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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 25th 2012 new

(Quote) Lina-796057 said:
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

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Sorry. Cannot decipher this answer. Please repeat.

Nov 25th 2012 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: I see that you and Lina are following the Gospel message to "adminish the sinner". <...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

I see that you and Lina are following the Gospel message to "adminish the sinner".

One of my past work places allowed for listening to the radio at work as the labor was mostly physical. The religious programs on the air at the time were Protestant ones such as Point of View with Marlin Maddoux from Dallas, TX ( http://www.pointofview.net). I listened to the shows that were mainly cultural because in that area, as opposed to doctrine, the opinions largely agreed with Catholic views. From such programs I became very familiar with the Protestant expression, "personal relationship with Jesus Christ". What I was saying to Madonna was that a lot of people don't reach that stage early in life, but are still adequate to get married in the Catholic Church. I was also saying that I think, God gives people time to reach that stage.

Thumping my Bible, but not thumbing my nose,

John

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My reply to this post got inside your quote, John.

I had neither admonishment nor sinning in mind when replying to you, John. I just thought maybe you read into Madonna's reply more than she intended--but I don't know, as Madonna has yet to return to perhaps clarify her intent.

Being close to Jesus may not be something that some people achieve early in life. Some people may not achieve it later in life, either. But in choosing a mate, many prefer to have one whose beliefs are closely aligned with theirs.

Nov 27th 2012 new

(Quote) Lina-796057 said: My reply to this post got inside your quote, John. I had neither admonishment nor sinning ...
(Quote) Lina-796057 said:

My reply to this post got inside your quote, John.

I had neither admonishment nor sinning in mind when replying to you, John. I just thought maybe you read into Madonna's reply more than she intended--but I don't know, as Madonna has yet to return to perhaps clarify her intent.

Being close to Jesus may not be something that some people achieve early in life. Some people may not achieve it later in life, either. But in choosing a mate, many prefer to have one whose beliefs are closely aligned with theirs.

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Hi Lina,

So you placed the reply inside my quote. And I had thought that only criminals were involved in inside jobs. eyepopping

Regarding what Madonna wrote, I just wanted to make sure that there was room for very repentant publicans in Catholic Match as there was in the Gospel. Some people may not actually be self-righteous, but may unconsciously write in a way that suggest that kind of attitude. Admittedly there are probably unrepentant publicans. wide eyed

John

Nov 27th 2012 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Have you ever dated the-center-of-attention type? If so, what was it like? Would you prefer...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Have you ever dated the-center-of-attention type? If so, what was it like?

Would you prefer dating the-center-of-attention type? If so, why?

Would you not likely even think about dating the-center-of-attention type? If not, why not?

If you are the-center-of-attention type, do you find much of a market for your brand?

Wondering whether women would consider a grade-school, center-of-detention type,

John

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1. I have dated the Center-of-attention type. It was a lot of fun, but sometimes hard to get a word in edgewise in a group setting. She was the center of attention because she was funny and bold, though, not because of dramatics.


2. I like dating the Center-of-attention type, but I'm that type as a man, most of the time, in social settings outside my family and close friends. Again, because I'm witty, a good conversationalist, and bold, I hear. I don't like it when you are competing, so to speak. I don't compete, but sometimes the girl does. I do not find the wallflower or phlegmatic personality type attractive at all. No introverts for me, but a passive people person is fine.


3. Yes. Women like confident men. Outgoing men are perceived as charismatic and confident. I've had younger people, male and female, the last several months, tell me I was very charismatic. The woman I almost bought a ring with, though, was turned off by it. She was the wallflower type. I couldn't handle that. She was embarassed or angry when other women talked to me----I took her to an indoor hot tub/Hawaiian themed Mardi Gras. Many attractive women in beach wear hugged me or touched me (women that were friends or even relatives in some cases); she was angry. She criticized me, though, at other times, for being too willing to jump into conversations or meet strangers. She told me I would subdue her already subdued personality. She even asked me to change my hair color----its not obvious because of lighting in the pictures, but it is what my family members with it call "chestnut brown," so it is not dark brown like in my pictures (think of the comic Green Lantern character). She wanted me to make it black (she did the same thing to her hair, turned it black from brown). She asked me to wear drab colors and less bright clothing. . . she wanted to turn me into a wallflower to match. . . . the opposite of those "makeover" movies. It was a mess, really, but it took eight months to discover her true feelings.


So, I find a market for myself, its just usually not the right age for me, or there are other factors (ex-husband drama, ex-boyfriend drama, actually, just plain drama) that make me market myself online instead. But there are, as seen by my ex's response, women who are turned off by bold men.


Nov 27th 2012 new


However, having someone to share the "spotlight" with would outweigh any joy I could get from being the center of attention myself. Having someone you are proud of and want to show off is a double-sided sort of attention I am very fond of. Like my ex-bf is very talented, speaks 7 languages, was a fulbright scholar, graduated summa cum laude and all- I went to a career fair for him and enjoyed talking him up to the vendors so much! I wasn't even there for myself :)

[/quote]


I would enjoy sharing the spotlight, too. Maybe a Jackie Kennedy type, who does well in public, but is introspective. . . .that's different from introverted. And she got PLENTY of attention. . .


It sounds like there were elements were both of you could display your talents and abilities, and it was great. I'd like that, instead of always being resented or envied. Maybe I should not wear the "Cocky" belt buckle with casual clothes. . .

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Lynn-189934 said: 1. I have dated the Center-of-attention type. It was a lot of fun, but sometimes hard ...
(Quote) Lynn-189934 said:




1. I have dated the Center-of-attention type. It was a lot of fun, but sometimes hard to get a word in edgewise in a group setting. She was the center of attention because she was funny and bold, though, not because of dramatics.


2. I like dating the Center-of-attention type, but I'm that type as a man, most of the time, in social settings outside my family and close friends. Again, because I'm witty, a good conversationalist, and bold, I hear. I don't like it when you are competing, so to speak. I don't compete, but sometimes the girl does. I do not find the wallflower or phlegmatic personality type attractive at all. No introverts for me, but a passive people person is fine.


3. Yes. Women like confident men. Outgoing men are perceived as charismatic and confident. I've had younger people, male and female, the last several months, tell me I was very charismatic. The woman I almost bought a ring with, though, was turned off by it. She was the wallflower type. I couldn't handle that. She was embarassed or angry when other women talked to me----I took her to an indoor hot tub/Hawaiian themed Mardi Gras. Many attractive women in beach wear hugged me or touched me (women that were friends or even relatives in some cases); she was angry. She criticized me, though, at other times, for being too willing to jump into conversations or meet strangers. She told me I would subdue her already subdued personality. She even asked me to change my hair color----its not obvious because of lighting in the pictures, but it is what my family members with it call "chestnut brown," so it is not dark brown like in my pictures (think of the comic Green Lantern character). She wanted me to make it black (she did the same thing to her hair, turned it black from brown). She asked me to wear drab colors and less bright clothing. . . she wanted to turn me into a wallflower to match. . . . the opposite of those "makeover" movies. It was a mess, really, but it took eight months to discover her true feelings.


So, I find a market for myself, its just usually not the right age for me, or there are other factors (ex-husband drama, ex-boyfriend drama, actually, just plain drama) that make me market myself online instead. But there are, as seen by my ex's response, women who are turned off by bold men.

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Hi Lynn,

Thanks for mentioning some of your experiences as and with a COA. Other COAs have also noted that they like dating another COA.

What do you mean by a passive people person? A good and friendly listener?

It's interesting though that, despite being a COA, you did have a significant connection to, in your words, a wallflower-type.

It might be interesting for someone to write a topic about those women who are turned off by COA men. Since you are a one, why don't you do it? scratchchin

John

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Hi Lynn, Thanks for mentioning some of your experiences as and with a COA. Other COAs have ...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Hi Lynn,

Thanks for mentioning some of your experiences as and with a COA. Other COAs have also noted that they like dating another COA.

What do you mean by a passive people person? A good and friendly listener?

It's interesting though that, despite being a COA, you did have a significant connection to, in your words, a wallflower-type.

It might be interesting for someone to write a topic about those women who are turned off by COA men. Since you are a one, why don't you do it?

John

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I may do just that. To define the Passive People Person, someone who is friendly, not aloof but not necessarily forward, and enjoys mingling but maybe not actively participating in every conversation.

Keep in mind, when I was attracted to the wallflower, we went on dates alone for a long time. . . I didn't realize she was one until we went to a group setting. She was very strong-willed and critical to me privately and very mealy-mouthed in public.

Nov 28th 2012 new

(Quote) Lynn-189934 said: I may do just that. To define the Passive People Person, someone who is friendly, not aloof but no...
(Quote) Lynn-189934 said:

I may do just that. To define the Passive People Person, someone who is friendly, not aloof but not necessarily forward, and enjoys mingling but maybe not actively participating in every conversation.

Keep in mind, when I was attracted to the wallflower, we went on dates alone for a long time. . . I didn't realize she was one until we went to a group setting. She was very strong-willed and critical to me privately and very mealy-mouthed in public.

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A COA like you could better represent the COA's point of view than someone like me. You'd be able to handle any questions about or criticism of the COA more expertly than I could.

Thanks for giving that additional context, that the lady's initial image was not that of a wall flower.

Dec 1st 2012 new

(Quote) Donna-871766 said:But we love you John, Thumping or Thumbing, because that is who you are.
(Quote) Donna-871766 said:

But we love you John, Thumping or Thumbing, because that is who you are.

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Thanks as long as no one is thumping her nose noticably noisily. eyepopping

Dec 1st 2012 new

(Quote) John-184825 said: Hi Eileen, Thanks for relating your real life adventures with COAs. You made some ob...
(Quote) John-184825 said:

Hi Eileen,

Thanks for relating your real life adventures with COAs.

You made some observations that are original, or at least new to me. I was especially struck by this portion:

Generally speaking, that personality is really looking to be noticed for something more than their exterior ....

I would have thought that many, if not most, of the center-of-attention types were attention-seekers through loudness and other extremes mainly because they lacked development of their real inner self or their actual personality to show to the world. My ideas have not come from such real and direct experiences as yours. It was helpful to read a more complete description of the center-of-attention types from somebody with direct contact with them.

Wondering how many COAs are in the CIA where they shouldn't be,

John

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Hi John,

Here it is all these days later, and I find myself thinking about something you said. I have read all that was said in your thread and people's input. I did a self analysis and as it turns out, 4 out of the 5 men that were in my life are COA. Huh!!! I never realized and all with varying
degrees of this behavior. Ultimately, it turns out that they all need support of a type i.e. encouragement, some petting of ego but not only
from me but all around them. Huh again.

Oh, and I did take Carmen's que and took a peek at your pic too! Curiosity and all that! It's funny but you look like your personality.

Eileen

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