I grew up in a family where expressing those types of emotions was frowned upon and suppressed. I carried that into my previous relationships. She would be in a bad mood, not willing to discuss the issue, and it would be the elephant in the room. As for me, if I was in a bad mood, I would make myself scarce so as not to burden her with my issues, trying to work things out on my own, for fear of letting my bad mood out on her.
Going forward, the Bible teaches me not to choose a nagging, vengeful wife (Proverbs speaks to this), so unless she and I can attack the problem together, compromise, and encourage each other (with God at the center of all of it), then I think it's doomed to failure.
Hope that made sense. My flu meds are kicking in.
Thanks for your views. In just a few words, the examples you wrote provided a rather dramatic picture of the unhealthful avoidances that can occur when two people have not become use to being allowed to express unpleasant emotions when the situation justifiies such expressions.
Trying to avoid unhealthful avoidances,