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A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) John-132457 said: I've never really known a woman who didn't have interests of her own! For me, par...
(Quote) John-132457 said:

I've never really known a woman who didn't have interests of her own! For me, part of the quests is to find someone whose interests are complimentary (not necessarily identical) to my own. The hardest situation is when the other person has interests or a career that's not only uninteresting to you, but even hard to respect.

--hide--


Exactly..

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: Linda,Spam casserole? No thanks. I will have the boiled chicken livers and gizzard...
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:



Linda,

Spam casserole? No thanks. I will have the boiled chicken livers and gizzards.

Blessings,

Leon

--hide--
Ummm -- I think I'll pass on your Thanksgiving dinner invite, Leon.....but thanks anyway....Urp laughing

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Cindy-534370 said: (Quote) John-132457 said: I've never really known a woman who didn't<...
(Quote) Cindy-534370 said:
Quote:
John-132457 said:

I've never really known a woman who didn't have interests of her own! For me, part of the quests is to find someone whose interests are complimentary (not necessarily identical) to my own. The hardest situation is when the other person has interests or a career that's not only uninteresting to you, but even hard to respect.




As....? Could you place some examples, please?
--hide--

Well, that's hard to do without starting a whole other debate. But there are some jobs, some educational backgrounds, that seem to dwell in an environment that would be hard to reconcile with the things I believe. An extreme example would be a woman who works in a Planned Parenthood clinic. In a less dramatic example, I might rather get to know a woman who works on the family farm or is a sculptor, than one who is a government bureaucrat or an insurance company executive.

Of course, now I am going to be pilloried by all the CM women who are government bureaucrats and insurance company executives!

Nov 16th 2012 new

For the record, I like to cook. Especially for someone else. I don't mind washing the laundry either. However, I suck at folding the laundry or keeping the kitchen clean. So she'll have to chip in. Or at least be patient with my inepitude!

Nov 16th 2012 new
(Quote) John-132457 said: (Quote) Cindy-534370 said: (Quote) John-132457 said: I've nev...
(Quote) John-132457 said:

Quote:
Cindy-534370 said:
Quote:
John-132457 said:



I've never really known a woman who didn't have interests of her own! For me, part of the quests is to find someone whose interests are complimentary (not necessarily identical) to my own. The hardest situation is when the other person has interests or a career that's not only uninteresting to you, but even hard to respect.






As....? Could you place some examples, please?



Well, that's hard to do without starting a whole other debate. But there are some jobs, some educational backgrounds, that seem to dwell in an environment that would be hard to reconcile with the things I believe. An extreme example would be a woman who works in a Planned Parenthood clinic. In a less dramatic example, I might rather get to know a woman who works on the family farm or is a sculptor, than one who is a government bureaucrat or an insurance company executive.



Of course, now I am going to be pilloried by all the CM women who are government bureaucrats and insurance company executives!

--hide--


I see, those are very good examples here, it makes it meaningful of where you are coming from. Interesting isn't it? Those are the things we can relate to and see the differences in each person.

Thanks for that. biggrin
Nov 16th 2012 new

Hi ya, Victor! I guess we just run in the same crazy circles!!


(Quote) Victor-544727 said: Angie!!! Fancy seeing you here, darling!
(Quote) Victor-544727 said:

Angie!!! Fancy seeing you here, darling!

--hide--

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Maybe I am putting this topic out there using the wrong words. I should just stat...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



Maybe I am putting this topic out there using the wrong words.

I should just state that I am looking for someone who has interests like art, music, and hiking because I want to share those activities with someone- a mate.

I can teach a guy who does not know the arts, about art, and music and I hope to learn about his interests too!

I recently subbed in a classroom where the teacher (male) had some books on the psychology of coaching sports. I read the book and gained a newfound respect for sports being used to increase self esteem in adolescent boys. This made me want to learn more about sports in general than I ordinarily would want to know. If I knew how this psychology works, it would help me in many ways. This would be an example of me being open to a new interest that a man may have or be willing to share with me. ie sports or coaching

I should have talked about shared interests or teaching one another as well as talking about our current interests as individuals.

--hide--
You might be able to "teach" someone about your interests; however, that doesn't translate into a genuine interest on the other person's part. You might get excited in an art museum, while your fellow is yawning, wondering what all the fuss is about, even if he knows about art, artists and their works. Reminds me of school -- you have to take certain subjects whether you like them or not.

Certainly it's ideal to share common interests. Isn't this part of what attracts you to someone in the first place? Shared interests can lead to interesting discussions -- whether it be movies, art, or some hobby. I'm thinking of an engaged CM couple that really hit it off well on a hiking get-together. Common ground helped to light the spark.

That being said, we all need some "me" time -- most people would feel smothered if they were with their spouses continually--24/7. It works for some, but the hazard is if something happens to one of them. The remaining spouse's life is in shambles. Hobbies are great; volunteer work is an excellent outlet; sports, too. Just recently I was reading an article in a Catholic newspaper about marriage, and how couples should take some risks into unchartered territory to expand their interests and activities. This can be done together, or separately.

Sharing interests and having separate ones as well add vitality to a marriage and keep it (and the couple) from growing stale.

Nov 16th 2012 new
(Quote) John-132457 said: For the record, I like to cook. Especially for someone else. I don't mind washing the laundry either. How...
(Quote) John-132457 said:

For the record, I like to cook. Especially for someone else. I don't mind washing the laundry either. However, I suck at folding the laundry or keeping the kitchen clean. So she'll have to chip in. Or at least be patient with my inepitude!

--hide--


Very interesting John. I bet you are a fantastic cook! This is the types of things of interest I like to hear!

Like with me, I wouldn't be any worth trying to go hunting with a guy, especially if your hunting for bears! The only help I would be is to sit up in the tree house and be the look out with my binoculars, but oh wait....... Bears climb trees!

Also, I remember a century ago I dated a chef! Yeah, he wore black and white checked clothes and a great tall white chef hat! Oh the food he would make! Awesome, and he was a romantic!
Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Ray-566531 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Maybe I am putting this topic out there u...
(Quote) Ray-566531 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



Maybe I am putting this topic out there using the wrong words.

I should just state that I am looking for someone who has interests like art, music, and hiking because I want to share those activities with someone- a mate.

I can teach a guy who does not know the arts, about art, and music and I hope to learn about his interests too!

I recently subbed in a classroom where the teacher (male) had some books on the psychology of coaching sports. I read the book and gained a newfound respect for sports being used to increase self esteem in adolescent boys. This made me want to learn more about sports in general than I ordinarily would want to know. If I knew how this psychology works, it would help me in many ways. This would be an example of me being open to a new interest that a man may have or be willing to share with me. ie sports or coaching

I should have talked about shared interests or teaching one another as well as talking about our current interests as individuals.


You might be able to "teach" someone about your interests; however, that doesn't translate into a genuine interest on the other person's part. You might get excited in an art museum, while your fellow is yawning, wondering what all the fuss is about, even if he knows about art, artists and their works. Reminds me of school -- you have to take certain subjects whether you like them or not.

Certainly it's ideal to share common interests. Isn't this part of what attracts you to someone in the first place? Shared interests can lead to interesting discussions -- whether it be movies, art, or some hobby. I'm thinking of an engaged CM couple that really hit it off well on a hiking get-together. Common ground helped to light the spark.

That being said, we all need some "me" time -- most people would feel smothered if they were with their spouses continually--24/7. It works for some, but the hazard is if something happens to one of them. The remaining spouse's life is in shambles. Hobbies are great; volunteer work is an excellent outlet; sports, too. Just recently I was reading an article in a Catholic newspaper about marriage, and how couples should take some risks into unchartered territory to expand their interests and activities. This can be done together, or separately.

Sharing interests and having separate ones as well add vitality to a marriage and keep it (and the couple) from growing stale.

--hide--



Wow. Well if a man was not interested in my interests and belittled them or made light of them or had to force himself to learn about them, that would tell me that things will pretty much not work for anything in the future.
Yes couples should have their own interests.

I have trouble imagining why someone would be interested in me but not my interests on some level... if he were interested in getting to know me..... but if a person is simply attracted to a person and it does not matter to the guy what the woman cares about, I guess it could happen...

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) John-132457 said: For the record, I like to cook. Especially for someone else. I don't mind washing the laundry ...
(Quote) John-132457 said:

For the record, I like to cook. Especially for someone else. I don't mind washing the laundry either. However, I suck at folding the laundry or keeping the kitchen clean. So she'll have to chip in. Or at least be patient with my inepitude!

--hide--


These are important points to bring up and good points to note..

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