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Discussion related to living as a Catholic in the single state of life. As long as a topic is being discussed from the perspective of a single Catholic then it will be on-topic.

Tobias and Sarah's story is from the Book of Tobit, and his journey is guided by Saint Raphael.
Learn More: Tobias & Sarah as led by Saint Raphael

Jan 31st 2013 new
I do agree there are "real " deal breakers . But proper discernment is very important with divine guidance . Expressing it as soon as you know it is proper in respect to other person .
Feb 1st 2013 new

Its quite convienenant here, the 7 questions sort out my dealbreakers pretty blatantly. 7/7 or be prepared to explain yourself. I've found people here either didn't understand the question, or perhaps failed at one of them in the past and so enter a less than 7/7 when technically they are 7/7.

Some people might think that's snobby and judgemental that I really wont' consider those without a 7/7 but how fair would it be on them? Things like fornication and contraception are major issues in relationships, secular or otherwise. Why would I want a husband I have to nag on NFP no go days? Or that I do not want him giving the kids advice on fornication?

Husband is the head of the household, its his duty to guide the family in spiritual matters, I'm not going to argue with the idiot if he thinks he can get sterilised, or that its perfectly acceptable to be present at a homosexual wedding, or that the Eucharist is just a symbol.

So for a relationship, I'm upfront from day one. There's no point going through all the fluff of "what's your favourite colour? where do you want to be in five years?" if I'm not going to back down on the no contraception rule for example.

Feb 1st 2013 new
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: Its quite convienenant here, the 7 questions sort out my dealbreakers pretty blatantly. 7/7 or be prepared to ...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

Its quite convienenant here, the 7 questions sort out my dealbreakers pretty blatantly. 7/7 or be prepared to explain yourself. I've found people here either didn't understand the question, or perhaps failed at one of them in the past and so enter a less than 7/7 when technically they are 7/7.



Some people might think that's snobby and judgemental that I really wont' consider those without a 7/7 but how fair would it be on them? Things like fornication and contraception are major issues in relationships, secular or otherwise. Why would I want a husband I have to nag on NFP no go days? Or that I do not want him giving the kids advice on fornication?



Husband is the head of the household, its his duty to guide the family in spiritual matters, I'm not going to argue with the idiot if he thinks he can get sterilised, or that its perfectly acceptable to be present at a homosexual wedding, or that the Eucharist is just a symbol.



So for a relationship, I'm upfront from day one. There's no point going through all the fluff of "what's your favourite colour? where do you want to be in five years?" if I'm not going to back down on the no contraception rule for example.



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Wow Yeah thats a shame theres some people on here that lie :(. It also happens with pictures too you'll have people lie about their age and then upload 10 year old pics :(. But thats why I require Skype and phone calls before I meet someone :). I also agree you need to be detailed. Naomi I completely agree with you :). I think it really is great to overcome BIG BIG obstacles early rather than going all full steam ahead until you hit that brick wall.
Feb 27th 2013 new

(Quote) Naomi-698107 said: Its quite convienenant here, the 7 questions sort out my dealbreakers pretty blatantly. 7/7 or be...
(Quote) Naomi-698107 said:

Its quite convienenant here, the 7 questions sort out my dealbreakers pretty blatantly. 7/7 or be prepared to explain yourself. I've found people here either didn't understand the question, or perhaps failed at one of them in the past and so enter a less than 7/7 when technically they are 7/7.

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I find the wording to be pretty good when it comes to the 7/7, because it is specifically asking you if you believe in the Church's teachings on each thing, and while you may have failed in one of those areas, if you believe in it and intend on following it then that is what is most important. I can understand the confusion though, I was originally unsure about contraceptive use during marriage a couple weeks ago because during that point I wasn't aware of the NFP method, and it's effectiveness as you touched on. After getting a good understanding of it, I see and follow the Church's stance on it. I also agree with the unfortunate nature of having people who might not be fully honest about the 7/7 but to play it safe I'll often screen people, on the ones that are big to me like the sanctity of life, or premarital sex, usually bringing up the topics in the first couple messages just to make sure they actually follow them. Another thing that is specifically important to me is political stance. Someone can believe they're 7/7 on all the Church's teachings but if they're voting for a party that doesn't protect the sanctity of life, and promotes contraceptives, and premarital sex then I don't really see them as following or truly believing many of the Church's core teachings.

Feb 27th 2013 new

hug You have a right to be.

Feb 27th 2013 new

Lots of good comments here. Let me add:
Be careful how you define "dealbreaker". Yes, question of morals or of religious beliefs are important. But many people think lesser subjects carry the same weight...and they don't.

Example: I'm not an animal person. I particularly don't care for dogs. The man I loved had a dog he adored. I figured he was worth tolerating the dog, so I did...for eight years. I kid you not, the happiest day of my life (including the wedding and the births of children) was the day the dog died.

Moral of the story: You can put up with a lot more than you think you can, so pick your dealbreakers and battles very carefully.

Mar 5th 2013 new
(Quote) Marge-938695 said: Lots of good comments here. Let me add:Be careful how you define "dealbreaker". Yes, question o...
(Quote) Marge-938695 said:

Lots of good comments here. Let me add:
Be careful how you define "dealbreaker". Yes, question of morals or of religious beliefs are important. But many people think lesser subjects carry the same weight...and they don't.

Example: I'm not an animal person. I particularly don't care for dogs. The man I loved had a dog he adored. I figured he was worth tolerating the dog, so I did...for eight years. I kid you not, the happiest day of my life (including the wedding and the births of children) was the day the dog died.

Moral of the story: You can put up with a lot more than you think you can, so pick your dealbreakers and battles very carefully.

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Yes It baffles me to see Practicing catholics with Obama stickers lol.

Marge Yes I am trying to pick my battles carefully but it sometimes gets muddled my strong preferences versus dealbreakers :)
Mar 9th 2013 new

I like to get answers on my dealbreakers ASAP. That way if there's something irreconcilable, it's apparent quickly so neither side gets highly invested in something that wouldn't work. Maybe it's too fast. I've been led on in the past; I like knowing where I stand, so I ask the hard questions. I try to transition to them gracefully in conversation, not just have them stick out like a sore thumb, but I make sure that I'm satisfied with the answers or I let the other person know that it's not meshing on my side. After all, dealbreakers aren't open to compromise - they're fixed standards that I need to have met. A little harsh, maybe, but I know what I want and I'm not settling lol.

Mar 10th 2013 new

[quote]Alex-382372 said: Yes It baffles me to see Practicing catholics with Obama stickers lol. "


That is certainly a deal breaker for me.

Mar 10th 2013 new

(Quote) Beverly-936499 said: (Quote) Alex-382372 said: Yes It baffles me to see Practicing catholics with Ob...
(Quote) Beverly-936499 said:

[quote]Alex-382372 said: Yes It baffles me to see Practicing catholics with Obama stickers lol. "


That is certainly a deal breaker for me.

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highfive Unless they confess that sin to a Priest first.duck duck duck

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