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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Nov 20th 2012 new

(Quote) Chris-840826 said: I would compare getting over shyness to learning how to swim. A person can never learn to...
(Quote) Chris-840826 said:



I would compare getting over shyness to learning how to swim. A person can never learn to swim without jumping into the water first.

Just the same way, a person stops being shy by throwing themselves into social situations until they no longer have that problem. Just keep plugging at it until it does not feel awkward anymore and just feels second nature to be social.

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Chris, you are wise beyond your years. Very well said!

Nov 20th 2012 new
(Quote) Chris-840826 said: (Quote) John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opp...
(Quote) Chris-840826 said:

Quote:
John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opposite sex about talking without sounding boring or too intense?



I would compare getting over shyness to learning how to swim. A person can never learn to swim without jumping into the water first.



Just the same way, a person stops being shy by throwing themselves into social situations until they no longer have that problem. Just keep plugging at it until it does not feel awkward anymore and just feels second nature to be social.

--hide--


I am not going to say your wrong but that's quite a leap in life, since I can't swim it would be frightening to just jump in the water, I could drown....and no lifeguard around......at least working on shyness is on dry land!
Nov 20th 2012 new
(Quote) Donna-871766 said: (Quote) Chris-840826 said: I would compare getting over shyness to learn...
(Quote) Donna-871766 said:

Quote:
Chris-840826 said:





I would compare getting over shyness to learning how to swim. A person can never learn to swim without jumping into the water first.



Just the same way, a person stops being shy by throwing themselves into social situations until they no longer have that problem. Just keep plugging at it until it does not feel awkward anymore and just feels second nature to be social.






Chris, you are wise beyond your years. Very well said!

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Well I guess you can swim!
Nov 20th 2012 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opposite sex about talking without soun...
(Quote) John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opposite sex about talking without sounding boring or too intense?
--hide--


I would suggest you go on a run or a workout before the date or a day before to make it so you are thinking clearly and not as scared. You will be calmer if you work out.

Women are not critical of shy men. We want you to succeed. You have to know this. You have to believe this. I have dated many shy men and would have married them if the relationship could have continued. I have had crushes on shy men. You are FINE. Being self critical is not going to help you inside yourself. I again will suggest counseling to help you work on that. Shyness is an endearing trait. Never mind being shy.

You need to jump in!

I know a couple of shy men who I think are great men and who would be great to be married to. Things just got in our way.

Nov 20th 2012 new
(Quote) John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opposite sex about talking without sounding borin...
(Quote) John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opposite sex about talking without sounding boring or too intense?
--hide--


If they send you a message, respond to them.
Nov 20th 2012 new

(Quote) John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opposite sex about talking without soun...
(Quote) John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opposite sex about talking without sounding boring or too intense?
--hide--


Can you clarify what you might see as boring or too intense?

Nov 20th 2012 new
(Quote) Marian-83994 said: (Quote) John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opp...
(Quote) Marian-83994 said:

Quote:
John-220051 said: What tips do you have for people who are shy and awkward with the opposite sex about talking without sounding boring or too intense?



I would suggest you go on a run or a workout before the date or a day before to make it so you are thinking clearly and not as scared. You will be calmer if you work out.

Women are not critical of shy men. We want you to succeed. You have to know this. You have to believe this. I have dated many shy men and would have married them if the relationship could have continued. I have had crushes on shy men. You are FINE. Being self critical is not going to help you inside yourself. I again will suggest counseling to help you work on that. Shyness is an endearing trait. Never mind being shy.

You need to jump in!

I know a couple of shy men who I think are great men and who would be great to be married to. Things just got in our way.

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My dearest Marian,

Now for me if I went running or working out before a date,I'd be exhausted and would have to go to bed and cancel the date.
Nov 20th 2012 new

(Quote) Cindy-534370 said: I am not going to say your wrong but that's quite a leap in life, since I can't swim it ...
(Quote) Cindy-534370 said:

I am not going to say your wrong but that's quite a leap in life, since I can't swim it would be frightening to just jump in the water, I could drown....and no lifeguard around......at least working on shyness is on dry land!
--hide--

Is it any different when it comes to people with social anxiety? There are people that have it so bad that when they are in public they actually feel like they are drowning. People just have to jump in, be patient with themselves in their learning, and keep at it until it is no longer a problem.

Nov 20th 2012 new

I agree with the other folks. Ask her to tell you about herself, then ask specific, friendly questions. Be confident. Everyone has an interesting story to tell.

Nov 20th 2012 new
(Quote) Chris-840826 said: (Quote) Cindy-534370 said: I am not going to say your wrong but that's quite a leap...
(Quote) Chris-840826 said:

Quote:
Cindy-534370 said:

I am not going to say your wrong but that's quite a leap in life, since I can't swim it would be frightening to just jump in the water, I could drown....and no lifeguard around......at least working on shyness is on dry land!



Is it any different when it comes to people with social anxiety? There are people that have it so bad that when they are in public they actually feel like they are drowning. People just have to jump in, be patient with themselves in their learning, and keep at it until it is no longer a problem.

--hide--


Why of course Chris, I think I understand completely, if I jump in the water, I would drown, and the problem would be gone, dead on arrival! However, on dry land if you jump in I guess the worst that could happen is you would faint.
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