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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said: It's all up to you John. Do you know that there are young CM members here that are Filip...
(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said:

It's all up to you John. Do you know that there are young CM members here that are Filipinos and are still living in my country. CM is worlwide. My country is projected to be one of the fastest growing economy in Asia by 2015. You can invest your dollars there. The current exchange rate is P42 per $1. Just recently I bought a piece of land there for $15,000.00 for 1/3 of a hectare (3,578 sq.m.). Be my guest. I am going there next year for 3 weeks.

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Thank you. My intent in posting to you, in light of our previouis posts in another thread, was to "rattle your cage" as it is said, but you didn't take the bait. smile This actually pleases me more than if you had. But thank you for the info on your country. I don't think I am ready to immerse myself in the culture of another country to the point of becoming a permanent resident there. Besides I am not really seeking a young wife, I am just open to it should the possibility happen.


Thanks, Liberacion. theheart

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Leon-593843 said: Marian,I would think in today's times, most women who want an element of independence....
(Quote) Leon-593843 said:

Marian,

I would think in today's times, most women who want an element of independence.

I desire a woman that not only thinks independently but has independent interests. We can do some of my interests together and vice versa. I feel men who don't see it that way have issues with their self-esteem and probably are very domineering people. Just my opinion.

As Maia stated, I do understand in the Hispanic community many women see their role as totally taking care of their spouse and children with few if any outside interests. If it works for them, so be it.

Blessings,

Leon

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Agreed Leon

Nov 17th 2012 new

I dunno...It seems to me that if this fellow has a real problem with a woman having a sense of independence, the problem is his. Perhaps he was wounded by his experiences.

While building a life together is certainly the plan, no two people will always love the same things at the same times.

Speaking for myself, it would be a red flag for me to have a fellow tell me he didn't like me to have any outside interests. This smacks of a controlling nature, and is something women are warned to avoid these days. I also appreciate a man who is comfortable enough in himself to enjoy time alone, pursuing his own interests, or hanging out with his friends or family independently of the woman he loves, without feeling guilty or neglectful of her.

Think of it in the other direction. If a woman were upset or irritated by a man's playing golf with his brother, or watching the game with his buddies, wouldn't he feel a little stifled? That woman would seem pretty insecure and co-dependent to me.

That's my 50th part of a dollar, anyway...

Nov 17th 2012 new

Absolutely - have your own interests - hobbies. This is part is what makes the whole person. Continue to grow in your own interests. Partnering is more clearly defined..And for future endeavors, bonding is more likely to occur when interests are co-sponsored, a condition that hopefully enriches the relationship...

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Thomas-118616 said: Absolutely - have your own interests - hobbies. This is part is what makes the whole person. Con...
(Quote) Thomas-118616 said:

Absolutely - have your own interests - hobbies. This is part is what makes the whole person. Continue to grow in your own interests. Partnering is more clearly defined..And for future endeavors, bonding is more likely to occur when interests are co-sponsored, a condition that hopefully enriches the relationship...

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Brilliant response Thomas! Suddenly I feel understood.

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Maggie-918313 said: I dunno...It seems to me that if this fellow has a real problem with a woman having a sense of i...
(Quote) Maggie-918313 said:

I dunno...It seems to me that if this fellow has a real problem with a woman having a sense of independence, the problem is his. Perhaps he was wounded by his experiences.

While building a life together is certainly the plan, no two people will always love the same things at the same times.

Speaking for myself, it would be a red flag for me to have a fellow tell me he didn't like me to have any outside interests. This smacks of a controlling nature, and is something women are warned to avoid these days. I also appreciate a man who is comfortable enough in himself to enjoy time alone, pursuing his own interests, or hanging out with his friends or family independently of the woman he loves, without feeling guilty or neglectful of her.

Think of it in the other direction. If a woman were upset or irritated by a man's playing golf with his brother, or watching the game with his buddies, wouldn't he feel a little stifled? That woman would seem pretty insecure and co-dependent to me.

That's my 50th part of a dollar, anyway...

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GREAT points Maggie!! Thank you for posting!

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking? Shoul...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking? Should she only be interested in the home?
What does anyone think about this? Please share your thoughts ladies and gentlemen. Are men in favor of a woman who has outside interests and wants to pursue those interests?

Are men happy when they meet a woman who has hobbies and interests or do they automatically think of redirecting her attention to him in every way? be honest...

A fine fellow here mentioned that when he heard the word independence from a woman, it had a meaning that struck a chord with him due to his experiences.

Please share and comment.. THANK YOU!!!

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I've never met a women who didn't have her own interests. I think if I did, I would consider her to be like 'brain dead'.


I think most of the posts here have covered the subject pretty thoroughly. But here's my two cents.


We are here to get to heaven and the way is Christ. To follow Christ is to invite him to reside in your heart and submit your free will to do as He does. It naturally follows for us to be of service to others out of love. To love is who we are, having been made in the image of Divine Love. Service is the way of love. But it must be voluntary service. Both men and women give this service in following the Way, especially spouses in service to each other and to their children.


If you consult the autobiographies of saints like St.Teresa of Avila, St.Catherine of Sienna, and Mother Teresa, you will gain a greater understanding of the true meaning of service. Mother Teresa had a husband (Christ) who, from the beginning of her ministry, ceased to give those spiritual consolations she had become accusomed to most her life. She was convinced, throughout her ministry to the poor, that Jesus was unhappy with her. Yet, despite no assurances of her own worth to her husband, she continued, faithfully, to serve Him with her whole heart, mind, body, and spirit. Ultimately, getting appreciation from your spouse for your service is not near as important as pleasing Jesus by serving your spouse.

Most of us are not ready for such heroics. Unfortunately, regardless of how faithfully some men and women adhere to the practice of the Catholic faith, there are some who have ridgid notions of the roles of husband and wife. You, Marian, must decide in each case whether or not a person's ridgity in these things are acceptable and worth it. If they are, then commit to them; otherwise, move on.

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) John-857142 said: I've never met a women who didn't have her own interests. I think if I did, I...
(Quote) John-857142 said:


I've never met a women who didn't have her own interests. I think if I did, I would consider her to be like 'brain dead'.


I think most of the posts here have covered the subject pretty thoroughly. But here's my .


We are here to get to heaven and the way is Christ. To follow Christ is to invite him to reside in your heart and submit your free will to do as He does. It naturally follows for us to be of service to others out of love. To love is who we are, having been made in the image of Divine Love. Service is the way of love. But it must be voluntary service. Both men and women give this service in following the Way, especially spouses in service to each other and to their children.


If you consult the autobiographies of saints like St.Teresa of Avila, St.Catherine of Sienna, and Mother Teresa, you will gain a greater understanding of the true meaning of service. Mother Teresa had a husband (Christ) who, from the beginning of her ministry, ceased to give those spiritual consolations she had become accusomed to most her life. She was convinced, throughout her ministry to the poor, that Jesus was unhappy with her. Yet, despite no assurances of her own worth to her husband, she continued, faithfully, to serve Him with her whole heart, mind, body, and spirit. Ultimately, getting appreciation from your spouse for your service is not near as important as pleasing Jesus by serving your spouse.

Most of us are not ready for such heroics. Unfortunately, regardless of how faithfully some men and women adhere to the practice of the Catholic faith, there are some who have ridgid notions of the roles of husband and wife. You, Marian, must decide in each case whether or not a person's ridgity in these things are acceptable and worth it. If they are, then commit to them; otherwise, move on.

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Hi John, Thanks for bringing up the spiritual aspect of service here and for posting using our saints as examples.

I'm Not sure without your knowing me better why you are counseling me at the end of your post. Perhaps it will apply to someone.

This topic seems to make a lot of people react strongly in lots of ways. I think it was .......daring of me to bring such things up in an open forum and expect answers from both women and men.....

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) John-857142 said: (Quote) Liberacion-894835 said: It's all up to you John. Do you know th...
(Quote) John-857142 said:

Quote:
Liberacion-894835 said:

It's all up to you John. Do you know that there are young CM members here that are Filipinos and are still living in my country. CM is worlwide. My country is projected to be one of the fastest growing economy in Asia by 2015. You can invest your dollars there. The current exchange rate is P42 per $1. Just recently I bought a piece of land there for $15,000.00 for 1/3 of a hectare (3,578 sq.m.). Be my guest. I am going there next year for 3 weeks.



Thank you. My intent in posting to you, in light of our previouis posts in another thread, was to "rattle your cage" as it is said, but you didn't take the bait. This actually pleases me more than if you had. But thank you for the info on your country. I don't think I am ready to immerse myself in the culture of another country to the point of becoming a permanent resident there. Besides I am not really seeking a young wife, I am just open to it should the possibility happen.


Thanks, Liberacion.

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I figured you were joking or rattling as you say.

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Maria-907776 said: I'm and independent women living in Australia, 10 years ago I moved to a country lifestyle pr...
(Quote) Maria-907776 said:

I'm and independent women living in Australia, 10 years ago I moved to a country lifestyle property with my husband to support his dream of living a country life and it became our shared dream with our children. 6 years later he decided that it wasn't his thing after all and he left (obviously there is a little more to this story).

After he left I did a small engines maintenance course so I could service my mowers and other machinery, I did a chainsaw course so I could cut wood. I continue to play the role of mother and father, driver, tutor and carer travelling a minimum of 50km to most services and last but not least provider working a full time job in government and an active volunteer in my community. It's a lonely life sometimes, but none the less rewarding;

I've become independent out of necessity and pragmatism not to be a threat to men (or women for that matter). If we as a faith community cannot accept others achievements or interests ans a part of who they are, then it is a sad world.

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Maria, Congratulations on being able to support your family and learn new trades to do it! You are AMAZING!

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