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This room is for the discussion of current events,cultural issues and politics especially in relation to Catholic values.

Saint Thomas More was martyred during the Protestant Reformation for standing firm in the Faith and not recognizing the King of England as the Supreme Head of the Church.
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Nov 21st 2012 new

I think that many people who survived have used detachment as a buffer. It's not easily recovered from. I've spent years in therapy and untold hours with spiritual counsel. This is a good topic Chelsea, but I think none of the answers are cut and dried. Mostly prayer is needed, for healing, for God's grace to move on and for compassion for all the mental health issues - for the perpetrators and the victims.


Truth, it wasn't until about a few years ago that I truly felt 'love the sinner, hate the sin' in my heart. I learned to forgive all things. God forgave me. I have no right to withhold that from someone else. I do not need to accept the behavior as right; I do not need to spend time in the presence of these people, but I must forgive, or I am wrong in the eyes of God.

Nov 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Chelsea-743484 said: It sounds like you actually took it seriously that this abuse was bad for chi...
(Quote) Chelsea-743484 said:

It sounds like you actually took it seriously that this abuse was bad for children. Other parents seem to take the stance that, "it happened to me and I got over it and I'm ok, so if it happens to my kids they'll get over it and be ok." I find that disgusting.

Thanks for your input.

--hide--
A person never gets over it. I find a lot of what you post disgusting, quite frankly. The constant judgments of other people and thinking you know it all.

Nov 21st 2012 new

I apologize Chelsea for taking that last one personally.

Nov 21st 2012 new

(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: I apologize Chelsea for taking that last one personally.
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:

I apologize Chelsea for taking that last one personally.

--hide--


It happens...it's why His Divine Majesty warns us in the Gospel to "judge not according to the appearance, but judge just judgment." (John 7:24)

I'm sorry you suffered some abuse; it's terrible. I am sorry if some of my remarks come across as inflammatory to you. I have a clinical way about me, and I intend no offense, but I have noticed most people do take offense due to subjective reception of emotional overtones to my words which are not objectively conveyed.

I will try always not to be inflammatory, but I can't promise that you won't get bad feelings about some things I say. All I ask is that people who read what I write look to the denotations of the words I use rather than any perceived connotation.

I wish you well in your search for happiness in your life, and I hope you find what you seek.

Nov 24th 2012 new

(Quote) Marirose-887295 said: A person never gets over it. I find a lot of what you post disgusting, quite frankly. The cons...
(Quote) Marirose-887295 said:

A person never gets over it. I find a lot of what you post disgusting, quite frankly. The constant judgments of other people and thinking you know it all.

--hide--




I've heard of many people whose lives have been destroyed because of the abuse they suffered. Their drug habits or other traits of their broken lives are then used to discredit them if they try to expose their abusers. I talked to one man who said he had been abused by a priest; this man was deliberately trying to get excommunicated by the Catholic Church because he hated the Church so much. I hope people such as he can make peace with the Catholic Church and direct their hatred toward the real culprits who exploit the Church to their own ends.

Nov 24th 2012 new

And many, many, MANY more victims of abuse went on to happy, productive lives despite being abused. The drug issue is a cop out, and no, I will not apologize for saying so. I was molested as a child. I grew up, did YEARS of therapy, but still lived my life.


Life is ten percent what happens to you, and ninety percent what you do with it. While we had no control over how we were treated as children, as adults we have a responsibility to become productive members of society. I can clearly give you time, and time and time again when God carried me through grief. Yes, abuse can lead to addiction. It is our responsibility walk away from that and carry on.


Yes, I speak as a 30+ year veteran of Al-Anon. My dad was sober 25 years when he died. My exhusband is an active alcoholic who is also abusive on every level. SO WHAT?? I am an active member of my parish. I serve with two different ministries, going into training for a third next month and a fourth in the wings. I work full time, go to school half time (or better), and have taken financial responsibility for my daughter (and her son) so that she could go back to school when her husband left. We are only victims if we choose to continue to be victims.


I have better tools now. I seek God's guidance in ALL of my life decisions. I have never been happier, more fulfilled or more at peace than I have been the past two years. THAT is my reward for turning victimization over to God and asking for healing. heart

Nov 25th 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: And many, many, MANY more victims of abuse went on to happy, productive lives despite being a...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:

And many, many, MANY more victims of abuse went on to happy, productive lives despite being abused. The drug issue is a cop out, and no, I will not apologize for saying so. I was molested as a child. I grew up, did YEARS of therapy, but still lived my life.


Life is ten percent what happens to you, and ninety percent what you do with it. While we had no control over how we were treated as children, as adults we have a responsibility to become productive members of society. I can clearly give you time, and time and time again when God carried me through grief. Yes, abuse can lead to addiction. It is our responsibility walk away from that and carry on.


Yes, I speak as a 30+ year veteran of Al-Anon. My dad was sober 25 years when he died. My exhusband is an active alcoholic who is also abusive on every level. SO WHAT?? I am an active member of my parish. I serve with two different ministries, going into training for a third next month and a fourth in the wings. I work full time, go to school half time (or better), and have taken financial responsibility for my daughter (and her son) so that she could go back to school when her husband left. We are only victims if we choose to continue to be victims.


I have better tools now. I seek God's guidance in ALL of my life decisions. I have never been happier, more fulfilled or more at peace than I have been the past two years. THAT is my reward for turning victimization over to God and asking for healing.

--hide--


I agree with you that our choices are primarily what define us, not any passive circumstance we may go through. Thank you, again, for your input.

Nov 25th 2012 new

(Quote) Paul-866591 said: Why would a person abadon the Church as a result of the scandal? Propbably because they k...
(Quote) Paul-866591 said:

Why would a person abadon the Church as a result of the scandal? Propbably because they knew and lacked a true functional knowledge of the faith they professed.

--hide--
Some were lax to beging with, or at least just lukewarm, and this problem provided them with an excuse.

Nov 25th 2012 new

(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said: And many, many, MANY more victims of abuse went on to happy, productive lives despite being a...
(Quote) AnneMarie-641597 said:

And many, many, MANY more victims of abuse went on to happy, productive lives despite being abused. The drug issue is a cop out, and no, I will not apologize for saying so. I was molested as a child. I grew up, did YEARS of therapy, but still lived my life.


Life is ten percent what happens to you, and ninety percent what you do with it. While we had no control over how we were treated as children, as adults we have a responsibility to become productive members of society. I can clearly give you time, and time and time again when God carried me through grief. Yes, abuse can lead to addiction. It is our responsibility walk away from that and carry on.


Yes, I speak as a 30+ year veteran of Al-Anon. My dad was sober 25 years when he died. My exhusband is an active alcoholic who is also abusive on every level. SO WHAT?? I am an active member of my parish. I serve with two different ministries, going into training for a third next month and a fourth in the wings. I work full time, go to school half time (or better), and have taken financial responsibility for my daughter (and her son) so that she could go back to school when her husband left. We are only victims if we choose to continue to be victims.


I have better tools now. I seek God's guidance in ALL of my life decisions. I have never been happier, more fulfilled or more at peace than I have been the past two years. THAT is my reward for turning victimization over to God and asking for healing.

--hide--
I agree with you also. I too spent years in Al-Anon, and counseling. However, it took 7 years for me to tell anybody abount what happened. It was only after I was self-destructing and there were consequences due to that. I do not blame that on anybody else but if you do not deal with things it finds a way out. Often in those circumstances, other people do not recognize the problem (or root cause of the problem), in my case they just saw the acting out and labeled me as a rebel. It showed up in as an eating disorder and not realizing that I had dignity and deserved to be treated with respect.

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