Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.
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1.) Ray so you think you should just go for it?
2.) It doesn't matter whether it is the woman or man who sends the first message?
3.) Makes no difference?
1.) If you don't someone else likely will.
2.) Does it matter to you?
3.) Does it matter to you?
kathy, i kind of...sort of think...that alot of people that view a person is not a customer with cm. so when you send a real live message back to them, they don't receive it and cannot answer it. i try to find them with my searches, but hardly ever see any one on line. my thinking is if i put alot of energy in the message and then do not receive a message back, then i say they are not a paying member, and not to worry. i dont think it is for lack of trying for any cm member,but it is a fact we dont know if they are a member. i have seen people on their profile saying they are not a member,and don't get off the site because they are allowed on the site. so at this point in the game, anything is worth trying! hope this makes sense. h
I know that there have been discussions about emotigrams and what to write when sending a message to someone who peeks your interest. I was wondering who should send the first message......men or women? Does it matter? Do guys like a woman to send them messages? Do they respond to them or do they like to be the ones sending the messages? Do women like to send messages? If so when you send them do men respond? Do more relationships result when men send the first message? I had a friend who met her husband on an online dating site ( not CM). She said you should let the man be the one to initiate because then you know he is interested. She said she never sent the first message. She did get married. Her husband sent her the first message. That is just her opinion and experience. What do CM members think?
Kathy, I don't think it matters who send the first message, so long as the other person is receptive and responds. I think the old-fashioned "men must start, or make the first move" is no longer valid; that said, there may be a few (very few, I hope) men who prefer to make the first move.
I don't wait for someone to make the first move; if I see someone that piques my interest, I go ahead and send and Emotigram, but most often I send a note (because of the limitations of space on the Emotigrams) to break the ice and wait and see how he responds. I think it is important that what you say reflects who you really are, without being afraid of being forward or judged. I often start by making comments on things he's written on his profile and maybe pointing out some commonalities I see. I found a very nice man I like a lot in the CM website and we have been exchanging notes back and forth, but given that he is very far away from me, I don't know realistically when we might be able to meet F2F and he hasn't suggested it yet either. I need to determine his interest on a F2F before I can decide what my next move might be. I am trying myself to figure out how to nudge him in that direction and I don't know what to do yet.
One clue that might help you might be whether the man you're interested in is "Conservative" or "Very Conservative" or more liberal. Very conservative men tend to think in those terms in everything they do, which may mean they might want to make the first move. I honestly believe that most men don't care who makes the first move. I don't know if that helps. I'm just sayin'
By and large, I do believe that most ladies on this site prefer to be contacted first, although a significant number are also very willing to be the ones to initiate. As the faces change around here so do the percentages of those who prefer one behavior over the other. I've never had any issue with being contacted first, although that number is minuscule in comparison to the number who I have attempted to contact first. Of course, most were never replied to, but that never discouraged me from replying to nearly every message that has been sent to me. I'm certain that I may have missed replying to one every so often, but not many, and never on purpose.
stop being afraid to either send a message or reply to one that has been sent to them. What's the worst that can happen? I, personally, may no longer be initiating communications, but that's only because my time here on CM is drawing to a close and I see no useful purpose in doing so. If I was staying I likely wouldn't be posting on this thread right now - I'd be sending emotes and messages.
Perfectly said Victor! BTW sorry I belong in the retirement home, but this post was moved!