Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

This room is for supportive and informative discussion about divorce and/or the annulment process. All posters must have been previously divorced or annulled.

Saint Eugene De Mazenod is patron of dysfunctional families & Saint Fabiola obtained a divorce from her first husband prior to devoting her life to charitable works.
Learn More: Saint Eugene De Mazenod and Saint Fabiola

Nov 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Francesca-633457 said: Just curious...what about those legally divorced, blessed with an annulment, but not 7/7? Sho...
(Quote) Francesca-633457 said:

Just curious...what about those legally divorced, blessed with an annulment, but not 7/7? Should they be banned or only matched with those with similar non 7/7 criteria? I mean, they're not following the Church's teachings if their not 7/7.

--hide--

I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or serious, so I'll assume the latter...

One cannot draw any valid conclusions about how another person acts based on responses to the 7 faith questions:

(a) The questions ask whether one accepts the Church's teachings, not whether one follows them.

(b) Those who answer 'Yes' to all 7 may not follow them.

(c) Some answer 'No' based on past acts, not current beliefs or behavior.

Given the wide variability of how people answer the faith questions, it's best to use the answers as a starting point for one-on-one discussions rather than trying to make general assumptions about the faith or actions of others based on them.

Nov 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-472688 said: I have read about annulled women and men right here on CM who had their marriages or relations...
(Quote) Mary-472688 said:


I have read about annulled women and men right here on CM who had their marriages or relationships fail.

No, I would like to marry in the RCC which is why I am pursuing an annulment. I am not arguing against annulment. I really think it is wonderful to be given a second chance by the RCC. In fact, I look forward to being married in a RCC ceremony because I never had that chance the first time around.

What I was trying to drive at was that dating can be clean and fun at the same time. And by narrowing down their choices to annulled men, I think annulled Catholic women are filtering out who might be holy but divorced Catholic men who need to be and CAN BE persuaded to get an annulment, if only they were given a chance to to know them by annulled women.

I hope I made myself clear this time.

Mary

--hide--

An annulment is not a "second chance" -- it is a declaration that the previous marriage was not valid at its inception. If the marriage was valid at its inception, an annulment cannot be granted, regardless of what may have happened subsequently.

While one may petition for an annulment, there is no guarantee it will be granted. Two of the reasons it is inadvisable for those who are divorced to engage in romantic (or even potentially romantic) relationships until the annulment is granted (not merely "in progress") is the risk that the marriage will be found to have been valid and the person ineligible to marry in the Church and the length of time it may take for a final decision to be reached. In eight years on CM I have unfortunately seen more than a few couples end up "marrying" outside the Church because they the petition was rejected or took "too long" and they didn't want to wait.

Keep in mind that "marrying" outside the Church is more than a formality -- since the couple is not actually married (and presumably is aware of this), every single marital act is a mortal sin -- that cannot be validly confessed unless and until they are willing to give up living together as husband and wife.

Nov 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-472688 said: Divorced people can also be holy and fun to be with.
(Quote) Mary-472688 said:

Divorced people can also be holy and fun to be with.

--hide--

True. But those who are divorced and not free to marry who are engaging (or searching for) romantic relationships are not being holy because they are flirting with the devil and tempting Satan to tempt them away from God.

Those who are holy act in a manner that is in accord with their current state and willingly bear whatever crosses that entails.

Nov 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Connie-17641 said: CM has finally changed how the search feature. here's a huge thank you from me. I absolutely ...
(Quote) Connie-17641 said:

CM has finally changed how the search feature. here's a huge thank you from me. I absolutely love it the way it is now. thanks, thanks and more thanks. You guys and gals are the best (and very wise as well)

--hide--

How has it changed?

Nov 22nd 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or serious, so I'll assume the latter...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

I'm not sure if you're being sarcastic or serious, so I'll assume the latter...

One cannot draw any valid conclusions about how another person acts based on responses to the 7 faith questions:

(a) The questions ask whether one accepts the Church's teachings, not whether one follows them.

(b) Those who answer 'Yes' to all 7 may not follow them.

(c) Some answer 'No' based on past acts, not current beliefs or behavior.

Given the wide variability of how people answer the faith questions, it's best to use the answers as a starting point for one-on-one discussions rather than trying to make general assumptions about the faith or actions of others based on them.

--hide--



I was being serious. In response to your (a) reply, if one does not accept a teaching, one will not follow it.
Also, in your response to:

(Quote) Mary-472688 said:

Divorced people can also be holy and fun to be with.

True. But those who are divorced and not free to marry who are engaging (or searching for) romantic relationships are not being holy because they are flirting with the devil and tempting Satan to tempt them away from God.

I would say those not accepting of the Church's teachings, whether divorced, annulled, etc., are also flirting with the devil.

My point in posing the question/statement is that there are so many variables involved in this "check off the box" mentality and life in general that we need to let go and let God.

Nov 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Francesca-633457 said: I was being serious. In response to your (a) reply, if one does not accept a teaching, on...
(Quote) Francesca-633457 said:


I was being serious. In response to your (a) reply, if one does not accept a teaching, one will not follow it.

--hide--

Consider that one who does not agree with the teaching may go along with the preference of the person they are dating.

Nov 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Francesca-633457 said: (Quote) Mary-472688 said: Divorced people can also be holy ...
(Quote) Francesca-633457 said:

Quote:
Mary-472688 said:

Divorced people can also be holy and fun to be with.

True. But those who are divorced and not free to marry who are engaging (or searching for) romantic relationships are not being holy because they are flirting with the devil and tempting Satan to tempt them away from God.

I would say those not accepting of the Church's teachings, whether divorced, annulled, etc., are also flirting with the devil.




My point in posing the question/statement is that there are so many variables involved in this "check off the box" mentality and life in general that we need to let go and let God.

--hide--

What do you consider to be the "check off the box" mentality?

Nov 23rd 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: Consider that one who does not agree with the teaching may go along with the preference o...
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

Consider that one who does not agree with the teaching may go along with the preference of the person they are dating.

--hide--


Consider one that is not dating. Check off the box off mentality refers to those who have specific checklists for their life... God's in control.

Nov 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Jerry-74383 said: How has it changed?
(Quote) Jerry-74383 said:

How has it changed?

--hide--


All my matches come up as Divorced men but there is still one glitch that I don't like. when I log in with my cell phone there is a message saying that I cannot look at any matches since I am not available to marry in the church. Can you tell me why this only appears on my cell?

Nov 26th 2012 new

I am somewhat confused by this as I was not aware of the disclaimer. My marriage ended in 1988 and to seek an annulment now seems alittle odd. I can't see my ex agreeing to do it unless I was ready to marry someone....which I am not! Then there is the money aspect. I don't know it just does not sit well with me. I believe my marriage or end of it is between God and myself not between myself and a group of men who have never been married.

Posts 81 - 90 of 93