your 14 year old son to have access to porn and that you encouraged him (as an adult) to commit a grave sin to satisfy his curiosity?

Kids can find buddies anywhere; not so parents. Parents need to focus on being parents, not buddies.

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Jerry, I agree with you 110%. Being a parent is one of the most important roles you can have and I am not my kids friend. That's why they have friends, they don't need more of them.

10/29/2012 new

(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said: Cheryl, I was cleaning my 14-year old son's room when I saw 4 copies of "Playboy Ma...
(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said:

Cheryl, I was cleaning my 14-year old son's room when I saw 4 copies of "Playboy Magazine." I took the copies and waited till he come home from school. When he arrived I called him to sit beside me and talked about the magazine. He blushed. I told him not to be ashamed because actually I am happy that he is not gay. I explained to him that sex is the best gift God ever given to humanity and to experience it to the fullest is with the woman he chose to marry. Doing it outside of marriage could have a lot of repercussion that because of his age he could ruin his future. He listened and he let me kept the copies with a request that he would know where I put them for he might want to see them again. I did what he requested. When he had a surgery from aneurysm at age 24, half of his body became semi-paralyzed because a part of his brain was flooded with blood that it had to be removed. He worried about his capacity to have sex because of the paralysis. He confided to me about his concern. I told him to check it, but he said he could not do it in the hospital room because nurses are coming in unannounced. So I asked for a pass to allow him to go home during the week end to check it in his room. When he came out from his room he was smiling. He said he still has it. My son and I are buddies, we talk about everything including sex and without malice. You can do that. Set up a nice opening and talk to him matter-of-factly. One example: My son practice his Karate skills with me, whenever he tackled me, it would always be at the side near my breast. I told him "You are practicing with me huh...? We just laughed. Now that he is married I ask his wife about my son. She said he is a very good and loving husband and father.

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Actually sex outside of marriage has repercussions at all ages, regardless if it results in a child, an STD, or just losing your soul to the devil.

10/29/2012 new

(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: Jerry, I agree with you 110%. Being a parent is one of the most important roles yo...
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:




Jerry, I agree with you 110%. Being a parent is one of the most important roles you can have and I am not my kids friend. That's why they have friends, they don't need more of them.

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You should be the FIRST Friend of your children. There was a movie I saw where her son was in prison and he will not talk to her because he was angry with her. The touching part of the movie was when she said ' IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME AS YOUR MOTHER, TALK TO ME AS YOUR FRIEND. I AM YOUR FRIEND." and the son hugged her and cried out loud.

10/29/2012 new

And during the time when my son was still single and dating girls, he always introduced the girls to me. It is ordinary here in America that girls don't wait for boys to visit her in her house; they visit the boys in their house. When I open the door, the girl would ask "Is_____ here? I said yes, she goes straight to his room and they talk there, but every time this happened my son ALWAYS kept the door open, because that is what I asked of him." When there is a girl in your room, please keep your door open until she leaves" and he obeyed me. I did not have employment since my children were in school; I was a homebound mother, I stayed awake whenever my children are out at night until they got home; I am by the door waiting for them.

10/29/2012 new

(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said: You should be the FIRST Friend of your children. There was a movie I saw where her son was i...
(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said:

You should be the FIRST Friend of your children. There was a movie I saw where her son was in prison and he will not talk to her because he was angry with her. The touching part of the movie was when she said ' IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ME AS YOUR MOTHER, TALK TO ME AS YOUR FRIEND. I AM YOUR FRIEND." and the son hugged her and cried out loud.

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I politefully disreagree. My kids are very open with me but they know I am their mom first and foremost. I am not on the same level as their friends.


There is a lot of responsibilty with parenting. Teaching them the faith, raising them to think critically so they are not drawn into to all the lies around them, giving the amount of responsibilty they can handle (as age appropriate) while they still have a safe place to land when they make mistakes. teaching them to be grow up and be independent, productive members of society. Teaching them to be good citizens and take care of others in their community. Teach them life is not all about them (nor is it all about me). Treating them with respect and expecting them to treat me and others with respect. Teaching them to respect authority. There will always be authority over each person, whether it's the law, the church, your boss, your parents and God to name a few.

10/29/2012 new

(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: I politefully disreagree. My kids are very open with me but they know I am their m...
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:




I politefully disreagree. My kids are very open with me but they know I am their mom first and foremost. I am not on the same level as their friends.


There is a lot of responsibilty with parenting. Teaching them the faith, raising them to think critically so they are not drawn into to all the lies around them, giving the amount of responsibilty they can handle (as age appropriate) while they still have a safe place to land when they make mistakes. teaching them to be grow up and be independent, productive members of society. Teaching them to be good citizens and take care of others in their community. Teach them life is not all about them (nor is it all about me). Treating them with respect and expecting them to treat me and others with respect. Teaching them to respect authority. There will always be authority over each person, whether it's the law, the church, your boss, your parents and God to name a few.

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Then you have a wrong definition of a friend. Was your husband not your friend?

10/29/2012 new

Jerry, she confronted him without ridiculing him and when he was an adult, with valid fears, she supported him. He sounds like he grew up to be a kind and loving husband. She was the best kind of parent. Jesus didn't ridicule the woman at the well, though most of the town probably did.

I'd be very careful to throw stones here. Parenting doesn't come with a rule book. Each of us does the best we can with the knowledge we have. If you read the articles in the beginning of the post, you'll see that it is possible to change the attitudes of even sexually active teens without shaming them. We are, after all, only human.

10/29/2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Jerry, she confronted him without ridiculing him and when he was an adult, with valid fears, she ...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Jerry, she confronted him without ridiculing him and when he was an adult, with valid fears, she supported him. He sounds like he grew up to be a kind and loving husband. She was the best kind of parent. Jesus didn't ridicule the woman at the well, though most of the town probably did.

I'd be very careful to throw stones here. Parenting doesn't come with a rule book. Each of us does the best we can with the knowledge we have. If you read the articles in the beginning of the post, you'll see that it is possible to change the attitudes of even sexually active teens without shaming them. We are, after all, only human.

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Nice straw man. I never suggested she should have ridiculed her son. However, there is a large gap between ridicule and promoting grave sin, either by direct encouragement in one case, or by keeping the pornographic materials in the other.

Encouraging or being an accessory to someone committing a mortal sin is not being supportive -- it is anything but. We all make mistakes in the heat of the moment. What has me totally stunned is that she would come here and post about these situations as if they were great things to do.

10/29/2012 new

(Quote) Kathy-635104 said: Jerry, she confronted him without ridiculing him and when he was an adult, with valid fears, she ...
(Quote) Kathy-635104 said:

Jerry, she confronted him without ridiculing him and when he was an adult, with valid fears, she supported him. He sounds like he grew up to be a kind and loving husband. She was the best kind of parent. Jesus didn't ridicule the woman at the well, though most of the town probably did.

I'd be very careful to throw stones here. Parenting doesn't come with a rule book. Each of us does the best we can with the knowledge we have. If you read the articles in the beginning of the post, you'll see that it is possible to change the attitudes of even sexually active teens without shaming them. We are, after all, only human.

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I am with your logic Kathy. Why would it be awkward for a mother to educate her son on his sexuality. In the first place as a mother our instinct would tell us how to answer our sons' curiosity about the female body or we would just throw him to the arena of sexual confusion.

10/29/2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Nice straw man. I never suggested she should have ridiculed her son. However, there is a ...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Nice straw man. I never suggested she should have ridiculed her son. However, there is a large gap between ridicule and promoting grave sin, either by direct encouragement in one case, or by keeping the pornographic materials in the other.

Encouraging or being an accessory to someone committing a mortal sin is not being supportive -- it is anything but. We all make mistakes in the heat of the moment. What has me totally stunned is that she would come here and post about these situations as if they were great things to do.

--hide--
I think Jerry, it has something to do with our culture, because I am not an American, and when I tell my story in this thread I was under the presumption that how we educate our children in their sexuality is something to be proud about. I raised two children who are open-minded about sex and they got that attitude from me. As to mortal sins being committed, what are the criteria for committing such? In my country you can still see young children bathing naked under the rain, was mortal sin committed by those people who saw them? Was it pornography? When my 24 year old son was in the hospital, he was semi-paralyzed. I was the one who gave him a bath. Was that shameful? Should I let the nurse do it instead of me? God's greatest gift to humanity was our sexuality. He has a beautiful plan for the man and woman he created, but when he took a rest, the devil taught Adam and Eve the lustful way of having sex. Had they waited for God to wake up, they still could have sex, but in the way God has intended it to be. It is just sad that we followed the devil's version. and here were are throwing stones.

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