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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Tim-734178 said: Can I take the fifth on this? 
(Quote) Tim-734178 said: Can I take the fifth on this? 
--hide--


No way, Tim. There is a presumption in civil law that if you "take the fifth", the court can assume you did the "bad" thing you were asked to give testimony concerning. So fess up or we'll all be presuming the worse. flamed eyepopping stir the pot! Its getting cold!


- Elizabeth

Nov 15th 2012 new

Let us put aside any discussion of Mexican or any other ethnic culture. It serves no useful purpose in a discussion like this. If you want to understand the Mexican culture, fine.

We live in the US of A in the year 2012. So the only culture that matters is this one. Unfortunately today in our culture it is just not rationally possible for a women to be solely and completely a housewife. In most families, it is an absolutely necessity that both partners work. Not because they want two homes, a car for everyone and every occasion etc. But it is a necessity for survival. So if both partners are not able to bring home the bacon, the family is in trouble.

Even if, a family is well off enough that both don't have to work, the roles demanded of the stay at home partner are such that they darn well had better develop diverse interests.

But even that aside, in my own life I looked at the practical side of things. If something happened to me; death, serious illness, disability, etc. even divorce; I loved my wife enough to want to be sure that she could make her way without me. That required that she have a marketable skill; a functioning brain that would allow her to do the things necessary to live.

Still looking at it solely from the practical side. Like most families, over our 51 years, we had a lot of ups and downs. Really rough days economically as well as easy days. I relied on her advise and ideas. Two of the best investments I ever made were her suggestions. Its just too bad she died just as we were in the position of kicking back and enjoying the fruits of what we both brought to the marriage.

The only interest she picked up that drove me crazy was her obsession with politics during the last 10 years of her life. The obsession was eating her up with worry over the world our children were going to have to live in. A lot of those worries are turning out to be well founded. But then, I long ago learned that she did have a very good head on her shoulder and was someone that should be listened to, even if you did not agree with her. She intuitively arrived at conclusions that I could only arrive at after a lot of reasoning.

She was a teacher who taught gifted kids, the brightest and the best, and she was darn good at it. She learned from them as much as they did from her.

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said: It is not only in Mexico, Maia. In my country too, the Philippines. We were under Spain for ...
(Quote) Liberacion-894835 said:

It is not only in Mexico, Maia. In my country too, the Philippines. We were under Spain for 360 years and was trading with Mexico, being the center route from my country to Spain. I think the teaching of women being submissive to women comes from our Catholic Faith. All countries that were under Spain have this kind of culture. Do not wonder why so many American men mostly 40 and up goes to my country to find a wife who will serve, and coming from a poor country these men lure the girls as young as 17 years old with the promise of coming to America. and for those who came here via this route ends up in servitude. Of course there are exceptions, because I also know of good American men going there for a wife, respect and takes care of his Filipino wife because they find some American women as too independent. Three of my sisters are married to white Caucasian men who are good and loving to them. My sisters were single when they came here. They met their husbands here. They are in their 39, 26, and 24 years of marital bliss.

--hide--


So what do you think, Liberacion, should I go to the Philippines to find a young wife to start a new family? pirate gangster duck

Nov 15th 2012 new

(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said: No way, Tim. There is a presumption in civil law that if you "take the fift...
(Quote) Elizabeth-462557 said:


No way, Tim. There is a presumption in civil law that if you "take the fifth", the court can assume you did the "bad" thing you were asked to give testimony concerning. So fess up or we'll all be presuming the worse.


- Elizabeth

--hide--


Aw heck, Tim, take the fifth and consume it all and you won't care what they all are presuming. Cheers! Cheers! Cheers! faint

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking? Shoul...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking? Should she only be interested in the home?
What does anyone think about this? Please share your thoughts ladies and gentlemen. Are men in favor of a woman who has outside interests and wants to pursue those interests?

Are men happy when they meet a woman who has hobbies and interests or do they automatically think of redirecting her attention to him in every way? be honest...

A fine fellow here mentioned that when he heard the word independence from a woman, it had a meaning that struck a chord with him due to his experiences.

Please share and comment.. THANK YOU!!!

--hide--


No interests for you! boggled laughing Women belong in the house and in particular in the kitchen and when married, then we can add barefoot and pregnant. wide eyed laughing I keed. I keed. I keed.

What's interesting about this thread is the word, "independence". I think a number of people have alluded to this term being a loaded term. Unfortunately for some men, it brings negative connotations, which would include myself. Now, if the word, "independence" was explained, then the negativity could potentially neutralized. My experience with the terms comes from hard left wing feminist who feel women are better off without men. That we're nothing more than sperm donors and that they don't need nor want us after the baby is born. These women feel angry to me and want to make men suffer. So, I think the word, "independence" is to be used with caution. Not saying women are not or can not be independent, just saying it's a loaded term that I feel has been hijacked by organizations like NOW.

To answer the questions, "Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking?" I believe a woman should have the interests she desires. If those interests are in the home and in particular in the kitchen, then so be it. If it's outside the kitchen and outside the home then so be it. I think she should be able to pursue whatever she wants. I mean, I'm not saying she pursue something immoral, just that she does have free will and should follow her heart's desire.

"Are men happy when they meet a woman who has hobbies and interests or do they automatically think of redirecting her attention to him in every way? be honest..." Actually, I'm happy when she has a hobby and interest. To me it shows she's interesting and interested in developing herself. I've seen it where a woman dates a man and starts taking up his hobbies, then breaks up with him and dates a different guy and starts taking up his hobbies/interests. I don't think that's healthy. I think it's more about trying to be what's pleasing to the guy instead of being their own person.

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Paul-866591 said: Let us put aside any discussion of Mexican or any other ethnic culture. It serves no useful purpos...
(Quote) Paul-866591 said:

Let us put aside any discussion of Mexican or any other ethnic culture. It serves no useful purpose in a discussion like this. If you want to understand the Mexican culture, fine.

We live in the US of A in the year 2012. So the only culture that matters is this one. Unfortunately today in our culture it is just not rationally possible for a women to be solely and completely a housewife. In most families, it is an absolutely necessity that both partners work. Not because they want two homes, a car for everyone and every occasion etc. But it is a necessity for survival. So if both partners are not able to bring home the bacon, the family is in trouble.

Even if, a family is well off enough that both don't have to work, the roles demanded of the stay at home partner are such that they darn well had better develop diverse interests.

But even that aside, in my own life I looked at the practical side of things. If something happened to me; death, serious illness, disability, etc. even divorce; I loved my wife enough to want to be sure that she could make her way without me. That required that she have a marketable skill; a functioning brain that would allow her to do the things necessary to live.

Still looking at it solely from the practical side. Like most families, over our 51 years, we had a lot of ups and downs. Really rough days economically as well as easy days. I relied on her advise and ideas. Two of the best investments I ever made were her suggestions. Its just too bad she died just as we were in the position of kicking back and enjoying the fruits of what we both brought to the marriage.

The only interest she picked up that drove me crazy was her obsession with politics during the last 10 years of her life. The obsession was eating her up with worry over the world our children were going to have to live in. A lot of those worries are turning out to be well founded. But then, I long ago learned that she did have a very good head on her shoulder and was someone that should be listened to, even if you did not agree with her. She intuitively arrived at conclusions that I could only arrive at after a lot of reasoning.

She was a teacher who taught gifted kids, the brightest and the best, and she was darn good at it. She learned from them as much as they did from her.

--hide--


Your wife sounds very gifted herself! You were so lucky (blessed) to be married to her!!! and she to you!

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Dan-656122 said: No interests for you! Women belong in the house and in particular in the kitchen and when m...
(Quote) Dan-656122 said:



No interests for you! Women belong in the house and in particular in the kitchen and when married, then we can add barefoot and pregnant. I keed. I keed. I keed.

What's interesting about this thread is the word, "independence". I think a number of people have alluded to this term being a loaded term. Unfortunately for some men, it brings negative connotations, which would include myself. Now, if the word, "independence" was explained, then the negativity could potentially neutralized. My experience with the terms comes from hard left wing feminist who feel women are better off without men. That we're nothing more than sperm donors and that they don't need nor want us after the baby is born. These women feel angry to me and want to make men suffer. So, I think the word, "independence" is to be used with caution. Not saying women are not or can not be independent, just saying it's a loaded term that I feel has been hijacked by organizations like NOW.

To answer the questions, "Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking?" I believe a woman should have the interests she desires. If those interests are in the home and in particular in the kitchen, then so be it. If it's outside the kitchen and outside the home then so be it. I think she should be able to pursue whatever she wants. I mean, I'm not saying she pursue something immoral, just that she does have free will and should follow her heart's desire.

"Are men happy when they meet a woman who has hobbies and interests or do they automatically think of redirecting her attention to him in every way? be honest..." Actually, I'm happy when she has a hobby and interest. To me it shows she's interesting and interested in developing herself. I've seen it where a woman dates a man and starts taking up his hobbies, then breaks up with him and dates a different guy and starts taking up his hobbies/interests. I don't think that's healthy. I think it's more about trying to be what's pleasing to the guy instead of being their own person.

--hide--


I hate that "the feminists" ruined this discussion from years ago. It is too bad. I am in no way advocating their negativity, only that two people-a man and a woman- should be able to bring lots to the table. Obviously women did nto have that opportunity in the past. I am not talking about ignoring one's husband but I am talking about finding ways to share these interests together.

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Tim-734178 said: Can I take the fifth on this? 
(Quote) Tim-734178 said: Can I take the fifth on this? 
--hide--


No you may not. Please share. I am sure you have a story to share. But truly only if you want to. I am not advocating that women ignore their husbands.

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Angie-853770 said: Hi Marian! OMG... I can't help but respond to this. If a man wants a woman who has no ...
(Quote) Angie-853770 said:

Hi Marian!

OMG... I can't help but respond to this. If a man wants a woman who has no interests outside of food and cooking, then I think that he should spend his time watching Little House on the Prairie reruns...or go to Home Depot's garden department and purchase a clinging vine. Otherwise, any real woman who fits that description sounds pretty flat and one dimensional. That doesn't sound like much of a partner/spouse to me!


Quote:
Marian-83994 said:

Should a woman have her own interests or should she only be interested in food and cooking? Should she only be interested in the home?
What does anyone think about this? Please share your thoughts ladies and gentlemen. Are men in favor of a woman who has outside interests and wants to pursue those interests?

Are men happy when they meet a woman who has hobbies and interests or do they automatically think of redirecting her attention to him in every way? be honest...

A fine fellow here mentioned that when he heard the word independence from a woman, it had a meaning that struck a chord with him due to his experiences.

Please share and comment.. THANK YOU!!!


--hide--

If a man and woman are of a certain age where it is doubtful there will be children resulting from there union, is it THEN OK for the woman to have her own interests besides cooking? Men? What say you?

Nov 16th 2012 new

(Quote) Marian-83994 said: I hate that "the feminists" ruined this discussion from years ago. It is too ba...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:



I hate that "the feminists" ruined this discussion from years ago. It is too bad. I am in no way advocating their negativity, only that two people-a man and a woman- should be able to bring lots to the table. Obviously women did nto have that opportunity in the past. I am not talking about ignoring one's husband but I am talking about finding ways to share these interests together.

--hide--


Yeah, I would agree. I think there's a balance in it all and part of that is a man and a woman sharing interests and doing things together. I think both should bring different things to the table and that way they can teach each other and I think there's something to be said for them sharing an interest they don't know how to do and they can learn together.

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