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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
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Jan 18th 2013 new
(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Hi all, I think it is very possible to determine if we are in psynch with someone very early and f...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

Hi all,



I think it is very possible to determine if we are in psynch with someone very early and fairly easily. It isn't just dealbreakers which, let's face it, are fairly easy to spot if we don't kid ourselves about the other and are honest about who we are so that they can determine things from their end.



Deal breakers are setting the bar very, very low. We really want that exceptional match and that means finding things that are perhaps rare or certainly special to us.



That said, I have seen too many cases where someone perceived a deal breaker that simply wasn't there. Misunderstandings arising from the difficult mediums of text and phone. And often every day words and phrasing mean different things to different people. Triggers.



But then here too we can say that someone (Not us!) who won't give us the benefit of the doubt and for heaven's sake just ask for clarification, well, we can say that that is a deal breaker. I have seen so much upset and anger from people who jump the gun on red flags.



And in all of this let us do our best to be kind to each other.



NC Jim



--hide--


Just saw this lol. I do agree jim you should get as much clarification as possible and maybe try to work a compromise but some are just there. For example a girl disagrees with 6 of the 7 church teachings. Well I'd seek clarification and well if that didn't work thats a dealbreaker.

Jim I had the same thing happen to me from a girl who told me she wouldn't pursue a relationship because my favorite shows are It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and Family Guy. Didn't give me a chance to explain how while those aren't the best I'm still a devout catholic.
Jan 18th 2013 new

If you have your hopes up about finding a spouse (which we all do, I suppose, or we wouldn't be here) a let-down over deal-breakers is unavoidable when the person just isn't right for us. Deal-breakers should come up early in getting to know someone, but make sure that the deal-breakers are reasonable and what you genuinely cannot tolerate or do not want in a relationship.

Jan 20th 2013 new

Alex,

I'm laughing and shaking my head over someone who disagrees with six out of seven core beliefs of the church and still comes here to look for a guy. What's up with that? Now there is someone with way more faith in herself than the doctors of the church would have in themselves. Amazing. What a catch. Go girl!

It is amazing how many people, LOL -- it slays me every time I see it -- that disagree with six of these beliefs yet somehow are good with papal infallibility!

I am soooooo happy I'm not one of you fine young guys out there in today's world -- and this from a guy who isn't too happy about being a fine old guy either.

But as I look around here I do see some amazing and beautiful young ladies who just want the real deal. Which is you. So maybe all will go well for you and the other young guys here.

:')

NC Jim

Jan 21st 2013 new
(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Alex, I'm laughing and shaking my head over someone who disagrees with six out of seven core b...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

Alex,



I'm laughing and shaking my head over someone who disagrees with six out of seven core beliefs of the church and still comes here to look for a guy. What's up with that? Now there is someone with way more faith in herself than the doctors of the church would have in themselves. Amazing. What a catch. Go girl!



It is amazing how many people, LOL -- it slays me every time I see it -- that disagree with six of these beliefs yet somehow are good with papal infallibility!



I am soooooo happy I'm not one of you fine young guys out there in today's world -- and this from a guy who isn't too happy about being a fine old guy either.



But as I look around here I do see some amazing and beautiful young ladies who just want the real deal. Which is you. So maybe all will go well for you and the other young guys here.



:')



NC Jim



--hide--


Hahha thanks jim actually the one they agreed with was The Eucharist lol. So yeah I almost sent a message asking if they were serious but I decided it would not be the right thing to do,.

Yes your right I think we all need to think whether or not our dealbreakers are really just that or strong preferences or reasonable for example I KNOW this isn't a reasonable one but if your a Dallas Cowboy fan I won't date you lol because you'd want to kill me i'd spend every chance making fun of you everytime they lost lol.

Thanks Jim wish you luck on here theres a wide range of people on this site it seems.
Jan 21st 2013 new

Alex,

Not to brag but I've recently raised my standards to include -- a heartbeat! Girls with a heartbeat are, well, they're very lively. You should do this too. Tightening up the ol' deal breakers can be bracing.

I've also become brutally honest with myself regarding dating. For example I don't tell myself anymore that women sitting around me in a restaurant are on a date with me. Quite a game changer -- but that's how I roll.

What got me started on this was when someone explained to me recently that the women here on CM are NOT computer generated! Who knew! This changes everything! For example, I'm not being silly in my posts anymore. I am sure this will make all the difference.

Though the ladies do say they like a guy with a sense of humor I have not found this to be the actual case. At lease not when you talk to them at restaurants!

Well, never to cool to school. Though, if someone was too cool to school then that someone would be me. Obviously.

:')

NC Jim

Jan 22nd 2013 new

(Quote) Alex-382372 said: . When is the appropriate time to bring up dealbreakers. When is too song when is too late?
(Quote) Alex-382372 said: . When is the appropriate time to bring up dealbreakers. When is too song when is too late?
--hide--



SOON. I was almost engaged and had already bought a high-quality piece of jewelry by the time they came up. I brought up, in October (a month after dating), that I was a Fox News/Sean Hannity conservative, was pro-life (with abortion--I'm not so much against death penalty), and liked traditional roles WHEN they were Biblical or appropriate. . . meaning the man is the SPIRITUAL head of house. I found out, after eight months of dating, that although she said yes, she agreed initially, my intended: believed Christ was only one path to Heaven, there were other valid faiths other than Christianity, that pro-life is relative and she was pro-choice, and that women could do anything a man could do, ever, in all circumstances. We broke up, because the lessening of the Crucifixion was just a huge dealbreaker to me. . . and she was VERY upset with me. And kept the expensive bracelet, which I doubt she will ever wear again. (believe Miss Manners when she says the first piece of non-bakelite jewelry you buy is an ENGAGEMENT RING).


So soon. I wasted, in this case, and feel that I wasted, nine months when I could have been elsewhere pursuing someone else. Soon and very soon. Don't make the mistake I did.

Jan 22nd 2013 new

wow, where would you be if she admitted that after you were married? a lesson for us all is to watch and listen for those red flags. thank you for sharing! smile

Jan 24th 2013 new
(Quote) Jim-149694 said: Alex, Not to brag but I've recently raised my standards to include -- a heartbeat! G...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

Alex,



Not to brag but I've recently raised my standards to include -- a heartbeat! Girls with a heartbeat are, well, they're very lively. You should do this too. Tightening up the ol' deal breakers can be bracing.



I've also become brutally honest with myself regarding dating. For example I don't tell myself anymore that women sitting around me in a restaurant are on a date with me. Quite a game changer -- but that's how I roll.



What got me started on this was when someone explained to me recently that the women here on CM are NOT computer generated! Who knew! This changes everything! For example, I'm not being silly in my posts anymore. I am sure this will make all the difference.



Though the ladies do say they like a guy with a sense of humor I have not found this to be the actual case. At lease not when you talk to them at restaurants!



Well, never to cool to school. Though, if someone was too cool to school then that someone would be me. Obviously.



:')



NC Jim







--hide--


HAHHA the restaurant thing lol you didn't really do that did you? Yea me too I had to stop telling myself that the women on CM were computer generated lol. I also decided to stop with the jokes it just doesn't seem to work when you type it rather than say it. Not to mention I try some of the jokes Lino Rulli says on the Catholic Guy Show and it seems to offend the women I talk to lol.
Jan 24th 2013 new

(Quote) Jim-149694 said: I'm laughing and shaking my head over someone who disagrees with six out of seven core beliefs ...
(Quote) Jim-149694 said:

I'm laughing and shaking my head over someone who disagrees with six out of seven core beliefs of the church and still comes here to look for a guy. What's up with that? Now there is someone with way more faith in herself than the doctors of the church would have in themselves. Amazing. What a catch. Go girl!

It is amazing how many people, LOL -- it slays me every time I see it -- that disagree with six of these beliefs yet somehow are good with papal infallibility!

--hide--


At least that girl who is one for 7 is honest. Met several on CM who were/are nowhere near 7 for 7 even though profile states such.

75% of people on this site dont fully understand the concept of papal infallibility as it relates to church teaching- so whats the point of asking it? I wouldnt take points off for that. Nor would I pat my own back.

Jan 31st 2013 new
I agree a good communication / clarifications makes the big difference because we all are unique from each other coming from different places.
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