Faith Focused Dating. Create your Free Profile and meet your Match! Sign Up for Free
A place to learn, mingle, and share

Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Sherry-118409 said: I would have no problem doing the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the family. I wouldn'...
(Quote) Sherry-118409 said:

I would have no problem doing the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the family. I wouldn't see it as being confined to a box or a certain role. Likewise, if a man wanted to take care of the yard work and fix the car, I would be grateful! However, I would hope that once in awhile, if I've had a bad day or am really tired or busy he would be able to step in and offer to help. I would hope to do the same for him. I have no problem mowing the lawn or shoveling the driveway. Resentment would build if I felt I was doing all of the work or the work I did was not appreciated. I think the chore list would best be made if it was divided according to each person's interests and abilities.


As for interests and hobbies, I think having some shared interests is a great place to start. I think it's important for spouses/significant others to spend time together doing things that both enjoy. If each only does the things that interest them and there is nothing in common it would be difficult to maintain a relationship. It would be like operating within two separate circles, rarely meeting. However, each person does not have to be a carbon copy of the other. Each should have their own interests and hobbies, as long as they make spending time together a greater priority than the separate interests they pursue. I also think, for the sake of the other, that once in awhile each should participate in things their spouse or significant other enjoys, even if it's not a mutual interest. It's good for the relationship to take an interest in one another, even if they don't share the interest in the particular activity or hobby that is in question.

--hide--


Sherry, Thanks for posting! I agree that men and women should carefully divide the chore list. That show cooperation and support. I agreet hathey should find ways to spend time together doing what they enjoy together and maybe learning something new from each other as well if they can.

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Cathy-564420 said: OK, it's been awhile for me in the forums and this is a scary topic, but here it goes nothing...
(Quote) Cathy-564420 said:

OK, it's been awhile for me in the forums and this is a scary topic, but here it goes nothing.

Think about these three questions when forming a relationship. You can use it or lose it, but it may be a good filter for you.
Stimulus: Do the person's physical appearance, social class, and manners match your own?
Values: Do the person's values regarding sex, religion, politics, and so on match your own?
Role: Do the person's ideas about the relationship, communication style, gender roles, and so on match your own? If you answered yes to these you may form a couple.

Balance and bringing something into the relationship that the other person cannot forms a healthy relationship and is termed independent. Having independence and dependence are not a bad thing for a relationship.

Woman and men as you all know are different in terms of communication. Woman are more social-emotional in terms of their friendships and men form friends that are companions in certain interests like hunting, fishing, etc. Do I want to go hunting, maybe, maybe not. Does my future boyfriend want to hang with my girlfriends for a night of bingo with the girls, maybe, maybe not. But hopefully we do have commonalities to keep the relationship strong and give each other room for our own interests yet compliment each other on accomplishments and overall achievements.

The most important of all of these I have found in my mid life of dating headaches would be those who Pray together Stay together and you become connected or start evolving as one. Sharing a life as man and wife not as it's your turn to take out the garbage or "You should know your Role" attitude would in my opinion destroy love and you would lose heart in a relationship for both sides.

"Wive's don't nag your husbands, and husbands be good to your wives"! :)

--hide--


Cathy,

A scary topic? But your post is excellent. You said it so well. clap Bow thumbsup


Only thing is, regarding those three categories, I don't know if I will ever find a match. scratchchin

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Paul-866591 said: (Quote) Ray-566531 said: If I did that at my age, I'd have just 13 star...
(Quote) Paul-866591 said:

Quote:
Ray-566531 said:

If I did that at my age, I'd have just 13 stars on it.......


Unfortunately, the stars had to be embroidered on my flag. A skill that is totally beyond me. My mother was going to do it for me until she saw that the flag was made of wool. So the flag sits unfinished in a plastic bag. Have not seen it in years and have yet to discover where my wife put it. But then I am still looking for my old photograph album too. It has all the pictures from my youth including old flames.

Several years ago, I showed it to this lady friend who was visiting us. Have not seen it since. My kids have been scouring all over the place for photos and have not come across it either.

--hide--


Paul, Ray mentioned the "soft" side of you. I have to say I LOVE learning this and more about you Thank you for sharing!

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) John-857142 said: Cathy, A scary topic? But your post is excellent. You said it so well. ...
(Quote) John-857142 said:


Cathy,

A scary topic? But your post is excellent. You said it so well.


Only thing is, regarding those three categories, I don't know if I will ever find a match.

--hide--


It is definitely a scary topic and I will offer myself congratulations for daring as a "little woman" to bring it up in general.
Scary it is! It very often makes guys and gals run from one another and not even discuss anything!

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Cathy-564420 said: OK, it's been awhile for me in the forums and this is a scary topic, but here it goes nothing...
(Quote) Cathy-564420 said:

OK, it's been awhile for me in the forums and this is a scary topic, but here it goes nothing.

Think about these three questions when forming a relationship. You can use it or lose it, but it may be a good filter for you.
Stimulus: Do the person's physical appearance, social class, and manners match your own?
Values: Do the person's values regarding sex, religion, politics, and so on match your own?
Role: Do the person's ideas about the relationship, communication style, gender roles, and so on match your own? If you answered yes to these you may form a couple.

Balance and bringing something into the relationship that the other person cannot forms a healthy relationship and is termed independent. Having independence and dependence are not a bad thing for a relationship.

Woman and men as you all know are different in terms of communication. Woman are more social-emotional in terms of their friendships and men form friends that are companions in certain interests like hunting, fishing, etc. Do I want to go hunting, maybe, maybe not. Does my future boyfriend want to hang with my girlfriends for a night of bingo with the girls, maybe, maybe not. But hopefully we do have commonalities to keep the relationship strong and give each other room for our own interests yet compliment each other on accomplishments and overall achievements.

The most important of all of these I have found in my mid life of dating headaches would be those who Pray together Stay together and you become connected or start evolving as one. Sharing a life as man and wife not as it's your turn to take out the garbage or "You should know your Role" attitude would in my opinion destroy love and you would lose heart in a relationship for both sides.

"Wive's don't nag your husbands, and husbands be good to your wives"! :)

--hide--


Cathy, In case I have failed to say before: This is one of the best posts I have seen on CM in years. This post outlines many important points in concise language. It is EXCELLENT!!!! THANK YOU FOR POSTING CATHY! theheart

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Hi John, Thanks for bringing up the spiritual aspect of service here and for posting usin...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



Hi John, Thanks for bringing up the spiritual aspect of service here and for posting using our saints as examples.

I'm Not sure without your knowing me better why you are counseling me at the end of your post. Perhaps it will apply to someone.

This topic seems to make a lot of people react strongly in lots of ways. I think it was .......daring of me to bring such things up in an open forum and expect answers from both women and men.....

--hide--


I meant it to apply to everyone, but since I was replying to your post, I addressed it to you. Sorry!

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: It is definitely a scary topic and I will offer myself congratulations f...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



It is definitely a scary topic and I will offer myself congratulations for daring as a "little woman" to bring it up in general.
Scary it is! It very often makes guys and gals run from one another and not even discuss anything!

--hide--


I Don't get it. Why is it so scary? Why would any topic regarding forming lifetime relationships be scary? I would never run from a discussion of any topic? [Might walk away if it was a stupid topic.]


I am really puzzled by your remark.

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) John-857142 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: It is definitely a scary
(Quote) John-857142 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



It is definitely a scary topic and I will offer myself congratulations for daring as a "little woman" to bring it up in general.
Scary it is! It very often makes guys and gals run from one another and not even discuss anything!



I Don't get it. Why is it so scary? Why would any topic regarding forming lifetime relationships be scary? I would never run from a discussion of any topic? [Might walk away if it was a stupid topic.]


I am really puzzled by your remark.

--hide--



Lifelong relationships? Is that not a scary topic? No? Cathy said it was scary. Go pack to her illustrious post! Read and see what she says and then check back... You are kidding me, right?

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) John-857142 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Hi John, Thanks for bringing up the spir...
(Quote) John-857142 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:



Hi John, Thanks for bringing up the spiritual aspect of service here and for posting using our saints as examples.

I'm Not sure without your knowing me better why you are counseling me at the end of your post. Perhaps it will apply to someone.

This topic seems to make a lot of people react strongly in lots of ways. I think it was .......daring of me to bring such things up in an open forum and expect answers from both women and men.....



I meant it to apply to everyone, but since I was replying to your post, I addressed it to you. Sorry!

--hide--


AAWWW Thank you John for explaining that because we do need that aspect to come into our discussion! Thank you John! theheart God bless you and keep you! theheart

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Lifelong relationships? Is that not a scary topic? No? Cathy said it was scary. Go pa...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:




Lifelong relationships? Is that not a scary topic? No? Cathy said it was scary. Go pack to her illustrious post! Read and see what she says and then check back... You are kidding me, right?

--hide--


I've done as you asked (obedient soul as I am), rolling eyes and once again I am in awe of the intuitive grasp that Cathy has on the whole subject.


But Marian, I still find nothing scary about discussing this topic. I wonder if you are confusing discussing with doing. To actually make the commitment to form a lifelong relationship is scary, though with proper prayerful discernment, it can be less scary. However, discussing any aspect of forming such a relationship should never be scary; after all, we're just talking about it, not actually doing it.

Posts 141 - 150 of 176