Thanks for participating in this discussion.
Without intending to ask any personal questions, I'll ask whether taking the time to find out about each other before marriage was worth the wait? What would you advise others to do to make sure that both, on the one hand, they could express some unpleasant emotions when needed and, on the other hand, they would allow the same to the other party?
Wondering whether I've been inflicting flack on myself by avoiding conflict,
Sorry for the technical difficulties...the third times a charm, right?
It was worth it to me, to know without a doubt, what I was getting into. I knew he had a temper. I tend to avoid conflict myself because I prefer harmony. (I'm typing this as both my kids are practicing their trumpets, so it feels a bit ironic, harmonically that is.) I think it is normal and healthy for a relationship to experience some conflict. Hopefully it is less common than the times where you are truly enjoying each other. Knowing your partner and seeing how they deal with those issues is very important. Are you going to work together to come to an agreement or is one of you going to shut down and pretend it never happened? By avoiding it purposefully, you are sort of cheating the other of a chance to show you who they are. I would much rather know what to expect before going into a marriage. But like anything, there are also those times you may not agree, but it isn't worth the battle. My advise is to not stifle too much or the littlest thing will cause a blowout. Emotions are healthy if expressed properly.