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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Nov 17th 2012 new
(Quote) John-857142 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Lifelong relationships? Is that not a scar...
(Quote) John-857142 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:






Lifelong relationships? Is that not a scary topic? No? Cathy said it was scary. Go pack to her illustrious post! Read and see what she says and then check back... You are kidding me, right?







I've done as you asked (obedient soul as I am), and once again I am in awe of the intuitive grasp that Cathy has on the whole subject.




But Marian, I still find nothing scary about discussing this topic. I wonder if you are confusing discussing with doing. To actually make the commitment to form a lifelong relationship is scary, though with proper prayerful discernment, it can be less scary. However, discussing any aspect of forming such a relationship should never be scary; after all, we're just talking about it, not actually doing it.

--hide--


A good and sensible post here John. rose
Nov 17th 2012 new
Let me know.... I like to cook and yes she should have her own interests.

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking? Should she only be ...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking? Should she only be interested in the home?
What does anyone think about this? Please share your thoughts ladies and gentlemen. Are men in favor of a woman who has outside interests and wants to pursue those interests?

Are men happy when they meet a woman who has hobbies and interests or do they automatically think of redirecting her attention to him in every way? be honest...

A fine fellow here mentioned that when he heard the word independence from a woman, it had a meaning that struck a chord with him due to his experiences.

Please share and comment.. THANK YOU!!!

--hide--
Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) John-857142 said: (Quote) Marian-83994 said: Lifelong relationships? Is that not ...
(Quote) John-857142 said:

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:




Lifelong relationships? Is that not a scary topic? No? Cathy said it was scary. Go pack to her illustrious post! Read and see what she says and then check back... You are kidding me, right?



I've done as you asked (obedient soul as I am), and once again I am in awe of the intuitive grasp that Cathy has on the whole subject.


But Marian, I still find nothing scary about discussing this topic. I wonder if you are confusing discussing with doing. To actually make the commitment to form a lifelong relationship is scary, though with proper prayerful discernment, it can be less scary. However, discussing any aspect of forming such a relationship should never be scary; after all, we're just talking about it, not actually doing it.

--hide--


John,
You are relatively new here. Those of us who have been here a while remember times when there were people who would attempt to chew up a person and spit them out for what they wrote on the forums. Many of us have learned to keep quiet and avoid controversy. Any kind of preference for anything, or direct confession of anything especially in terms of prefernces or a complaint, can start a whole barrage.... and sharing that-- tips off others who are trawling for controversy or have certain issues that they can't get over.
People like me did not come to this site to argue. I have no desire to argue on or off of the forum. I don't need headaches.
there is nothing scary about discussing a topic. It was what Cathy said and I agreed- this- based on past behaviors of others in the forums.

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) John-759808 said: Let me know.... I like to cook and yes she should have her own interests. (Quote) Marian-8...
(Quote) John-759808 said: Let me know.... I like to cook and yes she should have her own interests.

Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking? Should she only be interested in the home?
What does anyone think about this? Please share your thoughts ladies and gentlemen. Are men in favor of a woman who has outside interests and wants to pursue those interests?

Are men happy when they meet a woman who has hobbies and interests or do they automatically think of redirecting her attention to him in every way? be honest...

A fine fellow here mentioned that when he heard the word independence from a woman, it had a meaning that struck a chord with him due to his experiences.

Please share and comment.. THANK YOU!!!


--hide--



Let you know what???

Where is your picture? I will check..

Nov 17th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: John,You are relatively new here. Those of us who have been here a while remember tim...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



John,
You are relatively new here. Those of us who have been here a while remember times when there were people who would attempt to chew up a person and spit them out for what they wrote on the forums. Many of us have learned to keep quiet and avoid controversy. Any kind of preference for anything, or direct confession of anything especially in terms of prefernces or a complaint, can start a whole barrage.... and sharing that-- tips off others who are trawling for controversy or have certain issues that they can't get over.
People like me did not come to this site to argue. I have no desire to argue on or off of the forum. I don't need headaches.
there is nothing scary about discussing a topic. It was what Cathy said and I agreed- this- based on past behaviors of others in the forums.

--hide--


Thank you for clueing me into where this fear is based. What you describe is like a microcosm of the current political climate in America, where increasingly we are being pressured by progressives to conform to PC thinking. I appreciate your sense of wariness. For what it is worth, I prefer to defend my right to have, express, and defend any thoughts I may have contrary to another's belief, and that includes their right to do the same. Christianity is about voluntary conversion and not about tyranny of any sort. In my opinion, people who prefer to push their views on others through personal attacks and other tyrannical methods should not be allowed to participate in CM.


Blessings theheart

Nov 18th 2012 new

This is a very old fashioned question - some women with a large family might not have the time to fit in their own interests but would like to

Nov 18th 2012 new
Yes! A woman should absolutely have her own interests. I don't remember who, but someone on here mentioned that when two people begin dating or get married they can share their own interests and create new ones together. For example, I am not really into watching sports, but I don't dislike them. If I began dating someone who really loved baseball I wouldn't mind going to see a game once in a while as long as it didn't take away from some of the things I enjoy doing, like going to see concerts and dancing. I think that in a strong relationship two people should be open and respectful to each others needs and interests. Besides, that makes things a lot moreinteresting!
Nov 18th 2012 new

(Quote) Mary-251045 said: This is a very old fashioned question - some women with a large family might not have the time to ...
(Quote) Mary-251045 said:

This is a very old fashioned question - some women with a large family might not have the time to fit in their own interests but would like to

--hide--


Well, Mary, obviously, if they don't have time, then there's no time for other interests. The questiion is, Is there a justifiable way to make time for other interests. Note: I assume that taking care home and family is one of her primary interests, otherwise she wouldn't be there. We all have time management issues. I, now, live alone, but do not have time for some interests I would like to do, simply because I am not willing to make room for them, that is, I am not willing to sacrifice time needed in work or in current interests.

So, there has been a strong movement over the last 15 or 20 years for women to put their own needs first, and family second. I think the mantra is something like, "You must take of yourself, first." On the surface this seems most logical. But many progressives are using this to change the way we think about responsibility to mean a woman must put her own wants (as opposed to her true needs) first before shouldering resposibilities to others. This is contrary to the Christian concept of sacrificial love.

However, there are some practical solutions to this problem in time management. All of my many uncles and aunts and my own parents had large families. Children were put to work in the home at an early age. The 4 or five year old taking care of the younger children, even getting them ready for bed. The six yr old changing diapers. There is a 14 yr spread between myself and my youngest sibling. At family gatherings, I can state factually that I have changed the diapers of all of my siblings, which still disturbs some of them (which is why I remind them). Of course, we were all recruited to clean various parts of the house, including our own rooms.

It was also common for the fathers to take one night a week and handle everything, allowing moms to go out and do other things. But in many cases, a mom would stay at home and use that free time to do other things for the family she always wanted to do, but never had the time. In a loving family, all things are workable.



Nov 18th 2012 new

I think it's great when everyone has hobbies and outside interests. Makes them well-rounded people. I also think that if you're a couple, you have to do a little shift and not live exactly the way you did as a single. But that's kind of common sense. Love would guide you.

Nov 18th 2012 new

(Quote) Dave-919372 said: I think it's great when everyone has hobbies and outside interests. Makes them well-rounded pe...
(Quote) Dave-919372 said:

I think it's great when everyone has hobbies and outside interests. Makes them well-rounded people. I also think that if you're a couple, you have to do a little shift and not live exactly the way you did as a single. But that's kind of common sense. Love would guide you.

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I agree- You would not live as a single anymore. Good point!

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