I join you in saying that you learned a lot from those who posted here. My knowledge has been increased a lot by their opinions and real-life experiences.
Regarding your words, Ultimately, it turns out that they all need support of a type i.e. encouragement, some petting of ego but not only
from me but all around them, I noticed two other women who made observations that were somewhat similar and of course you have already seen these, but maybe a refresher is in order as those posts may not be in your mind at the moment.
I have to say this after 16 years with a COA type. The facade of the fun-loving, care-free extrovert was a bit of a mask. He had a deep need for acceptance from others whether at work, socially, or at home - but the acceptance he demanded was not just about who he was as an individual, but his destructive behaviors as well. The moment I called him on a behavior (such as routinely staying out till 2am - ie, cheating), I had to duck.
There are two different COA types I have dated.
1. The have to have attention for the sake of attention. This type seeks others to fawn all over them, tries to keep the growd focused on them.
2. Te popular person who everyone knows and likes. This person is good at getting groups talking and laughing. This type doesn't always seek the attention, it just kind of happens.
I tend to avoid type 1 but would easily date type 2 again. And it is possible to have a good time with a COA type even when you are not one yourself.
So you see, I do have photos after all. I remember one comment about my photos from a women about fours years ago because it was rather unusual. I can't remember her exact words, but she said something to the effect that I was hiding or holding back my real self from coming forward to be seen. Oh well, can't please 'em all.
Hiding out in front of the camera,
Just a slip of the fingers ...sorry just waking up. I think your photo is very handsome. You look conservative but I can see your
personality. Do you know what I was thinking today? I know you give up so here goes. I didn't realize how computer dating
worked really. I think it is one dimensional and unless you take the time to actually listen to the person (now I am saying it
not in the dating sense of the word but people wise i.e. men and women) get to know them for what they contribute, it is
like writing letters abroad. I sometimes like to look at the pic and imagine them talking and listening so it makes it more personal.
Now when I write to you, I will see you standing on the street with your city in the background and know you are real and not
just words on my computer. I do have a tendency to think in pictures as I have said before here. Even when I am listening to
someone talk, the movie of what is being said it playing in my mind. Crazy, huh?
Back to the COA and what Alice wrote....oh yes, I did see that behavior. I think it must be exhausting being the COA and when
he would come home, the hair came down and and everything caught in it went flying. I used to say to him, you are a married
man living a single life. He finally heard those words along with how stubborn he could be and actually asked some of his
co-workers what they thought. They reinforced my evaluation and he was truly astounded. Sometimes the reflection in the
mirror is not pretty.
The other "person" is one that really wants to be accepted and loved by everyone. We all know that is impossible but he just
liked the feeling that people would perk up and converse, tease (not like that), paying attention to the point that there wasn't anyone
left in the room but them two. Being on the outside and invisable is not where I want to be either.
All in all, I want to be the princess, John. That sounds a little silly at this age but you know the video of the queen (or princess) riding
in the state car with the all so practiced wave? She knows people are acknowledging her and she is also recognizing them but stays
a little aloof and private like she has a secret? Maybe I like that sometimes. LOL! Man oh Man where do these ideas come from?
What is on your plate today John? It is Sunday and I was wondering if you are one of those people who have a set menu that
you eat from every week like the underwear that I would wear when I was a little girl with the days of the week on them. HA!HA! HA!
I make myself laugh because NOBODY gets my sense of humor like me. Or are you someone that likes to think out of the box and
have wasabi peas in your pantry along with spicy salsa. Go ahead and tell me..."enquiring" minds want to know.